Teen Mom 2 Finale: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pregnant

Teen Mom

By Madelyne27 | Friday, February 8, 2013 | 4:01 pm | 21 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Teen Mom

 I wonder if her hair smells as good as it looks.

Another snore-fest, we are watching video of Kailyn’s first day on the job. She’s at that little Thread boutique. We get to watch her go through training and it’s so boring. I have no idea how the store will ever stay in business. Kailyn is so nervous she can barely check out the one and only sale of the week. But it’s the perfect job for her. It’s quiet. No drama. Just like Kailyn.

We’re back to the time when Leah and Corey realized they wanted different things in life. Corey wanted a new truck, and Leah wanted a bigger house trailer. They both got what they wanted, plus a divorce. Great job guys. At the dealership we see that Corey has no negotiating skills. He even bought the undercarriage coating. Corey thinks that Leah will puke when she sees his new truck. She doesn’t puke, Corey, she leaves you. Corey thinks they will be fine. Oh you stupid, stupid man.

Can I pay extra for the warranty?  

Now this is kind of fun (in a VERY demented way), we are watching Barb throw Mike out of her house. She does it the same way that she kicked Jenelle out. She puts all of his clothes in a garbage bag and throws the garbage bag out on the front porch. Barb is telling Jenelle and Jace how she bought itching powder to put into Mike’s underpants. She thinks it’s funny because Mike will think that he has crabs. And then his new girlfriend will think that she has crabs. And then Mike will think that the new girl gave him crabs and come running back to Barb. (Most likely with something worse than crabs.) Barb is so excited about her plan. Jenelle is clearly thinking about pot, but she thinks it’s a great idea too. Jace is on the phone, calling Mike.

 So long, Mike!

 Itching powder is always funny.

 Just tell me if I can smoke it.

Leah, Corey, and Non-Goggles are out to eat. I forgot that they were still married at the beginning of the season. She does move quite fast. Non-Goggles is working her way through a pickle while Leah is working her way into one. I don’t see Goggles at the table. Goggles where are you? Corey thinks it’s great that they can have a meal together, even though they are going through divorce. Yes, you two are heroes.

 Your momma is in a pickle.

I totally forgot about the promise ring. Thank you, Dr. Drew, for reminding me of this budding romance. We’re over at Chelsea’s dad’s house, and Chelsea and her friends are talking about how they think it went over when her dad found out that Adam gave her a promise ring. Chelsea thinks it went okay. Her redheaded friend is wearing tragic eye makeup once again. They all talk about the cycle that Chelsea and Adam go through, time and time again. Chelsea tells her friends, in her baby voice, that she loves them all.

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Madelyne27

It's never too soon. It's never too far. And it's never the wrong time.

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Erin10270
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    This recap had me cracking up! Goggles does look like a boy! But so cute! the insanity that is Leah ‘s logic is absurd. And she does need to put clothes on her kids..especially when filmed.

  2. 2
    DM
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    Andrew has gained a whole new batch of meth scabs since we last saw him on 16 & Pregnant. Remember that? He claimed to be a model!

    Speaking of, way back when on Jenelle’s 16 & Pregnant episode it was kind of hilarious how much she sucked… Now her life is just sad.

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    @Madelyne27 I got to
    “I’m pregnant! And so is the raccoon on my head!”
    and had to take a ROFL break. I’ clicked your Facebook so I’m officially your fangirl now.

    I think the thing that squicks me out the most about Leah is how she always runs and tells her friends every detail of her most personal scenes with Corey.

    To me it feels like she’s stomping all over his privacy’s ass. And then date raping it.

    Which is stupid since they’re on a tv show. And we know most of the time they’re doing a dramatic recreation. Maybe it’s because you can tell Corey takes it to heart the same way he did when it happened in real life.

    I can’t help but feel sorry for her though. Because sooner or later her reality contact’s going to kick in. And it’s going to hit her how bad she’s fucked up all these lives. Including hers.

    High 5 Gogz! Call her a bitch, bitch, and another bitch.

    The 1 bright spot this season is that it’s looking more and more like all she’s got are some eye and leg problems. But that she’s all right in the head. In fact from the little bit we see I think she’s getting advanced faster than Corn.

    I hardly ever get baby crushes. But Gogz in her little flannel shirt is cute as a floppy eared bunny rabbit.

