Teen Mom 2 Recap: DysFUNction

75 Comments

1. 1
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 1:24 pm

   Too bad the legal agreement didn’t include the following riders:

   1. Kailyn will practice keeping her damn lips together, so she isn’t walking around with that classic mouth-breathing, brain-dead, gawping-fish expression all day long. Jesus.

   2. Slo Jo is legally required to stop wearing those retarded looking straight-brim trucker hats. He, also, doesn’t need any help in the outward displays of dumbassery department.

   I think the reason Leah and Chelsea always have those shit-eating grins on their faces, especially when they’re creating drama, is the cameras. Yeah, anybody normal would have the sense to look sheepish, but these two know that their net value goes up every time they do dumb shit. Do something dumb, tell everybody about it, and the cameras come around. What else have they got to be proud of?

2. 2
   dallasboo
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 1:34 pm

   I laughed out loud at the screen shot of the fucked up mannequin head at the “beauty” school! Is that supposed to be a serious hairstyle with that weird red stripe wrapped around the head? I would not let a single person in that “school” come near me……Aubrey better run before her mom starts practicing on her!

3. 3
   Lisa
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 1:48 pm

   hilarious screen shot captions!!

4. 4
   wcsdancer
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 1:49 pm

   I don’t watch the show, but I feel so sorry for the kids of these mouthbreathers. Poor little Aubree…she’s so cute (and evidently smart) and looks like a street waif.

   I used to go to the local beauty college for cheap pedis, until my favorite student graduated. Most of the students are right out of high school, many have kids (like Chelsea). I mean, good for them for learning a vocation, but conversation was so awkward. If you think her hair looks bad now, wait til the students start learning hair coloring!

   As far as the attraction to Leah, you must be right that she has special sex skillz…and low standards.

5. 5
   wcsdancer
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 1:50 pm

   @dallasboo, at least that would mean Aubree would get her hair washed.

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   mere2142
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 2:04 pm

   Remember when Leah used to be kinda cute? What the fuck happened?

   As I said in the minicap, I cannot wait for Keifer to come back because we’ll get Jenelle at her best (for us at least). Bring on the crazy train.

   I want Goggles and Aubree to get their own show.

   Were Leah and Jeremy wearing the same shirt in the restaurant scene?

7. 7
   Classy Drunk
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 2:11 pm

   @NWMTV…I know you hate it when people say this but it’s true this time…for REALZ. I choked on my OJ after reading your post. You want to know why what I’m saying is real life…who drinks OJ without vodka after 1030 am? Anyone? Yeah…that’s what I thought.

8. 8
   yeknom
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 2:42 pm

   I’ll bet Leah looked just like non-goggles when she was little.

   …siiigh… Jenelle. She shouldn’t even be on Teen Mom because she might have given birth to a baby, but she is in no way a mom/mother. Is it bad that every time I read Gary in the recap I kept expecting Amber’s baby daddy to be the Gary in question?

   Chelsea makes the strangest faces while she’s getting ready.

9. 9
   lindaw205
   Posted February 27, 2013 at 4:22 pm

   I don’t watch the show but I do read your recaps and WTH? Leah and Chelsea have turned into skanky ugly girls! And I see Jenelle winding up with a younger Butch doppleganger.

   I thought these shows were originally intended to show how hard teen pregnancy is. All I see now is the perks they have for getting knocked up and some even seem to be having more babies so they can stay relevent I guess?

10. 10
    Holyterror
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    Does Jenelle really think anyone in the medical field is going to hire her?

11. 11
    considerthis
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    Ms. Monica is a Saturday Nite Live skit waiting to happen. She absolutely takes herself way 2 seriously and the delivery tone of her “lectures” are awesome! Maybe we should call her Professor Monica?

    LOVE the talking head screen grab – would love to see “the head” pop up in future recaps dispensing advice and wisdom to these troubled moms. Very amusing 2 me.

12. 12
    Madelyne27
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    @considerthis – totally great idea… we’ll have to name “the head” and use her to provide guidance to the Teen Moms.

13. 13
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    Alright, who is the one that looks like an oompa loompa on the home page? Does she thing she is going on a episode of Toddlers and Tiaras?

