Teen Mom 2 Recap: If The GED Is Rockin’, Don’t Come Knockin’

30 Comments

1. 1
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted December 12, 2012 at 3:40 pm

   As soon as these Teen Moms break up with their baby daddies and stop getting beat regularly, they get uppity.

   Then they get B-Daddy back, and they’re impossible to be around. Even the kid is like, “Jeez, Dad, just give her a good one across the mouth, willya??”

2. 2
   begonia skies
   Posted December 12, 2012 at 5:00 pm

   i loved that chelsea looked at that hideous hair of hers in the mirror and decided, yeah that looks good. you look like a friggen crack head!

3. 3
   ashley24
   Posted December 12, 2012 at 5:04 pm

   Chelsea’s dad is a dentist that’s how he affords to pay for everything. He has nice looking website about his practice…you can google him and find it. Since he has such a high level of education I wonder why he allows his daughter to be such an idiot??? They could’ve afforded daycare so Chelsea could finish HS. Now they don’t even care if she gets a GED…and beauty school? LOL!! She can’t manage to make herself or Aubree’s hair look decent. Who would allow her to fix their hair?

4. 4
   kthxbai
   Posted December 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm

   @ashley24 My guess is Randy doesn’t have any illusions about Chelsea turning out to win any Guinness Records for book smartness.

   I suspect he gives 0 fucks about her ever getting a GED compared to how much he wishes she’d kick that sorry ass sperm donor to the curb. Before his grandbaby ends up catching a bad case of the MJ Navid sickness.

   He’d probably be glad to pay 100% of all her bills for her whole life if she’d just enjoy Aubree, work her little min wage job and make her hair monsters. And 1 day marry some boy that’s dumb as a box of the monster material and her. But that loves her and the baby.

   In case anybody missed it Jenelle ended up addicted to heroin and married to some guy that also is.

   Since nobody was going to let her get any real mental health treatment they should’ve just let her have her weed.

   On the positive side Kail looks like she’s finally getting tuned up to come out of her awkward age. And turn into a pretty girl. Even though she’ll always be a pretty girl that’s either dyed orange or the color of oatmeal. Thanks @Madelyne27 for finally putting into words what I just never was able to.

5. 5
   JudgyWudgy
   Posted December 12, 2012 at 7:25 pm

   http://www.houskadental.com/about_us/Randy_Houska_DDS_info.htm

   Yikes. Did he have Chelsea write that?

   He has four daughters and several grandchildren. BAHAHA! Don’t be surprised if you see him enjoying the wind in his face on his Harley Davidson Heritage Classic also. BAHAHA x2! What?! No mention of finding him on Teen Mom 2!? Whyever not?? Appeal to your younger demographic, Rando!

6. 6
   Rach
   Posted December 12, 2012 at 9:02 pm

   Leah’s friend’s name is Kayla, not Megan.

7. 7
   tlondon
   Posted December 12, 2012 at 10:30 pm

   i know this has been mentioned here before, but are we certain that Goggles is the one with the syndrome?

   The other one(i will be damned if i can spell that name) seems far less verbal than Ali, not to mention the look in her eyes scares the hell out of me. I have a thing for Chubby Bunny babies and I just want to roll Goggles up in a pita and eat her up.

   As much as it hurts to admit this, the slip&slide scenes kind of got to me. Jace was so damn cute and Janelle was surprisingly sweet with him. I caught myself smiling at the tv, ffs!

   Lastly-Isaac’s head totally IS shaped like a moonpie! Loved that line! Excellent recap as always!

8. 8
   kthxbai
   Posted December 13, 2012 at 12:27 am

   @Rach It’s an ancient Tvgasm tradition that all the friends of reality show cast member’s names are named Megan.

   Back when the tradition 1st got discovered there were some conspiracy theories that maybe it was like a proto generic. From when early TV viewer tribes in cave days used to believe that trying to keep a lot of names straight was caused by evil spirits.

   But then 1 day some Tvgasm marine biologists were doing experiments to find out if there were any string theories connecting sushi fossils to the DNA of people that had been extras on The Hills. (Which they never did prove 1 way or the other) But they did find out that all reality show friends have got a gene particle in common that causes their molecular name to be Megan.

9. 9
   rebecca pressley
   Posted December 13, 2012 at 4:26 am

   I was laughing so hard with this re-cap! hillarious! Is it just me, or does Leah sometimes has braces on her teeth and sometimes she doesnt??? I did notice Kail’s new tan , I was like ‘where did that come from”. And Chelsea……that girl is just plain dumb.