    @DM He’s a meth scab model. It’s a niche thing.

  4. 4
    SarahRita
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 9:43 am

    Leah is the worst kind of crazy. I mean Jenelle is obviously crazy, but its the very in your face kind of crazy that can be medicated. Leah is so manipulative, and she victimizes herself constantly. I hate myself for saying this, but Jenelle is one of my favorites right now. Then again I shouldn’t get too ahead of myself here, because my favorites change every week. And Andrew definitely looks like a meth head.

  5. 5
    Considerthis
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 11:27 am

    OK anybody who has read my comments on this site knows that I am no prude and can drop a “F” bomb with the best of them.

    With that said I find it so unappealing (kindest phrase) that all these moms use such harsh and unnessesary language in front of their kids. It just seems to show a lack of respect for their children – especially at such a young and impressionable age. To some degree it is the feeling I get when I see a visablly pregnant woman puffing away on a cigarette.

    From Janelle shrieking curse words constantly to Kail (who is the most mature IMO) who let’s her unrequited feelings for Jo push her to start swearing at him as she hokd Issac on her lap. I just don’t get it?? Have I ever let a “bad word” out in front of my kid – for sure but it is the exception not the rule.

    Great cap so far – mammoth job – reading on….

  6. 6
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    I used to like Leah alot, but recently, I only watch her segments to catch a glimpse of the concentrated adorableness known as Aliannah Simms. Once I’ve seen her cute little face with her cute little goggles and her cute little rolls of baby chub, I pretty much tune out, because Leah makes me want to not live on this planet anymore.
    She really needs to seek therapy for her emotional problems, and I need for her mother to be a better parent.
    I don’t think my mother has ever said to me “it’s your life, do what you want” and actually meant it.
    When she says it, it’s just code for “it’s not actually your life, I’m just lending it to you and I’ll snatch that shit right back out from under you if you don’t act like you have some sense”. Leah needs some of that, because she has gone so far off the rails even The Little Engine that Could is like fuck that bitch, I can’t.

    MTV is so shady with how hard they focused on Jenelle’s face when she said that she didn’t understand how someone could have a kid and just not care. Because she is a paragon of good parenting.
    Andrew’s face made me sad. He looked so old and gaunt and dried up….like a piece of beef jerky abandoned in the desert. In truth, I say to you, cocaine is a hell of a drug. Meth and bath salts (I’m sure he’s on both) are also crazy.
    I loved how Barb was damn sure she was gonna get her money though. She didn’t even get the slightest bit mad, she was just like naw boo, he gonna pay me.
    I miss her crazy too, but I guess it’s best for everyone (especially Jace, who needs some sanity so badly) that she remain sane.

    Chelsea Houska got her GED.
    Everyone hit the deck, armageddon is officially nigh.
    This is no longer a drill.

  7. 7
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    Great recap – you had me from the first sentence :)

    I LOVE that Jenelle and Barbara are worried that Jace is going to have mental issues if Andrew is the father. HAVE THEY MET JACE’S MOTHER? Also, am I the only one who thinks that Jace does resemble Andrew a little? I also totally forgot that he was supposedly a “model”. Right….

    After seeing Kailyn in the UnderArmour sweatshirt, I am now convinced that MTV gives these girls clothes to advertise for them. UnderArmour must have some huge contract with MTV because I see them sponsor other shows – I know The Challenge contestants all wear UnderArmour clothes on that show too. But it is kind of refreshing to see something other than VS Pink. But do any of these girls wear anything other than hoodies??

    Re: the Quaker Steak and Lube restaurant, apparently it’s a Pennsylvania thing (and I guess they have some in that part of WV…I never saw them in the eastern part where I grew up). My husband is from PA and I saw one when I went up there with him. I was kind of disturbed too, but I guess they just have a car theme inside the restaurant. Still a gross name.

    Leah looks 12 with her braces and bangs, so I’m having a hard time watching her smile and tell everyone she’s pregnant. It’s just really creepy. You know her hair is bad when I’m missing her perm-with-straightened-bangs hair from when she was on 16 and Pregnant. But yeah, I’m done with Leah after this season. She’s completely unlikable anymore. She just couldn’t wait to tell everyone that she was pregnant again.

  8. 8
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    I probably shouldn’t admit that when I’m not working, you can typically find me in a hoodie. And there’s also a good chance it’s VS Pink.

