I already can’t stand this kid. I’m convinced he is going to be one of the joke auditions of the night, making me want to puke again.
He runs up onto the stage with his shirt unbuttoned all the way. Nigel wonders if the buttons are lost and Stephen says no; he can button them up if they want him to. Neither Mary nor Jesse do.
This kid is WAY too full of himself. Mary isn’t helping here, she’s in full on perv mode, drooling over this guy like he’s the next Pasha.
Give it up Pasty McClownFace, you’re not even close!! I bet he smells like old cheese.
Mary continues to oogle over him which causes Nigel to make a comment about how any of the girls are welcome to come up with THEIR buttons broken as well. BARF.
It’s obvious that the dude is trained and can actually dance, but what he does here is AWFUL. Nigel asks him who choreographed the piece. He did. Bad move. They do see something in him though and actually give him a second chance.
He’s good. I still hate him. That probably means he’ll be in the top twenty and I’ll have to look at his mugging stupidity instead of one of the other ballet boys we’ve already seen. I will lose my shit when that happens. So be prepared.
We go from pasty asshole to a bunch of people we’ve seen before, including another pasty asshole.
Teddy the Twatface.
Ugh. Another one I can’t stand. Hopefully he’ll flame out like he always does once they get to Vegas because if his ass ever makes top twenty…..I can’t…..just the thought makes me want to kill myself.
So as you can probably guess, this theme is going somewhere. We’ve arrived at the end of the theme with Jonathan Anzalone. He auditioned in season 4 and was an arrogant asshole.
You will not be sexfull.
Ah, Mia. I do miss her when she’s not sitting at the judges table being an asshole for an entire season!
Anyway, Jonathan has come back to audition again, telling Cat that he’s got a new attitude and a shaved head to go with it. He says the reaction he got after the show was really bad an he’s ready now to show them that he’s a new person.
Nigel remembers him. Sort of. He tells Nigel he’s going to be b-boying for his audition.
So. Here’s the thing. He’s not terrible, he’s actually pretty good. But we’ve seen some amazing b-boys on this show and Jonathan really doesn’t even come close to those guys. He does a move where he goes straight from standing into a ball crunching split, but who the fuck cares?
Nigel calls it the Nutcracker Suite. Hardy har har. Nigel’s not so impressed; it seems like more of a contortionist act to him than anything else. Can he do anything else? Jonathan lists a bunch of styles and Nigel wonders if he’s done any ballroom. No, but he can dance with girls.
Nigel wants him to prove it, so he picks a girl from the audience.
And just like that…joke audition. Pleh. Give me a break! Jesse is impressed, whether by his dancing or butt twitching I don’t know. I’m guessing butt twitching since he runs up on stage to tuck a dollar into Jonathan’s waistband. Really Jesse?
Mary is also blinded by butt twitching. So Jonathan moves on to choreography.
Time for some seriousness. We’re getting toward the end of the auditions, and Cat tells us that Jasmine Mason is still waiting for her turn. For the last three seasons she’s watched her brother, Marshea, audition for the show, and it looks like last season he made it through to Vegas.