    I know this is a teen show and MTV, and I know we are here to snark, but Madelyne, I feel so bad for Ali when you call her Goggles! She is so adorable. I know she has health issues, and I also know from personal experience that Ali is going to be called that and worse for the rest of her childhood and probably into adult hood! I believe Ali has a lazy eye. That is what it looks like when she isn’t wearing her glasses. I love her little purple glasses too. They remind me of mine when I was little. But mine were not as fashionable in 1982 as hers are in 2012/2013. I had eye surgery when I was her age, and have been in glasses ever since. I wore a patch everyday until I was in the 4th grade so I could get my eye muscle to work…I finally told my mom no more. I didn’t want to be made fun of anymore….I will say this though, here mom needs to lay off the damn VictoriaSecret sweatsuit sets and get some clothes on those babies!

    don’t get me wrong guys, I snark with the best of them over on the Toddlers and Tiara’s recap, but it is more on the parenting and less on the looks of the kids…Ali tugs on my heart! I would so adopt those girls!!

    @wsdancer, there is a beauty college by my house, and I have gone in there for hair cuts before, Wasn’t to bad for 8 bucks…a slight upgrade from Great Clips! I made the mistake to go in for a pedi one day, yeah, I could have done a better job myself. She was to busy talking with her friends. But I really did love the girl that did facials. I was so sad when she left!! She was having trouble finding a job I guess, cause I went into Taco Bell one day with the hubbs and she knew me by name before I could figure out why she looked so familar!

    @Holyterror, I think it may depend on what she wants to do exactly… if she is just filing pt charts, maybe, but if she has to answer a phone and interact with people, not so much!

14. 14
    ase
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    Madelyn, good job pointing out how ORANGE Chelsea is!! Holy shit. I watched the episode but I didn’t realize how bad it was in the picture of her putting on her make up. There was one scene when Chelsea was either dropping Aubree off of picking her up and the difference in their skin colors was…interesting….to say the least.

15. 15
    Lopezgirl
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    My kids looked the color if Chelsea when they were born….. But that’s because they were jaundice! What’s ur excuse Chelsea?

16. 16
    ase
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    thisbuggs4u – the identifiers goggles and non-goggles started on another blog about a year or so ago (someone brought it over here) and is really just that: an identifier. because their names are so similar (and DUMB and not really names), they are hard to remember and before they had hair or anything, the only way to decipher between them was one had glasses and one did not. nothing offensive is meant by it. and quite frankly, with skanky leah as her mother, being called goggles is the least of her problems :-\

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    SexyPanda
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    Didn’t watch the show, but had to comment on the ridiculously awesome photo that’s showing up on the headlines right now. it’s perfect. Thank you.

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    jrb
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    Despite her ridic extreme orange (seriously…does she think that looks good?) this is the most I have ever been able to tolerate Chelsea. She was slightly less baby talk-y and was in general a pretty decent mother for once. And to our knowledge, she did not call Adam. It’s a start – that’s all I’m saying.

    Leah…maybe West Virginia is short on young, fertile women. I don’t get it. And I just realized that Non-Goggles looks exactly like her. I’m just waiting for Leah to throw that other guy back into the mix (the one she cheated on Corey with). Because what’s better than having 2 guys interested in you? 3. Anyways, she’s probably already cheated on Jeremy with Corey. They might want to do a paternity test on that new baby.

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    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    @ase-ok, I can understand that. But still, it kind of brings back bad memories. Ali is so cute, though. I know what she is going to go through for pretty much all her “odd” years. There was nothing like being in kindergarten and having people call you patch..

20. 20
    ase
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    thisbuggs4u – i think you definitely have a good point in that the poor kid (apparently she is ali, i seriously can’t identify them by their names lol) is going to have to deal with a lot of shenanigans because of all the things that make her different. hopefully she is able to come out on top, as it seems you have

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    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    @Ase, yes I have, but just the memories of all the name calling and kids being mean. that is the kind of stuff that sticks with you. Again, she has some pretty kick ass glasses, I want them in adult size! I also want to adopt both of them, give them the attention that truly need!

    Don’t get me wrong, I wore contacts for a while, but having a lazy eye, if something happens to the “good” one, yeah I will end up being legally blind. There won’t be much for me to do after that happens! I still have a lot of years left with my one good eye. I can’t get Lasix or what ever that eye surgery is. Eye doc said, nope!