10. 10
    Madelyne27
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 4:44 am

    Thanks all… i’m officially addicted to Dr. Houska’s website. And i quote “He is actively involved the community.” I think a word is missing… something heady like the word “IN”.

    That little gem was followed up with “He is presently serving as a board member on the Vermillion Chamber and Development Company and has been past president of Rotary, United Way of Vermillion, Knights of Columbus, St. Agnes School Board and having been on numerous local committees.” If you read it slowly, you’ll realize that @judgy is probs correct that Chelsea wrote this. I would blame Aubree, but i think she would have done a better job.

    The Smile Gallery is probably better not viewed during mealtime. http://www.houskadental.com/smile_gallery/

    And my fav is that the Testimonial Page is blank… Good stuff, Dr. Houska, good stuff.

    @rebecca… i know that Leah had clear braces on during an After the Show interview… and I occasionally think i see them too. I’m gonna tell myself Dr. Houska hooked her up.

    Why didn’t I know Jenelle had a sister? It was in media this week that Barb threw her sister out of the house.

11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 6:29 am

    Jenelle has a sister??? That means Jace has an aunt!!!! He is such a little love that I want him to have some family–I know sis was kicked out of the house but still….. And I have to get caught up on Jenelle’s off-camera life. Sounds like she and Lohan are on board the same train.

    Is Chelsea learning disabled????? Did we ever delve into that??? Jenelle with all her issues is in college and from I gather is pretty intelligent. Chels current claim to fame is a real inability to match hair color—-I can recommend Feria #58– a nice warm brown-red. I have coupons for ULTA Chelsea so come with-my treat!!!

    Kail–oh kiddo—I love Squishy baby-he is so beautiful. But you need to realize that you can stand alone—-you suffer from severe Leah-I needs me amns to complete myself—dont fall into that trap. Jo is kind of worthless—a mama’s boy ( and his mom is very cool) who fancies himself a rappa-playa
    (just holster the gun cowboy, capische????)

    Leah– when does she drop out?? Have we started the pool yet ??? And dating your ex-husbands friend???? Come now.

12. 12
    considerthis
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 7:50 am

    So you are telling me that Barb was banged twice in her life – WOW go Barb!

    Need to start an e-mailing campiagn to MTV regarding the time line and continuity of the show as in there is NONE. Kail starts the \break up\ process with the missing link in her car sporting a parka with barren trees blowing in the frosty air behind her only to continue the conversation with a tan and tank top. Either this conversation went on for 6 months or it is staged/messed up. This isn’t the first time these storylines jump all over the calendar. Can’t figure out why it is so hard to just keep a timeline? Karma’s a bitch Kail and would have loved it if Jordan would have pulled a Ross Gellar and said to her \We were on a break\.

    The Everybody MUST love Leah campaign is in full swing (Yuk). The MTV PR dept and producers are already laying the groundwork for her dropping out as in I miss my babies etc etc. I agree a pool should start and I guess immediately after her first mid terms that she bombs she is outta there, Hey Kayla/Megan – Lucasfilms called and they are hellapissed and want you to return the Chewbacca headpiece ASAP or face criminal charges. How could you even have a conversation with her in the thing and keep a straight face!?!

    I think Farrah’s dog Stich finally escaped, changed his name to Frankie and took the underground dog railroad north and ended up in Vermillion SD where dammit it to hell he was snatched up by another needy dingbat incapable of raising dog or child. He needs to push further north to Canada. Godspeed Stich/Frankie.
    Oh yeah and Adam has total meth teeth and does his tatooist.

    Was touched and misty with Janelle and Jace – very uncomfortable having those feelings while she was on my screen. GREAT JOB as always Mad and your speed to posting is always appreciated!

13. 13
    melli
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Jenelle has an older brother as well. Barb has 3 children. She was married to her children’s father until Jenelle turned 12. Then they got a divorce, Barb got full custody of all her children, and moved them all to North Carolina away from their father (Jenelle is originally from Kail’s home state of Pennsylvania).

