Survivor Recap: Smooches!

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Monday, October 22, 2012 | 1:40 pm | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

When she gets back from barfing, Jonathan suggests she take off her wet clothes so they can wrap her up and warm her up.

If it makes you feel better I’ll take my clothes off too!

Dana declines to take her clothes off, but she does let them wrap her up in the blanket and lays down in Penner’s lap. 

I just wanna take your temp; open wide

Dawson notices she’s burning up and Penner says it’s obvious Dana needs medical attention.  Sure enough, here comes Jeff with the medical staff in tow.  The doctor seems a bit surprised to hear how much pain Dana is in, but says it’s not bad enough for her to be pulled from the game.  At least not for another twelve hours.  In fact, his suggestion is that they watch her for the next twelve hours to see if she dies how she does.  They could then reassess her and make a decision about whether or not she can stay in the game.

Jeff tells Dana that the ONLY  time medical pulls someone from the game is when their life is in imminent danger.  So I guess she’s staying.  But Dana is crying and saying she can’t be out here in this much pain anymore.  Jeff asks her to confirm that she’s a quitting quitter that wants to quit.

So you’re quitting?

Actually, he’s much nicer than he usually is about the whole quitting thing, so either he only hates quitters that are guy, or he can tell that Dana is really super sick even though it’s not medically enough to take her from the game.  It’s weird because I expected him to be a jackass about her quitting, but he was actually quite nurturing.  Well, except for the part where he brings in her whole tribe so she has to tell them she’s quitting.

Just to be clear, she’s quitting.

They all know how sick she’s been so no one is mad at her.  Katie just thinks it sucks because her plan for female domination just went out the window.  Even with Denise they’re now merely tied with the guys’ numbers again.

Sucks to be me

It’s now time for the immunity challenge.  As the tribes arrive on their mats, Tandang is shocked to see that Dana is no longer in the game.

BTW….she quit.

For this challenge the tribes will race through a series of obstacles.  Then they will untie knots to lower a drawbridge.  From there one tribe member will chop a rope to release bamboo puzzle pieces.  The whole tribe will then race to find all of the puzzle pieces with letters on them and then use them to solve a word phrase.  As always the winners will be safe and the losers will take a trip to tribal.  Because Dana is gone, Tandang will have to sit out one person.  Ave immediately indicates that she will be sitting out.

Are you fucking kidding me?????

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    PinkTop
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    If that were me, not only would the Probst liplock attempt succeed, I would have slapped his ass on my way out (AND he woulda liked it). Dawson = epic fail.

  2. 2
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    I would like to slap his ass too. Get in line Pink Top.

  3. 3
    BarBelle
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    I swear Ave had her in had in Dawson’s face at first, because I hadn’t realized they could get so physical in this challenge. But then she threw a hissy fit over the hair. Oy.

  4. 4
    featherhead
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    I can’t help it – I love Penner! He was sweet to Dana in a daddy way. If Dawson wasn’t pulling the puzzle pieces out of Penner ‘s hands they might have won.
    I couldn’t believe Pete told Malcolm about their idol after knowing him all of five minutes. What a maroon.

  5. 5
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Uh, no. In answer to your question. Dawson isn’t in Jeff’s driveway. She’ll take ANY rich guy. She just wants a sugar daddy. [Remember how she was naming all the things Jeff Kent needed to buy her for keeping his secret?]

    The girl better get on it quick cause she’s not that pretty and she ain’t getting any younger.

  6. 6
    carol
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    The only thing that kept going through my mind while watching this episode was – who are these people, where did they come from, why are they on the island. I only know the final two from the dismantled tribe and the former actress and baseball player. It really is like a new season starting next week with all these players that have had no screen time so far.

    I thought Jeff was amazing when that girl decided to go home. There was no point for him to be a dick, he probable had to be reminded of her name since he has only seen her at challenges. Also, she went out with class. She did not make a big deal about it, you could tell she was seriously under the weather.

  7. 7
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Thanks PottyMouth. Another funny, put a smile on my face,recap. :)

    I am also glad that you didn’t die in a plane crash. I would have missed you. You do know that not all pilots are like that guy that landed in the Hudson? I have to take xanax when flying so that when I die I am like “whatever”.

    I had a feeling that those two were going to each go to a tribe to even out the numbers. It was an easy solution to the problem that they caused in the first place by allowing that debacle to happen when they allowed the gals to all sit out of the challenge last week. Producer ploy.

    I would have voted out Dawson before Katie because she was so flipping anoying. I know it isn’t a strategic move necesarily, but it sure would have felt good to cut one of the heads off the two headed monster.

    TC, Robin

  8. 8
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    @featherhead,

    I agree with you about Penner. I never thought that I would hear a Survivor contestant tell another to take off her clothes and I knew it truly came from a place of concern.

    TC, Robin

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 3:14 am

    It’s worth pointing out that Juggs once again kicked ass in the immunity competition – while wearing a leopard-print thong, no less! There’s no way they’d keep Flabby Maria over her. Juggs is one of the best physical competitors this season. Unfortunately for her, her social game appears to suck. Greatly.

    Also, I’m pretty sure that, being Mormon, Jeff assumes his handshake with Denise (or any other woman) doesn’t really count.

    But Penner was right about telling her to take off her clothes — there’s no way to get warm in wet clothes. And it’s not like there’d be anything unseemly about it anyway. Dana has all the curves of an 11-year-old boy. Hmm. If you put it that way…

  10. 10
    Pikey578
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 4:48 am

    I read an interview with Dana where she said that she was in hospital for 4 days when she returned from the show. This makes me wonder how great the “doctor” was who said that she had a sore “tummy.” I don’t recall “tummy” being a part of the body, medically. She also said that Penner was one of the sweetest and kindest men she knew and that he was very concerned about her.

    AveMaria and Carter could leave tomorrow and they wouldn’t be missed.

    I would love to see a final three of Penner, Malcolm and Denise and wouldn’t care (right now) which of them wins.

  11. 11
    juddfan
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Great recap!!! I agree, this is like a restart on the season . . . I’ll miss Dawson, as I thought she was more interesting than Katie . . . and Mr. D, I like her looks, but I’m gay, so whatta I know!?

    Funny captions Potty!!! Mwah!

    My wish came true with Denise going to the split tribe and aligning with one half–yay!!!!

  12. 12
    PinkTop
    Posted October 23, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Malcolm just lost any tiny sliver of likeability he might have gained by getting hit with the underdog stick. Now that he’s on the winning tribe and in the power alliance, he’s douchier and more grating than ever. If he wants to get that sliver back, he should team up with Wall Street Juggs and take out Str8 Colton and Flabby Brazil Nut. I’m not holding my breath though. This week’s edit hinted at a budding Malcolm/Pete douche-mance, but we don’t know yet how legit or lasting.

    Mister_D – lol. We can share. I’m not very territorial with my Probst. He can snuff both of our torches.

  13. 13
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    @itchy

    “Also, I’m pretty sure that, being Mormon, Jeff assumes his handshake with Denise (or any other woman) doesn’t really count. ”

    According to him, it also never counts if you only use four fingers to shake hands, no matter who is on the other end. He has a diabolical handshake and it is his secret weapon! So scary! Pfft.

    I think that he wears out his thumb and index finger on a nightly basis, can only use so many fingers the next day and uses the old “I didn’t use enough fingers to shake hands because I meant to” line.

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