22. 22
    PinkTop
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    Are Slo and Junior bio brothers? They look nothing alike. Slo looks like an angry bird, and Junior looks like a docile hamster.

    I agree that Jeremy looks like a lesbian. So does Corey come to think of it. Hmm…

    Ms Monica looks like a drag queen.

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    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    Ahhhh so much Ali in this recap, thank you!
    I also noticed that when she’s eating finger foods, the cuteness tends to reach critical mass. It must be from having her adorable chubby hands in such close proximity to her adorable chubby face.
    I want to keep her in my pocket and take her out occasionally, to tickle her chubby little belly.
    I wish she would just suddenly appear in my house so we could play games and I could keep her for my own.
    But only if she leaves Aleeah at home. I don’t want her here.

    I agree that Jeremy is a dum dum but from the look on his face at dinner and the mini-outburst he had towards the end, it looks like the bacon that Leah keeps in her vagina as a man-lure is beginning to lose its appeal. Maybe she needs to replace it with something else. If she’s looking to snare Corey in particular, I’d suggest chewing tobacco.

    I thought Ms. Monica looked and sounded like a porn star.
    The head definitely needs to be a recurring character….I’m imagining its voice and I cannot stop laughing.

    I’m also sad about Isaac…he was never particularly cute to me, but he’s kind of starting to become ugly honestly.

    Gary almost beat the shit out of Jenelle when they had that scuffle at the front door.
    She was lucky that the cameras were there or it would have been lights out for her.

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    Nik
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 1:02 am

    My son always asks why that lady (Chelsea) has mud on her face. Something wrong when even a 6 year old boys knows that’s not natural colouring.

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    Madelyne27
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 3:36 am

    Goggles is awesome. Non-Goggles is the one that should be worried. yes, nicknames can be cruel, but if not me, then who? I have a feeling Goggles is going to turn out amazing and Non-Goggles will be on 16 & Pregnant… but she won’t be 16 yet. I saw some recent pics of the two girls and Goggles is downright pretty… Non-Goggles looks like her mom and not in a good way. I’ll post them next week.

    I’m sorry for stirring up bad memories (you understand I want you to change your screen name to Patch, right?)… But i can only judge the moms on this show for so long… it was a matter of time when personalities developed in their offspring that afforded me the opportunity to decide who i do and don’t like. Kids are not all created equally. Let’s not pretend they’re all cute.

    @chaos – totally agree on Isaac. He has had a few cute moments… but he looks like a really short middle aged man.

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    Madelyne27
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 3:39 am

    https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/13220_346868132084549_2060723479_n.jpg – PRETTY GOGGLES

    https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/426570_345903915514304_726188712_n.jpg – MINI LEAH

27. 27
    Moli
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 3:59 am

    How can you not love Goggles, the girl is freaking adorable! Non-Goggles ummmmmmmm yea…
    I can’t until we get to see normal(crazy) Jenelle soon. I want to steal aubrey and give her a bath, comb her hair and love her to pieces(Ali you can come too, you know she read recaps).

28. 28
    kthxbai
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 4:52 am

    I’ve had that same thought. That Corn’s going to grow up to look just like Leah. And Gogz is a throw back to some cute ancestor they had from ancient times.

    @Madelyne27 I think you’re right that she’s is going to get even more amazing. And leg problems be damned. She’s just got that spark. And I never get baby crushes. But I totally want to hug Gogz.

    Judging by that wig head they had next to the Urban Art book, it looks like Chelsea found the right school for her aesthetic.

    I hope we’ll get Ms Monica professional development segments every week!

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    suebrz
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Ugh, the insanity of these trash bags makes me crazy..poor kids..However, glad we can laugh about it in this too politically correct society. Madelyne, you’re hilarious. Thisbuggs4u, I’m sorry you were picked on, weren’t we all? but don’t be such a buzz kill.

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    dallasboo
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 10:32 am

    wcsdancer- good point! Aubree always looks like she needs a good scrubbing! She is so adorable…..I hope that as she grows up she does not learn her makeup and hair tips from her mother.

