SYTYCD Recap: Pervs in LaLa Land

So You Think You Can Dance

By PottyMouth | Saturday, June 2, 2012 | 9:01 am | 25 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, So You Think You Can Dance

I already can’t stand this kid.  I’m convinced he is going to be one of the joke auditions of the night, making me want to puke again.

He runs up onto the stage with his shirt unbuttoned all the way.  Nigel wonders if the buttons are lost and Stephen says no; he can button them up if they want him to.  Neither Mary nor Jesse do.

Gross.

This kid is WAY too full of himself.  Mary isn’t helping here, she’s in full on perv mode, drooling over this guy like he’s the next Pasha.

SO NOT.

Give it up Pasty McClownFace, you’re not even close!!  I bet he smells like old cheese.

Mary continues to oogle over him which causes Nigel to make a comment about how any of the girls are welcome to come up with THEIR buttons broken as well.  BARF.

HORRIBLE.

It’s obvious that the dude is trained and can actually dance, but what he does here is AWFUL.  Nigel asks him who choreographed the piece.  He did.  Bad move.  They do see something in him though and actually give him a second chance.

He’s good.  I still hate him.  That probably means he’ll be in the top twenty and I’ll have to look at his mugging stupidity instead of one of the other ballet boys we’ve already seen.  I will lose my shit when that happens.  So be prepared.

We go from pasty asshole to a bunch of people we’ve seen before, including another pasty asshole.

Teddy the Twatface.

Ugh.  Another one I can’t stand.  Hopefully he’ll flame out like he always does once they get to Vegas because if his ass ever makes top twenty…..I can’t…..just the thought makes me want to kill myself.

So as you can probably guess, this theme is going somewhere.  We’ve arrived at the end of the theme with Jonathan Anzalone.  He auditioned in season 4 and was an arrogant asshole. 

You will not be sexfull.

Ah, Mia.  I do miss her when she’s not sitting at the judges table being an asshole for an entire season!

Anyway, Jonathan has come back to audition again, telling Cat that he’s got a new attitude and a shaved head to go with it.  He says the reaction he got after the show was really bad an he’s ready now to show them that he’s a new person.

Nigel remembers him.  Sort of.  He tells Nigel he’s going to be b-boying for his audition.

So.  Here’s the thing.  He’s not terrible, he’s actually pretty good.  But we’ve seen some amazing b-boys on this show and Jonathan really doesn’t even come close to those guys.  He does a move where he goes straight from standing into a ball crunching split, but who the fuck cares?

Nigel calls it the Nutcracker Suite.  Hardy har har.  Nigel’s not so impressed; it seems like more of a contortionist act to him than anything else.  Can he do anything else?  Jonathan lists a bunch of styles and Nigel wonders if he’s done any ballroom.  No, but he can dance with girls.

Nigel wants him to prove it, so he picks a girl from the audience.

And just like that…joke audition.  Pleh.  Give me a break!  Jesse is impressed, whether by his dancing or butt twitching I don’t know.  I’m guessing butt twitching since he runs up on stage to tuck a dollar into Jonathan’s waistband.  Really Jesse?

Mary is also blinded by butt twitching.  So Jonathan moves on to choreography.

Time for some seriousness.  We’re getting toward the end of the auditions, and Cat tells us that Jasmine Mason is still waiting for her turn.  For the last three seasons she’s watched her brother, Marshea, audition for the show, and it looks like last season he made it through to Vegas.

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

25 Comments

  1. 1
    McWeanis McWeanis
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

    AHHH I HATE ALBINO BALLET GUY
    his face, gross smile, general demeanor just made me want to vom.

  2. 2
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Caley did say he has ADHD and that probably explained the inordinate amount of “quirk” in his personality. (Robert was still more of a child with a very mature face…he’s still only 21?) I just wish he rethought that stupid moustache. Hipsterisms don’t belong in OC, dude.

    But I’m glad you mentioned the blending of the blondes because they all started looking like freakin’ Ryan, minus the defensive lineman neck.

    I liked the circus performer but assumed he was there for the exposure more than to make the top 20. As beautiful as the routine was, it was acrobatic and not dancing so I wasn’t too surprised he got cut. Still loved the audition.