    Both of Barb’s other kids don’t seem like their that much better off then Jenelle. When teen mom 2 first premiered Jenelle’s older brother was living in a half way house (just like Butch!) He’s been arrested before (Barb even called the cops on him) and he’s been to rehab for drug addiction. Jenelle’s sister moved to California. She’s been described as emotionally unstable and is also noted for having screaming matches with Barb. Jenelle posted a video on youtube a while ago when she was fighting with her sister of her sister screaming at her toddler son to stop crying. It seems the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree with all of Barb’s kids.

    Okay, I need to know. Why does everyone think Jenelle’s super intelligent? I just don’t see it. She can’t even buy age appropriate gifts. For Jace’s 1st birthday she bought him a jeep or car to ride (like Chelsea bought for Aubrey’s 2nd b-day) and he couldn’t figure out how to drive it or what he was supposed to do with it and Jenelle said that maybe he was too young for it (duh). This year she bought him a slip n slide which he again couldn’t really get the concept of. A slip n slide is a gift for a 4 or 5 year old. Not a 2 year old.
    Maybe I’m biased because I used to be a Straight A honor student so I’ve known kids who were super intelligent. One of my good friends got accepted into Yale and Harvard but chose to go to Yale. Jenelle seems like she has average intelligence. But I don’t think she’s anything special. I’m sure that in comparison to her cast-mates of Chelsea and Leah, Jenelle probably looks like a rocket scientist but I think Kail is probably smarter.

14. 14
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    If Kailyn and Forrest Gump opened up a box of chocolates, Forrest would figure out how to read the flavor/filling recognition guide on the inside of the box cover first, and Kailyn would get stuck eating all the orange creams…

15. 15
    Madelyne27
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    @considerthis – i totally agree on the timeline thing… i didn’t catch yours, but i was bugged in the scene where kailyn was at restaurant being stood up by Jordan, and her phone charger would be plugged in, and then it wouldn’t be… yours was much more glaring, which makes it sad that i didn’t notice it after watching the episode 5 times… but my hubby is always amazed bc i watch shows and have to rewind bc something is off… CSI: Miami was awful… they’d have a mole on different sides of a girls face… they’d have shoes off, then on… and DRINKS are my nightmare, bc no show seems to realize that drinks should ALWAYS be the same… and NO ONE drinks soda without ice. best movie with continuation flaws is Swingers… it’s old… but awesome. but the answering machine moves on its own. phew…

    @melli – thank you for all the jenelle info… i needed that… and in response to the intelligence thing… i just think that school work probably came easy to jenelle. i’m not sure if it’s bc i remember it from 16 & Prego or just something i made up… but she never seemed to have trouble with school. i think kailyn is smart, but more in that she really applies herself and works hard… which is more admirable than jenelle’s talent… but i don’t think jenelle is smart in the worldly ways, outside of how something effects her… (plus, the ed hardy sht makes her an idiot)… but my experience is that sociopathic type people are typically smart at something… even her letter to her PO was fairly well-written… but i could be wrong… i just don’t think she’s intellectually challenged and i think if she could refocus herself, she’d find a career path in which she would excel. (Notice how i didn’t end the sentence in a preposition?)

    and as always, i can’t tell you all how thankful i am to have you read my recaps. being a “writer” has always been my goal… but after getting prego my sophomore year of college, i chose a life of jobs that paid the bills… and now i have a daughter that is a junior in college and i married a man that can put up with my tv shenanigans and loves my daughter… and i found a place to “write”… you guys are my “dream job”… minus the paycheck… (but i get to work in my pjs and judge others…. which is what i always knew God intended for me.)

16. 16
    Madelyne27
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    @notwithoutmytv – hahahah…. and btw, my friend and i have this 10 year running joke about “not without my daughter”. Sally Fields rocked that.

17. 17
    Classy Drunk
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    You’re right Madelyn…in her 16 and Pregnant it was mentioned that she made really good grades. Maci also. So it’s really upsetting that neither girl can finish college.

18. 18
    melli
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    @notwithoutmytv- Hahahaha…….I know people don’t think much of kail but she is going to school to be a dentist just like Randy, so………….but on the other hand we’ve all seen Randy’s “website” which on some level is representation of his professional work so……………

19. 19
    Urfavegirl@gmail.com
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Poor Jace had the most depressing birthday party I’ve ever seen. Who doesn’t wrap birthday gifts for a toddler?

20. 20
    kthxbai
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    @Madelyne27 You’re a writer whether somebody gives you $ for it or not. Born that way like the Lady GaGa song. To where you’d still be stuck being 1 even if you didn’t write anything. FWIW you’re a way better writer than lots of people that get a shitload of $.