    And I agree with the posters who vote to have The Head has a recurring character! It probably has more common sense than Leah or Jenelle!

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    Pippin
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 10:51 am

    @Madelyne27 Gary’s shirt is the name of a Hip Hop collective/group/whatever. Stands for Young Money Cash Money Billionaires or something just as silly.

    The captions were so spot on! Corey definitely needs a Megan. Goggles needs her own tv show.

    I am still convinced Chelsea uses Cheetos dust as foundation. Do the girls watch the show back? Can’t she see how ridiculous she looks?

    I wonder how much of the dark side of Janelle’s spiral MTV will show us.

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    considerthis
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 11:52 am

    A dry creative spell for me but any ideas for a name for the all-knowing, super snarky wig head??

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    mick
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    From now on, whenever I am sad, I am going to look at that screen shot of Corey staring intently at nothing and laugh until I pee.

    @chaosbutterfly: you’re totally right about Leah’s bacon vaginey! Let’s hope Gary doesn’t hear about it

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    chaosbutterfly
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    I found the cutest video of Ali walking around the house: http://www.wetpaint.com/teen-mom/articles/leah-messers-daughter-aliannah-walks-around-the-house-video

    She’s starting to get too big for my pocket and is losing her chubbiness, which kind of makes me sad.
    When will I get to squish and cuddle her?

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    Madelyne27
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    hopefully Teen Mom 3 will provide us with a Goggles-double…

    i’m trying to think of a good name for the mani head… The only one i laughed at was Silent Barb.

36. 36
    lindaw205
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    @chaos – I tried the link and was only able to hear the audio but the video portion was black. I’m guessing this has to do with my google chrome. I have mucho problems with it when trying to view videos.

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    considerthis
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    Silent Barb did get a chuckle from me. Something with Cheetos, Orange, Black Hills, Monica, – just brainstormin!

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    JudgyWudgy
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Aw man. When a baby isn’t chubby anymore I no longer have interest in it. I’m gonna make a great mother.

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    wcsdancer
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    mani head isn’t the only one on this show with dead eyes and an empty head.

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    katie
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    @Madelyne27 I can’t believe how big the girls are in those pictures! I wouldn’t be surprised if mini-Leah isn’t already on some sort of birth control. But the picture of Gogz – are those her teeth, or does she have food in her mouth? Cuz something doesn’t look quite right there…

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    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Hey I am not trying to be a buzz kill! I simply stated that I don’t think that the recapper should call Ali by that name. Someone then explained to me, that it was off of another site, and no “everyone” does it. that really is going to probably going to be her nickname through school. All it took was 1 little brat in my class to call me Patch, and it stayed until we moved to a different city. Even in my 30′s I have had coworkers make fun of me, because of my eyes…So yeah, I feel for her.

    @Madelyne, I love the picture of Ali now. I don’t think I can pull off the hot pink glasses though. I will stick to black. And those pigtails! Freaking cute. She must have gotten those gene’s from her dad, cause the other looks like her mom!! No, I don’t think that I am going to change my screenname to Patch. To many bad memories with that particular nickname!

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    Amanda
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    Oh My God… I was dying during the Goggles NonGoggles picture exchange…DYING!! LOL

    I love Chelsea I just wish she would gain some confidence. I have a feeling Adam has put her down again and again and she is just young and emotionally attached to him and has had a hard time letting go. I’m sure she ist’nt the only one to have been with someone their friends/family don’t approve of.
    I’m also hoping in regards to her orangeness, that maybe either the lighting in her place is bad so she is putting on this tanner and doesn’t realize how orange it is or the lighting from the show makes it look worse than what it is in real life. I mean these girls don’t have makeup artists doing their makeup before the cameras come and they don’t know all the tricks and lighting and stuff cause who would choose to be that shade of cheeto. I’m so glad she is going back to brunette by the way she looks so much better with it.

    Aubree is adorable.

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    LadyStardust
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 6:28 pm

    I agree that Chelsea looks much better as a brunette (although brushing her hair and cutting it decently would probably help even more). Why do so many of these girls go the platinum blonde route once they start getting a little bit famous? That color looks good on very few people. Leah, Chelsea, and even Maci (from Teen Mom 1) all went super blonde and it looked awful.

