So this is it, Gasmi. We’ve reached the last round of auditions before Vegas week. Will we finally see some ballroom dancers? Will they continue the trend of showing mostly awesome dancing? Will Nigel lose his Viagra prescription once and for all?
I tried hiding it once but that fucker always finds it!
Joining the Perv and the Screech Monkey this evening is Adam Shankman. I have this weird love hate thing going on with Adam. I love that he’s always so enthusiastic about the dancers and how you can tell he reallyloves dance, but I’m still pissed at him for calling Danny arrogant and being Mean Girl Mia’s number two bitch a couple of seasons ago.
You need to move on
I know, Adam, I do. Just please don’t ever go back to that, mmmmkay?
Once again we get to hear from Mary about what not to do while Adam acts it out for the hearing impaired dancers among them.
Is Nigel checking out Adam’s ass?
I’m sure the dancers all find these tips to be very helpful since they’re no doubt choreographing their audition pieces on the spot, right??? Oh. Wait. Nevermind. The audition modus operendus remains the same: Awesome=ticket to Vegas, good=choreography, suckage=shown to the door.
Our first dancer of the evening is Witney Carson. She’s a ballroom dancer and adorable little blonde thing who tells us she will be doing Latin ballroom dancing which she’s been doing since she was eight. We see pictures of a little Witney and it appears that she has been adorable her entire life.
She’s going to be doing a cha cha tango today, and she tells us that it’s really sensual and sexy. I can already see the drool pooling at Nigel’s feet. It’s funny because she’s really cute and perky talking about bringing the sensuality to her dancing on stage. I’m not quite sold on her ability to shake the cute factor.
The judges take to her immediately; Nigel thinks she’s as cute as a button. He asks if she’s been competing and she says she’s just started with a new partner so they haven’t been competing together yet. Her partner isn’t auditioning because he’s only sixteen. Of course Nigel has to make a crack about her going for younger men.
Don’t you like dirty old men as well???
Time to perform.
LOVE HER!! It really is amazing that all traces of cute little adorable thing are GONE when she dances. The judges keep looking at each other throughout her performance as if they can’t quite believe what they are seeing. This girl is really something special.
Standing ovation from the judges. Nigel tells Witney that they’ve seen some fabulous ballroom dancers on this show, and then he compares her to Anya which I think we can all agree is VERY high praise. Personally, she reminds me more of Chelsie Hightower with that combo of cute and fierce, but either way Witney is fantastic.
Mary says she was commenting to Adam about how girly she is, but then she walked upstage and struck her pose and turned into a woman. Whoa-man. Mary thinks Witney is for sure what she calls a hot tamale. Oh……no.
That’s on the list of things I haven’t missed.
Witney’s dancing has cause Adam to come down with a sudden case of Turret’s. “Shut the fuck up! You were amazing!!!!” He tells her. In the audience her mom adorably covers her ears. He thinks she is everything this show is all about. Obviously the girl is going to Vegas!!
Next up is Lynn Gravatt who tells us she first started dancing when a force entered her and danced her around the living room. I’m already annoyed because I can tell this is going to be a joke of an audition and we’re already wasting WAY too much fucking time on it!