21. 21
    Madelyne27
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    dear readers… as i have said, i don’t have a book… but i do have a chapter…. http://www.facebook.com/notes/mindi-tosh-giordano/my-sister/394447087088

22. 22
    annie
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    How fuckin’ “Grey Gardens” does Chelsea look in those pics (on the couch, on the couch with the glasses, and laying in bed with the dog). She is a MESS. Not even a hot mess…..complete mess. She says she wants to be a hairdresser, I have never seen a hairdresser look as unkempt as she does….even at home, off the job. I wanna say he might be clinically depressed, but I think she’s just severely clinically lazy.

    Well we all know how Leah and Jeremy turn out. Is it just me, or is there some thing weird about a dude moving in so quickly on a 20 year old divorcee with twins? Does Leah’s vag have magical Siren powers we dont know about?

23. 23
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    “Does Leah’s vag have magical Siren powers we dont know about?”

    Yeah, and only semi-skilled laborers who drive monster trucks can hear it. But they can hear it from trailer parks two states away.

    It sounds like desperation. And every song by Journey.

24. 24
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    During the depressing montage, Kathy was tickling Ali’s feet with a toothbrush.
    I laughed because Ali is so stinking cute and chubby and seemed to enjoy the tickling, but seriously, who’s toothbrush was that?

    Jenelle bought that slip n slide for her own amusement.
    Jace was secondary to that, just like he always is.
    And it was so sad how they kept talking about how no one cared about Jace’s birthday right in front of his adorable little face. They couldn’t have sent invitations to his daycare?
    Gone out and rounded up some random kids at a local playground?
    Hell, invite the kids from the nearest orphanage!
    Moses was born in the middle of a giant baby massacre and still had a better birthday than that; he got to go on a river ride and meet a princess.
    Get it together, Evanses.

    Chelsea just needs to get off my tv screen because I can’t with her and her learned helplessness.
    She is so fucking stupid, and I’m afraid for Aubrey, since you can tell that Chelsea is gonna be one of those moms who doesn’t understand the boundary between daughters and friends.

    I don’t think Jeremy is Corey’s friend. I think at best they are acquaintances or have a mutual friend, because during the date, Jeremy said that he went to some steakhouse with Corey and that was the extent of the relationship. Plus, in the next episode, Corey seems to be saying that he wants to meet Jeremy. Maybe when Leah called him Corey’s “friend” that first time, she meant Facebook friend.
    The flowers were so cute too…I was smiling at how giddy she was.
    But yeah, she needs to calm it down a notch.
    When she asked him if it was hard to have a family with his job travel, I wanted to slap her. She definitely does not understand the meaning of being subtle or taking it slow.

    Leah is also very pretty and has a great bod, so maybe that’s what is bringing Jeremy to the yard.
    Because it is a little odd that he was so quick to jump on her, with everything that she has going on.
    Plus, she did cheat on her last husband the day before the wedding, which you would think would give a potential suitor pause.
    But maybe guys in that area are just into the insta-family thing. She only dated Corey for two weeks (I think) before getting pregnant by him, and he just slipped right into the supportive baby-daddy and later husband role.
    Most dudes would have run the fuck away.

25. 25
    yeknom
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 11:53 am

    “Are you sure I am pretty?” and “This pic should be called Three Dog Night.” Made me spit out my Pepsi! For someone that has a pretty easy life, Chelsea sure wants to look like she’s been chewed up and spit out by life. I imagine her home smells like a combination of Cheetos, tanning lotion and Love’s Baby Soft.

    @Urfavegirl… I thought the same thing about Jace’s bday. It was the saddest birthday party I’ve ever seen. I’m sure no one wanted to be there because of how horrible Barb and Jenelle are, which is really sad for Jace because he is a doll! The least they could do is wrap the gifts!

    Kail, that poor girl. She has no idea how to be by herself. If she gave herself a chance to be single and not so worried about what she thinks her life is lacking, she’d see that she is really doing a great job at being a young, single mom. How much she loves her kid is adorable.

    Who’d I miss? Oh Leah. “Does Leah’s vag have magical Siren powers we dont know about?” LMFAO! That’s got to be what it is, ’cause like Chaos pointed out….most guys would’ve run the F away.

    These girls all need someone to shake them and let them know that being single isn’t the end of the world. Saddling yourself with just anyone who comes along so you have a penis to snuggle up to every night is way worst than being by yourself.