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    amandalee27
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Loved the recap. The screen shots were awesome. Am I the only Southerner on here?? Those were grits Gary was eating, not mashed potatoes

45. 45
    Ashley24
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    Whatever is wrong with Goggles has a name. Many doctors are not that proactive in finding out what exactly is wrong. Leah said in the 1st epi of this season that she doesn’t have a diagnosis yet. If I were Leah that would be my number one priority instead of which man is more into me today and getting knocked up again.

46. 46
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    I’m trying to figure out why Leah has gone from cute to downright butt-ugly….is it her eyebrows??? The braces don’t help, but people can still look cute in braces. Ali looks just like Her dad IMO.

    Chelsea, who I have always found to be ugly, has surpassed a new level of hideousness lately. Again, not sure what is the difference from before. Someone needs to call up What Not To Wear. If they did it for Shannon Elizabeth, who looks cute in even in slumpy clothes, Chelsea could sure use it. She screams I NEED A MAKEOVER.

    Isaac has that weird mysteriously evil look like his dad. Talk about looking alike! Must be hard to have a kid that looks exactly like your ex and nothing like you.

    Re: chelsea and Aubree….my captcha is filthy dirty mess lol.

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    Valleygirl
    Posted February 28, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    @amandalee27: I was waiting for someone to say they were grits! Still doesn’t explain why he was eating them with a knife though. Even Janelle thought that was weird.

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    Madelyne27
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 5:06 am

    @amandalee27 – at least grits make more sense with a plate of bacon. i’m in the south. but florida is a different kind of south. and i love grits, but every time i make them it’s just a watery mess and i can’t eat them with a spoon, let alone a knife.

    @valleygirl – jenelle may have thought the knife was weird bc her entire life people have been hiding their knives when she’s around, so she’s never seen one.

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    rebecca pressley
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 5:59 am

    has anyone noticed that when Jenelle is getting ready to go into a rage, she closes her eyes and talks in monotone with sentences running together.
    also noticed the when Chelsea talks to someone she avoids eye contact and looks around the room.
    Why would Torie tell Jenelle about her and GAry?? doesnt Jenelle owe Torie bail money?? Ha! good luck with that!

50. 50
    yeknom
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:49 am

    @Ashley. RIGHT?!?! Leah needs to slow down on making a new family and concentrate on finding out what is going on w/goggles. She is way too lackadaisical aboud finding what is going on with her kid. The time, and money, she spent on getting herself braces could have been spent on getting a diagnosis for her kid.

    Crap like that drives me crazy. It’s like when it’s 20º out and you see a mother all bundled up w/nice coat, gloves, hat & boots while her kid’s in a stroller with just a hoodie and a blanket on his/her lap, no hat or gloves, nose running w/red cheeks. Why’s that kid not as bundled up as the mom? Makes me see red.

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    rebecca pressley
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:55 am

    I seriously thank that Leah is longing to be loved and wanted. She is a very disturbed person.
    I am so thankful that we didnt have to hear about how adam pulled his WeeWee out of Chelseas gapping hole.
    And those were Grits! I been eating grits since I was 3 month old!

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    chaosbutterfly
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    “I am so thankful that we didnt have to hear about how adam pulled his WeeWee out of Chelseas gapping hole.”

    Nooooooooooooo stop it.

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    amandalee27
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    Hail to grits! I’m Floridian too…Jacksonville…aka Southern Georgia. I never need the Honey Boo Boo subtitles.

    I’m a pediatric nurse and it drives me crazy Leah is not in hot pursuit of a diagnosis. It is comforting that Goggles seems to be developmentally on track socially and verbally. Remember when Leah cared so much she was pissed Cory dared go to work during doctor’s appts? I guess she quickly realized that the healthcare team wanted to focus only on Goggles and not her mom, so she got out fast.

    Chelsea should pursue a diagnosis for her mom. She has a 12 year old’s brain and style in a 55 year old’s body. Bizarre.

    I want to like Kail and I know she had a shitty childhood, but she can be such a bitch. I have no doubt Janet would cut a bitch and bury her body in her McMansion’s garden if she tries to cut them off from Isaac.

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    crankyguy
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    The sidebar with “grits” caught my eye since we had a comment war about a year ago on the Top Chef thread about the proper way to prepare and eat grits. Good times.

