Survivor Recap: The End is Near

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Thursday, December 20, 2012 | 2:47 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

Well, I guess I can’t boycott the reward challenge in protest, right?

So Skupin and Malcolm come out of the gates on fire for this one, but I have to give it up for the ladies as well because they’re not too far behind.  Lisa gets a little caught up at one of the obstacles making her the last to have all three bags, but she’s not too far behind everyone else.

They remain close throughout the challenge and all start working on the puzzle right around the same time.  Denise pulls ahead during the puzzle as Skupin falls out of it rather quickly.  Lisa stays in it for a while, but soon it seems to come down to a race between Malcolm and Denise.  And….

Malcolm wins reward

Why the hell is he sniffing the scroll?

He’s probably the one that least needs the advantage, but he’s certainly not going to turn it down.  Jeff hands him a sealed scroll and tells him it needs to stay that way until he arrives at the immunity challenge.  I wonder if anyone is ever tempted to open one of those sealed scrolls.  Or holding it up the light and trying to read it.  Steaming it open and then resealing.  Yes, I would totally unwrap and rewrap my presents to see what they are if I could.

Ya gotta have a response prepared for something like this

Back at camp, everyone congratulates Malcolm on his win even though we know they all wish they could have gone over and knocked his puzzle out or kicked sand in his face or something.  Lisa thinks he’s now going to be impossible to beat in the immunity challenge now that he has an advantage. 

Maybe if I throw hot sauce in his eyes……

Malcolm’s thrilled to have an advantage AND a deal with Lisa and Skupin; he thinks his best chance of winning is up against one of them.  He’s not as confident about his chances of beating Denise because he thinks their stories are too similar.  “You know, the person from the tribe that was wiped out early on and made it all the way to the end.”

At least I’m prettier than she is

I can’t argue with that

Denise and Malcolm go off to get some water and Denise takes this opportunity to try and reconfirm her final two deal with Malcolm.  He hems and haws and tells her he needs to think about it.  What.  A.  Dope.  I cannot believe he’s pulling a Penner on her.  SO frustrating.

Of course Malcolm’s reluctance to commit to her makes Denise very nervous and uncomfortable.  So she decides to go to Lisa and let her know she’s super cool with getting rid of Malcolm if he doesn’t win immunity.

For realsies??

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    The scroll looks like a hot dog. Maybe, that’s why he was sniffing it OR maybe he’s just a “sniffer.”

    I don’t know about Malcolm being prettier than Denise. I totally like Malcolm even after his bitter Betty behavior at the final tribal council but I wouldn’t say he’s handsome. I would say he’s MANLY which is even better than handsome.

    Your fallen comrade walk made me laugh.

    My favorite part of your recap: SPOLIER ALERT: He’s full of shit.
    Thanks for all the recaps Pottymouth!

  2. 2
    Mimo
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    I think Denise is every bit as manly as Malcolm.

  3. 3
    itchy itchy
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Like I said, I’m glad for Malcolm that he didn’t win (although second place would have been all right, he deserved at least that). But I’m especially pleased that neither Lisa nor Skupin won. Especially Lisa, who just annoys the fuck out of me. But then again, I hated her on that shitty sitcom of hers too. And that was back when I was young and tolerant. Har!

    Thanks for the great recaps, Pottymouth!

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    I really wish Jeff had asked that question at the reunion, if Denise and Malcolm had switched places, who would have won. I agree it would have been Malcolm.

    Wait, no screen caps of the extended close-ups of Malcolm’s abs?

    Overall, this season wasn’t bad but I don’t even remember 75% of the players. I would have been happy with Malcolm, Denise or Skupin winning. Have Skupin’s teeth always been that small?

  5. 5
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    Does Russell only own purple polo shirts, or was he wearing the same damn shirt he wore during the game at the reunion?

    As far as Malcolm being bitter, I feel like FTC was heavily edited. His pre-FTC Ponderosa interviews don’t sound bitter at all, and he talks about how he wants Denise to own her game play. So, I have to imagine that was his intent, and the editors made it into, “STOP YOUR STUPID NODDING DENISE!!” I can’t decide if he was dumb for trusting for her for a final 3 deal since she’d tried to organize his ouster at the merge, or give him a pass since up until that point, if the words “my word” came out of mouth, she stuck to it, even if she cried about it a lot.

    RC congratulating herself so hard on seeing Lisa as a threat — she saw no such thing! She thought Lisa a weird isolated older lady who had nothing going for her and therefore was forced to look for an idol (when she was really crying by the well). Revisionist history!

  6. 6
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    Eek — “her” at the end of my second para being Lisa!

