Everyone arrives at the auction and Jeff explains the rules. The bidding is in $20 increments. They can’t share food or money (remember when they could???). His advice is to bid on something when they want it because you just never know when the thing is going to end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s get to it.
First item up for auction is a plate of pancakes, bacon, syrup, and a side of OJ.
Sorry, I knew this was stupid but was still powerless against my juvenile humor.
Denise starts the bidding at $200. Malcolm bids $320, so Denise jumps to $500. Jeff is floored that Denise just spent all her money in the first round. Denise rationalizes by saying it’s got meat…there’s some carbs…she wants it. Skupin laughingly points out that that’s $1.99 at the local diner. Denise doesn’t care; she thinks her money was well spent.
Next up is a wine and cheese platter and Skupin’s immediately at $500.
What is happening today??
This could end up being the shortest auction ever. Then Skupin says he doesn’t know if he’s gonna drink the wine because he doesn’t really drink. Malcolm looks scandalized by this and Jeff says he’ll take the wine if Skupin doesn’t want it, but Skupin decides that maybe he’s a bit of a drinker after all.
Damn. I wanted to get my drink on
I wish you were able to get your drink on too, Jeff. I’d love to see Jeff tipsy at a challenge! How fun would that be?
The next item up for auction is a plate of five donuts and a glass of iced coffee. Malcolm starts at $20 and Penner quickly goes to $80. Malcolm jumps it up to $200 and wins.
The next item is going to remain covered and I’m hoping it’ll be like back in the olden days of Survivor when the covered items could turn out to be something yummy, or a “local delicacy”, like cow brains, insects, or something equally as gross.
Penner bids $100 on it. No one else looks like they’re going to bid so Jeff points out that Lisa and Scabby haven’t bid on anything yet.
I may be a bitch, but I’m not a moron.
Scabby says she knows she’s going home next so she’ll be eating soon anyway. Does this set off alarm bells for anyone? ANYONE???!!? So, no one else bids on the covered item and Jonathan gets it for $100. It turns out to be fried fucking chicken. Jeff says even he thinks it looks pretty good and that guy’s been eating well the entire time they’ve been out there.
Don’t even think about biting my chicken, Jeff!