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    kthxbai
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    I think it was just their editing. In USA south grits is usually a side dish. He probably ordered bacon and eggs. And got asked if he wanted hash browns or grits. But all that part got cut out. So it sounded like he just ordered grits. And then he’s eating a plate of bacon.

    It’s not like ordering grits automatically gets you a mess of bacon too.

    (A lot of places people call grits polenta. Near about every town, tribe etc in Africa’s got their own special name for it).

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    KimDragon
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    I agree with the BIZARRE color of foundation that Chelsea applies– I just don’t get it? Usually she’s orange, but this episode her makeup was this odd yellow-sickly orange that I agree with an above commentator- made her look jaundiced.
    I am no makeup artist but I think I how to match my skin with foundation, and if I want to appear \tanner\ (haha that makes me think of Full House) I use a bronzer! I feel like her natural skin color is probably fine! then she slathers on this weird yellow stuff .. I know its yellow and not green but for some reason it reminded me of the Wicked Witch of the West and her green skin.

    In other Chelsea-is-bricks news, supposedly Adam knocked up another one of his exes, and he’s also potentially heading to the slammer as he has received 3 DUIS in the past year. Stay classy Houska.
    The last episode where Adam was yakking it up (oh no that was me, watching him) with his \friends\ at a bar, and it was noted each guy had a pitcher of beer and there was no DD… clearly that was no isolated incident!

    The Kailyn storyline was soo frustrating, as I do think she has the best moral compass out of all the moms, but she’s also the most grating to me to watch, I actually find the other girls more watcheable, even Jenelle, Kailyn is so blahhhh and oatmealy and woe-is-me… she’s like Eeyore.
    Clearly she didn’t want Vee around from jealousy and ONLY JEALOUSY, she probably did initiate physical contact because you KNOW if Joe (oh, sorry \Jo\) had actually attacked her first, she would have totally pressed assault charges and stuck to her guns.
    But her hemming and hawwing backpedaling makes it clear to me that she flew at him, he probably pushed her away or something and she thought \yesss! I have something I can use over him to get revenge for having this \girlfriend\ and this \happy family\ that I don’t have\
    her annoyance that his family accompanied him to court only proved this, she was frustrated he has other people to help him through situations and she only has a rotating crew of chubby black gay guys and cute latina girls posing as friends to talk to.
    I find Jo so strange looking, it’s like his face got dented during childbirth or something. He looks so much like a duck to me. And Isaac is like a mini-duck.

    I love Silent Barb, and I see her infinite wisdom spanning generations… in my head she talks like Synergy the computer from Jem and the Holograms, but that’s just My 80s Childhood tallking.

    I too noticed the bizarre editing during the Janelle/Gary-but-not-the-Gary-we-want meal scene… She ordered “Grilled chicken” and got quesadillas so I’m sure they were just trying to cut out the useless stuff while leaving us with the fascinating stuff of Gary eating with his knife and Janelle noticing his eating with his knife and laughing about him eating with his knife and everyone laughing about him eating with his-.. in other news, hes now in rehab. (true story)

    I know I wrote a novel but I have a half day at work and I love these recaps sooo much!

    I love you goggles!

    I love you Goggles!

57. 57
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    I think Chelsea goes to the Michael Kors memorial tanning salon, but she has out-oranged him. Her skin color reminds me of those nasty orange marshmallow peanut candies.

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    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    All this talk about food has made me hungry. Can I get an order of cheese grits to go?

59. 59
    lindaw205
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    Cheese grits are my go to comfort food. Yummy!

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    Madelyne27
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 5:17 am

    Just to clarify. On December 5, 2012, @tlondon came up with the names Goggles and Non Goggles. Before that I called them Syndrome and Non Symdrome. See who far I’ve come?

    Thanks again @tlondon.

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    Madelyne27
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 5:18 am

    How. Not who. It’s early and I haven’t had my grits.

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    Melanie
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Anyone else think that they were re-creating the scene where Chelsea was wearing the towel on her head from taking a shower? Her hair is clearly brown and her makeup is still caked on, so I’m thinking they made up the scene. Remember when they had the girls wearing wigs last season?
    Also, when Kailyn was getting her hair done by her friend-of-the-day, it started up, then down, then up. That was clearly a mashed up scene. Nice try, producers.