    Ballet boy felt like a set up. How did he have the better audition tucked away in his pocket and pulled it out so easily? Why did he go with the joke one first? It just seemed like something forced for someone with such extensive training to just half-ass it but still get a chance to prove what a good dancer he is.

  3. 3
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Yes Caley Carr– hhmmm…crafting a persona for himself
    Poor Sam L— needs to develop more–lot of raw talent. I feel for her–she is only 18 and still dependent on the ‘rents for things so you have to fall in line. Its why at my age that I live out my fantasy life thru GLEE, GLEE Project and SYTYCD

  4. 4
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Jasmine– lovely to watch but a little too mature in her dancing. I am a stickler for appropriateness: of dress, of steps/choreography. When she is in the top 20 I hope the choreographers do her justice and let her be 18.

    And yes— heard that about ole MM too— hootch and booty

  5. 5
    gun kata
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

    I am not sure if the judges heard all of the details about the accident until they’d decided because Nigel mentioned it when he sat back down.

    The homeless (well, offically, her friend’s house/family is nice) girl’s story is strange. But, some people aren’t good parents or, if they were, aren’t very good at dealing with a person transitioning for a kid to an adult. So, good luck to her.

    I have heard of the Ninja Twins, so I figured that was why they had such a big segment.

  6. 6
    gun kata
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 10:58 am

    If they are going to continue with pole dancing on this show, then they will need Bret Michaels to judge. I hear he is an expert.

  7. 7
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Yeah there was just something I didn’t like about Albino Ballet Guy /Butter face Ballet Boy. They were just something weird about him, he gave off kind of a sleazy vibe to me.

    I liked the pole dancer, the martial arts guy, Marshea and Jasmine.

    I liked the twins, but I do think their segment went on way to long.

    They’ve shown some really good dancers this year. So hopefully the top 20 will be full of good and diverse dancers this year. I think last year was pretty good season, but I’m tired of contemporary heavy seasons.

  8. 8
    blueberryPancake
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    Clay Aiken circa 2001 Ballet Boy was a major creeper…Geeeew! What was the set up for?…I don’t get it !!
    Sam and her Momma Drama did not give me a warm fuzzy feeling..more a WTF feeling- Her dancing was Meh.
    Ninja Twins…loved ! totally pointless..but loved nonetheless! I want to hang out with them.
    Circus Ring…OMFG! cool
    I kinda loved Caley and his ironic hipster tap dancing…wished he could have cut it in choreo.
    Elaina..really good… I am sure Nige was happy to edit some pole dancing crotch shots…alone ..in his basement…
    Jasmine, Marshea- LOVE Tear.

    Is it bad that at my daughters dance recital last night I was playing SYTYCD judge in my head…it passed the 2 hours! all the 5 year olds in her class went straight to vegas :)

  9. 9
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    Here’s ballet boy’s bio from the Cincinnati Ballet.

    http://www.cballet.org/thecompany/jacobsen

    My thought on what the set up was is that the producers have started (have always been?) recruiting dancers. It’s nice to picture the “Lana Turner” element where a bright, shining star just walks in but at this point you want to hedge your bets. They still have to audition, but it’s like how TC contacted Bryan Voltaggio to submit a video for TC after Michael submitted his tape. Bryan was already shortlisted, they just wanted to make sure he was camera ready.

    A smaller company like the Cincinnati Ballet may be more willing to work with SYTYCD than Miami City Ballet or the SF Ballet since they’re both pretty well established and, clearly, Edward Villella learned well from Balanchine about being a taskmaster. So the producers solicit the company/Jacobsen and, as an aside, ask him to stage a fake audition before moving into the real one, which was beside the point because he was always going to Vegas. Now he has to earn his spot in the final 20. He was still pretty smarmy, though.

    I’m not against the idea of recruiting talent on a talent-based show. Especially a show like this where the talent level needs to be quite high. So if they’re reaching out to smaller companies and asking for recommendations, I’m fine with that. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Matz was a set up, too. A troupe like that had already auditioned for AGT and did well there and with Matz being local (even to downtown LA since it looked like he lived in the Arts District which is walking distance from the Orpheum…kinda) he was asked to come down and “audition”.

  10. 10
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    @vallegirl Smarmy! Thank You! That’s the word I was looking for to describe him.

