Teen Mom 2: Alphabet Soup (IUD, DNA, GED)

19 Comments

1. 1
   Holyterror
   Posted January 31, 2013 at 6:46 pm

   Jenelle’s mouth drives me crazy, too. It’s like an asshole with an egg-tooth.

2. 2
   katie
   Posted January 31, 2013 at 7:46 pm

   Didn’t some clothing line (American Eagle, or Aeropostale, or Abercrombie) ask Gary to not wear their clothing during filming because he was so gross and not a good advertisement for their brand? I can’t believe Victoria’s Secret hasn’t done something similar with these girls and VS Pink sweatsuits. Or maybe Victoria’s Secret has sent each girl a huge supply of them so they can be seen wearing them at all times. Hard to say.

3. 3
   darlingclementine
   Posted January 31, 2013 at 8:59 pm

   Ohhh thanks for the tidbit about jenelle. it must be really bad if MTV is putting on the breaks due to odd behavior… last time that happened it was the Spencer and Heidi era.

   @Katie I think that was The Situation from the Jersey Shore with Abercrombie

   I watch way too much MTV obviously.

4. 4
   LadyStardust
   Posted January 31, 2013 at 11:44 pm

   I’ve completely given up on trying to figure out Chelsea’s “style”. Homeless bag lady? Lazy college kid? Spoiled brat? Someone who spends so much time putting on orange makeup that they literally grab clothes off the floor as they run out the door? All of the above?

   I mean, I love a good pair of baggy sweatpants as much as the next girl but I feel sloppy running to the grocery store in them, much less being on national tv. But I guess when the only places you ever have to be are your couch and the tanning salon you don’t bother really have to bother getting dressed.

   I didn’t notice the thing about Leah’s braces. So she doesn’t have them the rest of the episode? So that segment was filmed earlier then?

   Jenelle’s mouth bugs me too. Her lips curl up too much on the ends and she looks like The Joker sometimes.

5. 5
   Considerthis
   Posted February 1, 2013 at 7:04 am

   Never noticed but how jacked up were Leah’s teeth before? Good Lord based on the apperatus in her mouth ala Hannibal Lechter were they perpendicular to the ground? Going the vanity route (shocker) she looks like she opted for clear braces but the girth of them erases any attempt to disguise as they stick out 14 inches.

6. 6
   hot cawfee
   Posted February 1, 2013 at 8:51 am

   DAMN– Chelsea and her mom look so much alike!!!!!!!!!! But I miss the theme sweaters of the first season–back to reading

7. 7
   hot cawfee
   Posted February 1, 2013 at 9:08 am

   OK– and done!!!!!

   Madelyne–here is a tray of baked ziti, garlic bread (butter not margarine) and a pan of brownies—you have to eat honey–things will improve—a little carb-action cant hurt ya.

   Isaac is just beautiful—Squishy Baby with a big boy haircut—-I have to say these train-wrecks have beautiful kids. Well Kail is a little one compared to the others.

   Jenelle!!!!!— Jesus she is like the Marcia Brady of the group—-JenelleJenelleJenelle!!!!!!!!
   That makes Chelsea the Jan—-you know she was bitching the loudest at production shut down.

8. 8
   Jacey
   Posted February 1, 2013 at 9:38 am

   Those poor poor kids…luckily they are all so adorable but their parents are CRAZY! I hope in the end that the kids end up being productive members of society and not all screwed up by their parents. Jenelle does what she does for attention and she doesn’t care how she gets it or whether it is negative or positive. I’m glad that Jace is with his grandma because I would hate for him to be in the whirlwind that is Jenelle.

   Leah – I just don’t even know what I think but I do think her kids are adorable and it seems like her and Corey can co-parent rather well. The twins are surrounded by love and I think that is always important.

   Kailyn – I think out of all of them and with a lot less support she has her stuff together. Raising her baby and working and going to sch0ol…it makes me glad that the fame hasn’t gone to her head and she seems to be on the right track!

   Chelsea – Aubree is adorable and I hope she’s happy that mommy and daddy have money because you can’t be on Teen Mom 2 forever and I don’t see her working anytime soon!!

9. 9
   yeknom
   Posted February 1, 2013 at 11:06 am

   Poor Jace. Such a cute kid with such screwed up parents. His (possible) dad claiming he’s a good guy made me laugh. It means he’s a real piece of crap. It’s like a crazy person saying I’m not crazy. It usually means they are. Plus he hasn’t been in his kid’s life for a couple years….yeah that’s good guy behavior. I’ll bet he’s watched Teen Mom 2 w/his crack pipe in hand sayng “That’s my baby momma!” convincing himself that by watching it, he’s a good dad.