  9. 9
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 7:40 pm

    JudgyWudgy: Ha…same here, but I think if I was on TV I’d probably throw on a nicer shirt and some jeans every once in a while.

    I think I may just be jealous that they don’t have jobs and CAN wear sweats all day…

  10. 10
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 12:26 am

    Kailyn should shack up with Kris Humphries. They’re like herp and derp: two dumb things that totally belong together.

  11. 11
    Dizzle
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 10:16 am

    I actually used to like Leah and felt for her while Goggles was getting her “MR-Ahs” and they didn’t know if she has a “syndrome”. Now her true persona is coming out and it’s despicable. Corey always came across as wanting his family to work out.

    On a side note, Kailyn really does resemble oatmeal. Girl could use a trip to Year Round Brown.

  12. 12
    Lisa
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    still in the middle of reading, but had to comment about Slo Jo before I forget. The commentator says Slo Jo has never said ugly things about Kailyn’s ex-boyfriend. Oh but never fear, Slo Jo certainly HAS said ugly things about Kailyn’s ex. I remember a few, but those were overshadowed by the vulgar, ugly venom he spewed at Kailyn on a regular basis the second season……..in FRONT of Issac! And if you didn’t already know, I loathe Slo Jo. He is obnoxious! He spews insults at Kailyn while HE’S living off his MOTHER! oK, back to reading…….

  13. 13
    Lisa
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Slo Jo’s girlfriend only wrote the letter for dramatic purposes. There was no sense in it. It served no purpose. You know when it’s Slo Jo’s weekend, his Mom is taking care of Issac. I doubt very seriously if Vee has ever helped at all with Issac.

  14. 14
    Madelyne27 Madelyne27
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    @lisa, you’re totally right about Slo Jo… He’s been more quiet this season, but when he gets mad, he quickly loses control and gets v. mean. and she feeds right into his hand and loses her cool… so i guess it’s not that i LIKE him, he’s just calmer this season and i’ve forgotten alot about his douchy past. but his parents def do all the work for him and Isaac.

  15. 15
    Mrngstar
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    Something not mentioned in the recap….the hilarious way Chelsea’s new Megans dissed Adam & shut up her whining about him. I loved it, it’s about time someone start telling her to shut it when she starts pinning over that skinny weasel. Also…..don’t ya just love Barb? Andrew says, ” love you guys!” Barb responds, “yeah, he loves me!” Holy smokes that was funny!

  16. 16
    PinkTop
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 10:39 pm

    Just when I think this show can’t possibly sink any lower, they go ahead and hit us with Andrew…

    I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss his modeling claims. “Model” is sometimes code for prostitute.

  17. 17
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 5:56 am

    Absolutley Leah has pulled all kinds of crap like this her whole life—always thinking she is to quote Mother Cawfee “the cutest trick on the block”. And yes–she wants Corey and Jeremy to fight –physically–for her.

    Oh Kail—Isaac wont leave you–it will be ok.

    Jenelle– Lordy——-and Andrew-wow—the ugly side of modelling

    Chelsea—no words–other than color your hair—Or maybe dady Houskabucks wont pony up for it???

  18. 18
    Considerthis
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 7:09 am

    God do I wish Corey would find a smokin hot, Duke University undergrad, heir to the coca-cola fortune girlfriend.

    Leah would SHIT herself and all of sudden Jeremy and her liter of kids would get shoved aside as Leah would devote all her “free time” to soothing her ego and getting Corey to pay attention to her.

  19. 19
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 10:48 am

    I couldn’t afford the real version, and I certainly wasn’t going to stop having sleazy, trailer park sex, so I bought a Mareen-A knock-off IUD at the local dirt mall. I figured, like, you know, how different could it be?

    Well, that dang thing should have come with a supply of “day after” pills… I got knocked up more often than a fancy breeding llama…

  20. 20
    Schadenfreude Schadenfreude
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    Madelyne, thanks for the ”This is what week old spray tans look like” screen capture!

    When I originally watched the episode, I thought it looked like Leah had a mustache. I paused the same scene on my DVR and it still looks like she has a mustache! The place I managed to pause was at a slightly different angle with better lighting.

    Is that week-old spray tan residue or does Leah need a shave?

  21. 21
    hihi90
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    Jeremy looks like a lesbian. Just sayin’

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