  11. 11
    gun kata
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    The Italian guy… if this is the humble version, I can’t imagine the unhumble version. Well, except he was mostly likable. “Oh, I can dance with women.” Ahahaha

  12. 12
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    So Travis Wall and Nick Lazzarini are getting a reality show on Oxygen. The show is suppose to follow them and two other guys as they start their own dance company. Its called All The Right Moves and starts July 31.
    http://features.oxygen.com/outloud/blog/entertainment/new-dance-based-docu-series-all-the-right-moves-starts-july-31-at-11pm-et

  13. 13
    zbird
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Did anyone else think that the mustachioed guy looked closer to 35 than 25? And don’t say it’s b/c of the So Cal sun…I’m a So Cal girl and I think he looked OLD! Definitely older than the twins, whom I did get a kick out of, btw.

    Ballet Boy’s first audition was 100% set up, no question. And uck, I’m with y’all on the smarmy factor. And very gummy.

    Circus performer guy was great! I agree that he wasn’t there to try for Vegas/Top 20 — he is freakin’ great at what he does and I love that he got to show it!

    Potty, I love how much you love this show! It makes me smile, because I do too. And Cat is such a cutie — love her!

  14. 14
    gun kata
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I think ballet guy thought a regular ballet audition wouldn’t work for the show, so he came up with something that turned out to be silly. I would think, however, he could come up with something on the spot since practically anything he did that showed his ability would look 1,000 times better than the first audition. But, who knows. I don’t have any strong feelings about him, but I think he’ll be around for a while.

    Which, that being said, that gives us two people featured in this episode with a whole lot of ballet training who have also trained in other forms of dance… one girl and one guy… hmmm…

  15. 15
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 5:58 am

    @ 7 Sagitar– I agree–I’d like a little classical this year.

    @8 Blueberry– absolutley not !!! I play Judge of Everything all the time !!! Helps pass the time. And congrats on your daughter’s recital– what fun !!!

  16. 16
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 6:52 am

    @Valle – Thanks for the interesting info. I agree that, when the level of talent is expected (by the audience) to be superior, recruiting is not a bad thing. Besides, it seems like they let so many people through to Vegas that there is still a chance for a hidden gem to be discovered despite the recruiting.

    I LOVED Cole – he was so hot and his dancing only enhanced it.

    Had to pause the DVD on the Marshea story to take a sob break. You can tell his neck is still stiff. I am really worried about him reinjuring himself – it seems so soon. That doesn’t mean I’m not pulling for him, though!!

    Homeless Sam – I’m with @blueberry – she did not elicit much sympathy from me (and I do believe that there is more to the story), and her dancing was middling. Plus her head is WAY too small for her body and it bugs me.

  17. 17
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted June 3, 2012 at 9:21 am

    I adored the cyr wheel guy, but the show isn’t called “so you think you can circus”, and he didn’t dance. It was incredibly cool to watch, though, and a better use of our time than angry gerbil or too-old twins.

  18. 18
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 6:14 am

    Albino Ballet Boy…when that much gum is showing, in our family that’s referred to as Llama Lip.

  19. 19
    Liz
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Potty, I love reading your recaps! You make this show awesome.

    So, I feel like the grinch here but I was completely annoyed with how garish the show was this time. Promos that lead with, “stay tuned to hear about how this one guy died!” (even though he didn’t really, that was the promo), ugh. And Mary asking kicked out girl if she had family support. I’m sorry, but I really don’t buy that when a dancer is holding something back/doesn’t dance with emotion the first thing you ask is if they have family support. She knew exactly her story, as they always do because they always ask specific things when the dancers get up there, she just wanted to have her say it on the stage. And then that ballet guy, wtf. If a real auditioner had done that, they probably would have kicked him out for being disrespectful or something, not then said “I wonder if there is some other routine you can do….” Buuuut, despite all that, I really liked alot of these dancers and am actually kind of excited for this season.

  20. 20
    gun kata
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Liz, I agree the car wreck promo was overdone. If they wanted to cover it then they could’ve handled it better.

  21. 21
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Car-wreck-siblings’ story was really touching, but hospitals do not generally “declare someone dead on arrival” unless they are very sure that is the case– as in, they’ve tried rescutating for so long that there is no hope of a meaningful recovery, even if they managed to restate the heart, because the brain has been deprived of oxygen for too long. He may well have had no pulse, but it’s unlikely he was actually “declared”. It’s pretty awesome that 6 weeks later he’s dancing like he was never hurt, though.