  7. 7
    JKW
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    I m very happy that Denise won. What pisses me off is Penner calling her a bitch. Another one that when the guys do it, it’s good game play. If a female plays a good game they are a bitch. Funny thing is that I think Denise didn’t really screw over anyone and was loyal to Malcolm through the whole game. Once she realized he was going to vote her out she did what she had to do. AND anything she said to Scabby was well deserved.

  8. 8
    itchy itchy
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    Yeah, I didn’t get the whole ‘bitch’ comment either. I think Penner was just reaching — or whoever it was who wrote that script for him. Lost a lot of the goodwill I had for him right there.

    And I agree, I don’t believe Malcolm was as bitter as all that — it would go completely against what they’ve shown of him all season (which of course might have been a lie, since the editors knew he’d be on the next season too). Actually, now that I think of it — maybe there ARE hours and hours of Malcolm being a nasty, spiteful asshole on the cutting room floor? You never know with reality tv!

  9. 9
    sweetblondie
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 9:54 am

    Congrats Denise! You totally earned the win.

    @JKW: I couldn’t agree more! Still a huge double standard, even in 2012.

    I think Penner’s a bitch.

    I’m so happy for Lisa! I can’t wait to see her more often…the god speil was annoying, but I’ll give her a pass since she hardly thumped at all during the season. She reminds me of the Ingalls type of religious, not the 100 Huntly Street (gays cause hurricanes) kind…She seems very sincere and kind.

    And I’m really grateful that this awesome season will have me tuning in for next!

  10. 10
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 9:59 am

    I agree with Denise’s lack of apology–Good for her–the name of the game is make it to the end and she did. She stuck with Malcolm until he wouldn’t give her a firm deal on final 2 or 3. And so she saved herself with a deal.

    I think Lisa shored up a little insurance for herself in voting against people being voted out–she knew there were enough votes for Artis already so she tossed her vote to another player. When doing that she can honestly say to someone–”I didnt vote for you”. Remember Season 1 when any vote for you was counted anyway??? Good times.

    I still dont get Penner’s “Bitch” remark to Denise–mayhap he was quoting one of his many acting roles???????

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 10:24 am

    @ 7 JKW– I agree– Denise was loyal until Malcolm wound’t guarantee an alliance anymore–maybe he was angry at himself for not sticking with Denise???? But thats ok b/c he is doing the new season!!!

    Why is Abi’s neck so thick???? And gosh—makeup is no improvement on her.
    How forgetable is Jeff Kent???? He was finally voted out at tribal, appeared on the jury and made a ridonky statement/question about making it happen blahblah. I looked at him with an “Oh yeah…..he was on the show too!!!!!” expression. See–totes forgetable!!!!!!!!

    This has been a fun season and I cant wait for the next one!!!!! Will Malcolms abs holdup in the off-season???????

    Awesome holidays to all!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. 12
    blazergirl
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    A couple interesting things I learned when I read an interview with Malcolm after the show. First is that he said he knew Denise was going to run away with it, so he thought he would give her a hard time so it wasn’t so one sided (he also said they are great friends so it looks like Denise didn’t mind how he treated her during jury questioning or that they turned on each other. The second was that Russell is still incredibly bitter towards him and Denise, especially Denise. Malcolm said hi to Russell at the reunion but Russell just walked away from him. Why would he be so mad at them? Because they stuck together? Everyone else was able to put the show behind them and move forward. What a piece of work. Malcolm and Denise both stated that they are friends or in contact with almost everyone on the show except for Russell. Denise and Abi even made amends. Russell is a moron, plain and simple.

    Finally, as always, love your recaps PottyMouth! Can’t wait to see what you do next!

  13. 13
    ChaCha
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    “She also does that annoying laugh of hers which anyone that’s watched the Ponderosa videos can tell you will make you want to stab yourself in the ear drums with an ice pick.” Oh, PottyMouth, I couldn’t agree more, and RC must think she’s the most clever thinker in the room, because she punctuates every sentence she utters with that horsey guffaw.

    Penner IS a b!tch. Talk about a puny, bitter little snot! I can’t remember when I’ve seen so many blatantly sore losers at the Ponderosa than I did this time. Am truly glad that none of them got to the final three.

  14. 14
    itchy itchy
    Posted December 22, 2012 at 12:59 am

    It’s is a nervous laugh, which makes it even worse. It points to some pretty low self-esteem, which would explain why she let Abi and Pete abuse her as much as they did, without ever seeming to fight back. Unless the editors were too busy filming Lisa to show us that part.

  15. 15
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 1:47 am

    Late to lunch as always, but great re-cap! Looking at the dregs of so-called “favorites” they have returning, I’m ready to root for Malcolm next season. Hoping we’ve seen the last of Russell, Skupin and Penner.

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