Survivor Recap: The Wrath of Shamu

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Monday, March 4, 2013 | 12:45 pm | 22 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Survivor

Hi again, Gasmi.  I don’t know about you, but there are several people that I am SICK of seeing on this show right about now.  But guess what?  This episode is chock full of them.  I know, it’s shocking that we’d focus on the most annoying, delusional people out there, isn’t it?

What’s that?

Oh.  Nevermind. 

So we pick up this time around where we always do; with the losers return to their beach after the boot.  ReynoldsWrap is not happy that his cuddle bunny Allie was voted out.  She may not have been the cutest bunny out there, but her fur was gonna keep him warm on those cold, wet nights.

Luckily he is a mature adult.

You guys aren’t my friends anymore! 

He tells them that they need him to win challenges and he has an idol that he will play.  Oooooooooooo….I bet they’re SO SCARED.  All they have to do is split the votes between him and either Hope or Eddie and either he or his stupid idol is gone.  BOOSH!

THEN ReynoldsWrap tells them he was gonna hold on to the idol and use it for the best of the tribe, but he’s totally not going to do that now.  He is so full of shit.  Whatevs……game on.

Oh…..it’s game on now that you didn’t get your way?

Now, I’m a little surprised because I’m finding myself agreeing somewhat with Shamu; just because things didn’t go your way ReynoldsWrap, doesn’t mean that now’s the time to start playing the game.  You were playing all along.  You just don’t like that it didn’t go your way.

Of course Shamu can’t just be happy that his alliance stuck by him, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  That would be too easy (and rational).  So before I can say “Maybe Shamu is just misunderstood.” he loses his freaking mind and starts yelling at the people WHO DIDN’T VOTE FOR HIM!!!!

Shamu!  As you would say…..SHUT UP!

Laura hates all this drama around camp and wishes Shamu would just shut the fuck up, but I think we all know that that is NOT going to happen.  He’s all in HairSchlong’s face and I can’t help but think that HairSchlong is regretting his decision not to join the cool kids’ lunch table. 

If this schlong were harder and sharper I’d totally stab you with it.

Why is he yelling at me when he probably doesn’t even know my name?????

Yeah!  Who the hell is she?  I forget.  I don’t think the editors remember either because there’s no little name tag below to help us out.  Shamu just keeps on yelling and now his mobs are shaking all over the place and I’m starting to get queasy.  Laura tells us that the part of Shamu that was fun is now just totally gone…….there was a fun side????????

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

22 Comments

  1. 1
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Uh, Russell, was playing a character. It was something he made up.

    Shamu is just an unhappy angry person. I’m glad I’m not on that tribe.

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    At this point I’m convinced Shamu was hired to destabilize the fans tribe in order to ensure that someone from the favorites tribe will win. Which is what the producers want after all, because why else bring in this group of hacks?

    Hope clearly had no interest in playing the game — she could have easily ensured she’d stay at least a couple of days by voting out Eddie.

    Not enjoying this season so far. We’re already three episodes in?

    Also, Malcolm pretty much chokes on most competitions, but especially these ring-toss comps. He did this last season too.

  3. 3
    carol
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    Actually, burning the shelter to the ground is against the rules and the producers could decided to remove MiniTonyDTiger from the game.

    The HII is annoying. Do they even give clues to it anymore? A great fix for it would be to still have it but have it in four pieces. So, basically, you need all four pieces to complete the HII. And one of those pieces is handed out with the first clue. EX – even if Malcolm found all three pieces, he would have to side with the person (if he didn’t win) that won the clue. It would add more drama and game play.

    Also, if the ‘Fans’ are going to tribal again next week, it would be awesome if the ‘Pretty Boys’ just sat there and egged Shamu on the entire time between the challenge and tribal. They know either one of them would be going home, so they wouldn’t have anything to lose. It would just make the rest of the tribe hate Shamu even more and maybe, just maybe if they did a good enough job of annoying him, the tribe might vote out Shamu. Or Shamu might get removed from the game for hitting the pretty boys.

    As annoying as CockRing’s sidebar about home much he loves the game was, it was nice to see a true fan playing the game. Wasn’t he originally part of the Fan tribe on his season? I guarantee you that he is a bigger fan than anyone on this season’s ‘Fan’ tribe.

  4. 4
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    I thought Sham was one of those nutty Occupy Wall Street types. Didn’t they live in tents and poop on the sidewalk? How can Survivor, where they provide food and water for you, be that much harder?

  5. 5
    Miss Molly
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Shamar complaining that people were’ throwing him under the bus’ … but from what I see it looks like Shamar keeps crawling under that bus all by himself.

  6. 6
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    I’m confused. When they were on the beach, Sham had the snorkel mask ON HIS HEAD. How did someone else end up with it?

  7. 7
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    I don’t think Shamu was part of Occupy Wall Street. There’s a video of him yelling at a group of bored-looking cops in which he is pretending to be defending a group of Occupy people, but it’s mostly more of him grandstanding. That video is exactly why he was chosen to be on Survivor — because he’s a blowhard.