26. 26
    Classy Drunk
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    FYI…msn reports that Leah is expecting her third child with her husband Jeremy.

27. 27
    Classy Drunk
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    “Does Leah’s vag have magical Siren powers we dont know about?”

    I think it’s the equivalent to Sookie snatch. Which was one of the greatest lines on True Blood EVA.

28. 28
    sarcasatire
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    I thought you said Snooki snatch. Her queefs must smell like Southern Comfort.

29. 29
    boobear
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    These f*cking girls are unreal! What is wrong with them?

    Leah honestly thinks that Corey is a catch? Really dummy? Take a look at the guy. Same ragged hat and big chew stuffed in his lip every damn episode. Hes the only character that always has a constant word caption at the bottom of thescreen while he talks cause he speaks like a person whos having a stroke. He does not care about her. He will never get over the fact she cheated. He only wants what he cant have when he cant have it. She on theother hand jumps lilly pads ever episode like a frog in heat. Slow down youg ladybefore you end up with more kids and NO husband/boyfriend.

    Kail is a obsessive nut case. She needsto learn to deal with the fact that Jo will date whomever he pleases and she nor the courts will stop that. Not to mention its ok for her to have her guy move in with her but yet Jos gf cant even bearound her sonwhile hes with Jo? Enough is enough control freak. Your only going to make things worse in the long run.

    Jenelle is a very insecure girl who cannot own up to her own mistakes and short comings. Stop being so selfish and spend some god damn time witb your son! Your not addicted to weed your just really really stupid. Life is hard Jenelle. Deal with it. Try doing something with yourself other than yellig at your mom, dati,g losers, getting arrested, etc. How about working? I heard that its prett common in the real world when your a parent.

    Chelsea. Ohhhhh Chelsea. Big giant baby. Complete with baby talk, tantrums, and no clue how to take care of herself. Her dad pays for everything for her. She has no worries accept to complete a 1yr program for hairdressers and be a mom and all she ever does is bitch that she is so stressed out. She has NO concept of how the real world works and is simply a daddys girl whining and crying when the slightest obstacle comes her way. Her ex Adam is a total piece of shit and its pathetic how she pines over this dead beat dad. If i was her friends i would have slapped the shit out of her 2yrs ago and never talked to her again. And now she wants daddy to pay for her to move away cause life in her town is just to hard. Get f*ckig reall. Grow up. And stop even pretending like you know how to do hair.

30. 30
    boobear
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    These f*cking girls are unreal! What is wrong with them?

    Leah honestly thinks that Corey is a catch? Really dummy? Take a look at the guy. Same ragged hat and big chew stuffed in his lip every damn episode. Hes the only character that always has a constant word caption at the bottom of the screen while he talks cause he speaks like a person whos having a stroke. He does not care about her. He will never get over the fact she cheated. He only wants what he cant have when he cant have it. She on the other hand jumps lilly pads ever episode like a frog in heat. Slow down young lady before you end up with more kids and NO husband/boyfriend.

    Kail is a obsessive nut case. She needs to learn to deal with the fact that Jo will date whomever he pleases and she nor the courts will stop that. Not to mention its ok for her to have her guy move in with her but yet Jos gf cant even be around her son while hes with Jo? Enough is enough control freak. Your only going to make things worse in long run.

    Jenelle is a very insecure girl who cannot own up to her own mistakes and short comings. Stop being so selfish and spend some god damn time with your son! Your not addicted to weed your just really really stupid.
    Life is hard Jenelle. Deal with it. Try doing something with yourself other than yelling at your mom, dating losers, getting arrested, etc. How about working? I heard that its pretty common in the real world when your a parent.

    Chelsea. Ohhhhh Chelsea. Big giant baby. Complete with baby talk, tantrums, and no clue how to take care of herself. Her dad pays for everything for her. She has no worries accept to complete a 1yr program for hairdressers and be a mom and all she ever does is bitch that she is so stressed out. She has NO concept of how the real world works and is simply a daddys girl whining and crying when the slightest obstacle comes her way. Her ex Adam is a total piece of shit and its pathetic how she pines over this dead beat dad. If i was her friends i would have slapped the shit out of her 2yrs ago and never talked to her again. And now she wants daddy to pay for her to move away cause life in her town is just to hard. Get f*ckig real. Grow up. And stop even pretending like you know how to do hair.