  22. 22
    PottyMouth PottyMouth
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 8:59 am

    I am so glad that I wasn’t the only one repulsed by creepy ballet dude!!

    McWeanis: Me too! Which is why I’m convinced his nasty ass is going to make it to the top twenty. Ah well, if he does maybe I’ll lose some weight this summer!

    vallegirl: Totally agree about the circus guy. The funny thing is I don’t mind it in the least because it was cool as hell. You’re probably right about ballet boy. I still have a visceral hatred for him.

    hot cawfee: Agree about Sam L – she has talent but should probably work for a few more years and then come back again – it didn’t wow me enough to route for her.

    gun kata: LOLOLOL! Bret Michaels as a guest judge would be hilarious! The flat chested girls would be terrified that week!

    sagittariuskim: I think we’ll still end up with a crapload of contemporary dancers. They do it every fucking year. I’d really like to see some more ballroom dancers in there and how about an awesome hip hop girl? I hate it when the top twenty is like 16 contemporary dancers (even when they lie and call some of them jazz dancers, and only 4 of other styles.

    blueberryPancake: I play SYTYCD judge ALL the time! Though I have to admit, I am easier on the kids I know than the ones I don’t. The five yea olds should definitely ALL get tickets to Vegas!!!

    vallegirl: I wish the guy didn’t seem like such an asswipe because he can clearly dance. Your theory on recruiting makes sense – after all, they do want to make sure they’ve got the talent to fill that top twenty!

    gun kata: My sister & I said the same thing about him – he didn’t seem more humble to me, just trying to put a “funny” spin on it.

    sagittariuskim: I LOVE this news! Travis announced it at one of the workshops we attended this year, and I’m really looking forward to watching. LOVE these guys!!!

    zbird: When they first showed him I thought he was going to be another audition of someone too old to compete. That ‘stache really needs to go – he seems like he might actually be a cutie under it. I love that you guys love this show so much as well! Yes, there’s plenty to snark on (there ALWAYS is), bu there’s so much to love as well. This is always one of my most favorite shows to recap!

    S-Natch: I really thought we were going to find out that Marshea had died – when he was there and auditioning as well I have to admit I got a little misty. I’d love to see him go far IF his body can handle it.

    Pageant-grandma: I would totally watch So You Think You Can Circus!!

    cattyfan: LMFAO! If he makes it into the top twenty his nickname is totally going to be Llama Lip!!

    Liz: Thanks so much! The stories and the multiple lead ins always annoy me. Even when they successfully get to me. The judges do know the stories before they get there, I think. I’m pretty sure that they have information that’s been gathered about the contestants beforehand. ESPECIALLY when they’ve done an entire video segment about them just for the auditions!!

    Thanks again everyone for reading and commenting! I’m really excited about tonight’s show because it looks like we’re getting Debbie Allen! I love her.

    See ya soon!

    SWAK, PottyMouth

  23. 23
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 10:09 am

    I just want to go on record as saying, I in no way endorse Casper Llama Lip, because he bugged the crap out of me, too. Especially because he clearly had the talent and training to get put through without acting like an asshole. It was just him magically getting the second chance because Nigel “saw” some things in his first crappy audition that just compelled him to give Casper a second chance that made me conclude shenanigans as well.

  24. 24
    SouthernTippi
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 10:33 am

    I am just really glad we got past the “there must be at lease one major tumbling pass in the middle of my routine” phase. That really bugged me. If I wanted to see that I would watch “So You Think You Can Tumble”!

  25. 25
    nooneinparticular
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    To those who referenced recruting trained dancers etc if you watch the fine print at the end of the show from the very first season where Blake had worked with Mia before they have a disclaimer that due to the nature of the dance industry they may have connections to dancers etc. And unlike say Idol they’ve never been claiming they are only getting undiscovered amateur dancers which I appreciate because I love dancing and so I love to get to see good dancing. I appreciate that they’re at least fairly honest about it. No doubt that was a set-up. They knew he was in a ballet company. However I do learn more toward he was trying to be unique and instead was bad. He was a very fabulous dancer though I did not like him all that much.

    I am very excited about Travis and Nick’s show. I have loved getting to see Travis but wondered what happened to Nick until he showed up on a DTS results show with Travis this season.

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