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    Classy Drunk
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 10:24 am

    I eat grits by themselves too…Just depends on my mood.

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    JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Yeah, I lived in Kentucky and often see grits as a main item on menus. But maybe Kentucky isn’t considered true south.

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    chaosbutterfly
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Kail only has one chubby black gay friend and his name is Mark and he is the greatest Megan of all time. Gigi is not a friend of the day, she’s also a fabulous Megan.
    Say what you want about Kail, but she has some good ass Megans.

    Leah’s friend Kayla is also a magnificent, downright saintly Megan because she has really gone through it all with Leah and has never gotten in a word about her edgewise about her own life or problems.
    I hope they’re paying her well.

    Jenelle has the worst luck with Megans.
    Most of her’s run away, get kicked out of her house, or they fuck her boyfriend. Or all three.
    I’m sure at this point, the producers are just picking up random Megans in the street for her to talk to.
    Poor thing.

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    considerthis
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    @Chaos very well said!

    There are the Grammy’s, Oscar’s & Emmy’s. TV Gasm should have the Megan’s and you have made excellent cases for Mark & Kayla to be considered as nominees.

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    PinkTop
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    considerthis – lol @ The Megans. Mark & Kayla would make out like bandits.

    They should outsource Mark to pull double duty at Corey’s. His daddy/brother/son just ain’t cutting it. Corey needs to spice things up before I fall asleep, and Mark might just be the right Megan for the job. I can just picture Corey picking up Goggs & Non while sporting some neon shades and pink camouflage.

68. 68
    S-Natch
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    @Melanie – I agree about the re-creates, but you would think MTV would be a little more clever. They expect us to believe Chelsea actually TOOK a shower – preposterous!

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    SarahRita
    Posted March 3, 2013 at 9:53 am

    I am not even half way through the first page and I already have to note that Chelsea’s face matches her car. I remember when I was 16 and discovered the power of bronzer, I used it way, way too much and as soon as my mom saw my face as I was about to go to school she made me turn around and wash it off. It was harsh to hear, but necessary because my mother was not going to have me going out look like a fool. Also, it irks me so much that this girl has two cars. I am 24 going on 25, work two jobs and in Graduate school trying to save up for a new (used) car, and here is a girl who cannot bathe her child, or pick up clothes on her floor and she just has two perfectly good cars just sitting in her garage. Argh…

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    kthxbai
    Posted March 3, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    @Pippin I am still convinced Chelsea uses Cheetos dust as foundation I LOLed and nodded my head so hard when I read that!

    Once she turns into a beauty school dropout maybe she’ll start a makeup line. With different shades like Chipotle Dorito and Baked Cheez-it and Kors-Whiz.

    @Melanie I think they all do dramatic reenactments. And retakes.

    @chaosbutterfly Kail’s also got another Megan named Mark. I don’t remember what he looks like. But I totally cosign her regular Mark Megan for Greatest of all time Megan lifetime achievement award.

    @SarahRita I bet Chelsea leaves stains on people’s furniture like Hoof on RHBH.

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    rebecca pressley
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    I did something so BAD! I called the dental office that Randy owns and i asked to speak to Cheasea! The lady that answered the phone SCREAMED at me and she said “This is a business. DO NOT ever call her again and ask for chelsea, she does NOT work here”!!!

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    annie
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    @rebecca… That is the funniest thing Ive read in a long time!!! Haaahaaaa

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    rebecca pressley
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 12:34 am

    Annie, I could tell by the recepstinst tone that I wasnt the first person that has called there and asked for Chelsea! She scared me!!

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    rebecca pressley
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 1:40 am

    amandalee27, I am a peds nurse also!
    Gary wasnt really eating grits with a knife, he had got the butter out of the pack with the knife, stired the butter into the grits with the knife and then ate the grits that were stuck to the knife.

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    Sara
    Posted March 6, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    Anybody else realize that when Chelsea and Adam were texting about Adam coming over to visit Aubree the date stamp was March 12, but when she checked facebook minutes later and saw that he was going to a movie and not to bed the date stamp on that post was march 5?