   Leah is an idiot. So is her new fiance. If you look at that pic of her when she woke up you can get a good idea of what she’ll look like when she’s old and has her ill-fitted dentures in.

   Chelsea? Ugh. Pathetic. How long has she been studying for her GED now? Years? That’s tragic. Applying self-tanner and plucking your eyebrows into oblivion must take up a lot of her time. She’s definitely not spending that time cleaning.

   Kail…she’s the only one I actually have hope for. The others should all aspire to be a little more like her. She’s working & going to school to make a better life for her & Isaac no matter how hard things have been for her.

10. 10
    Dizzle
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Speaking of Chelsea’s eyebrows, what was up with them? Looks like she’s drawing them on completely, definitely not flattering. I’m sure she’ll do just fine when she gets to beauty school in 30 years or so.

    I’m disappointed in Barb this season, no hilarious outbursts to look forward to anymore. She has been replaced by Goggles as the breakout star.

11. 11
    sheesh
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    Proposal over a plate of bacon?
    Nice…the lure of bacon.

12. 12
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    The Leah Experience, summed up in just two song lyrics:

    “A little bacon fat… keeps things right on track.”

    –”Put Your Teeth Up On the Window Sill”, by Southern Culture on the Skids

    “Sometimes, you need a really nasty girl, the kind of girl who needs to take the gum out of her mouth before she puts your dick in there.”

    –Anthony Bourdain

13. 13
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    To me, Non-Goggles is the type of child that would be adorable as a cartoon character, but that doesn’t translate to real life and is in real life, a little frightening. Aubree has become cuter to me since she’s been able to speak which is a real shocker – usually kids have the opposite effect on me once that happens.

    Leah has what I call the “Heidi Montag Effect” – their first significant other treated them like a real person (not that Jordan Eubanks wasn’t a TOTAL douchebag, mind you) but they didn’t treat them like the PRINCESSES that they ARE! Enter Spencer Pratt and Jeremy, who realize a good thing (cash cow) when they see it and lay on the”charm” thick. Unfortunately Jeremy does not yet realize the staying “celebrity” power the Heidi Montag Effect has, which I guess he’ll see in a few years.

14. 14
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 1, 2013 at 11:45 pm

    JudgyWudgy: I have to agree about Jeremy. He seems super nice (if not a little slow), but I have to wonder what guy at his age (20-ish?) would settle down after only two months with a recently divorced mother of two toddlers – one with special needs. That’s a LOT of responsibility. I can’t even imagine the money would be worth all of Leah’s drama though.

15. 15
    PammyWrites
    Posted February 2, 2013 at 4:23 am

    Eyebrows! What about Jenelle’s eyebrows that look like semi colons? Like half of her eyes are surprised all the time… And her mouth, I hate it when she says “my moooommmm” and draws it out forever. Chelsea is a spoiled brat who has too much time on her hands in my opinion. Not to mention, how does she have any hair left, she changes the color every other episode. UGH the braces, that was just weird and good lord, why don’t they do surgery on that poor child’s crossed eyes? I don’t think even goggles will fix that.

16. 16
    NMH
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    Another hilarious recap, just had me cracking up throughout! Love how you are spotting discrepencies in scenes as well. Just one side note I want to add. I’v been reading Ann Rule’s book Small Sacrifices about Diane Downs, and something that has just jumped out at me is how Diane and Jenelle look alike. I DONT want to imply Jenelle is as psychotic as Diane was or that she would hurt Jace in any way, but I think their physical characterstics are eerily similar…same small, thin-lipped mouth, same dead eyes.
    Anyway thanks for another great recap just the same.

17. 17
    Meg
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    @NMH Oh my god I just read Small Sacrifices and could not put it down. She was such a sociopath! I hope Jennelle doesn’t turn into someone like that. Horrifying!

18. 18
    Nik
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 2:31 am

    I reckon Jenelle is the spitting image of Diane Downs. Mother of the year circa 1983

19. 19
    Classy Drunk
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 5:54 am

    1. I have the same wand that Aubree had in this episode. I’m not sure why but I do.
    2. What happened to Jenelle’s broken arm?!?!?!