  8. 8
    lindaw205
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    I’m with itchy. I think they recruited him because of that stupid video to create a little chaos with the fans and cause drama. I find it irritating when they concentrate on one person. I bet Phillip is upset that Shamoo stole his camera time.

    I probably would have already given up on this season but I’m playing fantasy survivor. But is sure has been boring. Maybe zombies will come shuffling into the camps and eat up Shamoo.

  9. 9
    lindaw205
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    I meant, the show sure has been boring not FS.

  10. 10
    sandsweeper
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    Why is Reynold’s nickname ReynoldsWrap? Did I miss something?

  11. 11
    lindaw205
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    I don’t know about anybody else but that’s just what comes to mind when I hear/see his name. Was he the one wrapping his legs around whats her name in the shelter?

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    I believe it’s just a silly play on his name. The guy’s more of a tool than the tin-foil hat type anyway.

  13. 13
    LdyJne114
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    I wear Day/Night 30 day lenses…don’t have to clean or disinfect them. Just pop’em in, and after 30 days, throw them out. I could stretch them an extra week and a half if I had to, so 39 days in one set of lenses isn’t that hard to imagine.

    Pretty sure Penner wore contacts too…at one point when he got caught putting away his HII (I think) he pretended to be getting his glasses but interviewed to us that he was already wearing his contacts.

  14. 14
    nashuaf
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    There was a great interview on Grantland (link at the end of this) where Probst shared the items that the show provides. It was something like contact solution, tampons, medications, and sunscreen.

    http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/68796/hollywood-prospectus-podcast-chuck-klosterman-with-jeff-probst

  15. 15
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    Great recap Potty!!! The recaps are far more entertaining then the show is. Well for me anyways!!! Holly did turn the conversation with STFUShamooo around. Not that I really give a rats ass one way or another about the Jar Head from Supply. Ed, Edd and Eddy gets on my nerves almost as much as STFU Shamooo does. As far as Reynoldswraps goes, he’s worth about two dead flies but they definitely need him around for the challenges.

    I see in the previews that somebody is going to get hurt. I just wasn’t paying enough attention to see who it was or even what tribe they might have been on. Speaking of people getting hurt and having to leave. I can’t recall ever being as happy as I was for somone having to leave as I was a couple of seasons back when that freak Colton (I believe his name was) had to go!!!

  16. 16
    BarBelle
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    I get why they’re keeping Reynolds, strength in challenges, but I’m not sure why they didn’t target him to force the idol out. They could have split the votes between him and Hope instead of him and Eddie and still kept him around for the challenges but sans idol.

    Unless I’m missing something and this is just my late night ramblings. Love the recap!

    Also, the only reason I can think of that Reynoldswrap even tried to talk to Shamu after they lost the challenge was to poke the bear in front of the tribe. He had to know that was going to make the guy go off (so I definitely agree with Carol, at a tribal council where you know you’re going home, you could really make him lose it.)

  17. 17
    itchy itchy
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 4:07 am

    They couldn’t split the vote to flush out the idol because Reynoldswrap is so full of himself he wouldn’t have played it — and they’d have accidentally voted him out.

    At this point, I’m just hoping for a mix-up — wouldn’t it be fun to see Shamoo and Phillip go toe-to-toe?

  18. 18
    Pikey578
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 9:25 am

    “hippotanic land mass” – I love how you sneak in the Princess Bride references, PottyMouth! Well, back to reading the recap…

  19. 19
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    @ itchy I really think that there’s a good chance that we will get to see a showdown between STFUShamooo and Agent Pink. I just don’t see there being enough votes to vote STFUShamooo off untill after the merge. Now the other side could possibly vote off Agent Pink but I just can’t really see the Fans side winning any challenges. Unless perhaps they get damn lucky!!! I suppose that’s possible but the chances are slim to none. Then again, *What the hell do I know!!!*

  20. 20
    hot cawfee
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    Did Malcolm ever actually go back home and decompress after he was (brilliantly) voted off from S-Philippines??? Could account for his choking at challenges–or its to remove a target from his back. But he has a HII now so he can rest a bit.

    @ 3 Carol– I like your idea!!! The HII is too easy to find—-why have one at all??? Or hide a couple–that would be awesome in itself. Watch the feeding frenzy. This season is boring. Thank goodness for the stellar recaps!!!

  21. 21
    juddfan
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    I like the split HII too! I just can’t bear to listen to Shamu, I just can’t bear it . . . add in Pink Panther and Hantz and this season is a sure fire recipe for my death!!!

    Thanks Potty!

    Mr. D, you ever check out Brandon’s you-tube channel . . .

  22. 22
    Mike Hunt
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    I guess I should have known that STFUShamooo wouldn’t , couldn’t and just plain ain’t a gonna dew it to the merge. Go the hell home then ya big crybaby!!! I guess that’s kind of cold but if he wouldn’t have been such a lazy good for nothing, *Bring me my Rice* ass wipe. I wouldn’t be talking shit about him!!!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.