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Monday, December 3, 2012
8:33 am
32 Comments
This episode I’m recapping it by mom, instead of by scene… just to see which I (we) like better. Let me know…
Chelsea is going to take more GED practice tests next week, but this week she has to focus on Aubree’s birthday party and sneaking out to watch Adam ride a toy. Her dad is babysitting, and she’s hoping he doesn’t find out where she’s going… or that Adam is living with her.
Now that I’m practically engaged, I need to step up my game.
I just want a bath. I hear they’re fun.
Chelsea puts the finishing touches on her hair and her friend, thankfully, does Aubree’s hair. Her dad arrives and the girls leave quickly. Randy sticks around to do a little recon at the house… Yep, sure enough, he finds all of Adam’s things and he calls Chelsea. Chelsea is all pissed off that her dad went through her house and says Adam is just working on a few things in her garage. Yeah, um, Chelsea, you’re lying. We all know it.
But dad, we’re almost married. You can’t destroy love.
They get to Adam’s 4-wheeler race and he doesn’t seemed too thrilled to see Chelsea, but she remains clueless to his lack of love for her. He gets up and leaves and goes and rides his 4-wheeler and Chelsea is excited and thinks he’s super cute.
I don’t get why Randy’s worried.
Livin’ the dream.
Chelsea is upset because Adam and her dad, Randy got into a fight and Randy sat and watched while he made Adam pack up and move back out of Chelsea’s house. So Adam is now avoiding Chelsea and she says the timing couldn’t be worse because she needs him around to help plan Aubree’s birthday party. Plus, it’s sad because he just gave her a promise ring and said he would try harder. Who saw this coming? Adam is an enigma. Not really. He’s predictable.
Can someone check and see if I have lice?
Chelsea has invited over two of her friends and their two babies. (This is the first glimpse tonight of the teen mom epidemic in her town.) Aubree is walking around looking like a hot mess, and at one point, Chelsea makes her dance and Aubree does the Jersey Turnpike. Yikes! I was proud when my daughter could clap her hands more than once. Chelsea tells her friends that she’s getting Aubree a Jeepy in her baby voice… ugh!
It’s called birth control, try it.
32 Comments
Watching Jace yearn for his mother’s attention really does break my heart. I have two baby boys, 3 and 1 yr old and I feel like trash when I have to pay more attention to one over the other. Jenelle may never realize the beauty of parenting because she’s never parented ever. Barbara may be hellacious, but at least she loves the shit out of that little boy, and she’s all he knows in terms of consistency. It’ll be a sad day when Barbara passes and that poor child gets stuck with his crazy mother.
And seriously!?! It’s fucking WEED, the only addiction is in her head. She’s a nutter, that one!
I never noticed what a hot mess Aubree was before you started pointing it out. Poor kid. I think she has potential to be cute but I guess by the time Chelsea gets done caking on the makeup and doing that thing with her hair, there is no time for Aubree.
Your captions are amazing!
Oh Janelle. As I said to my co-worker, at least if she was addicted to a respectable drug like meth or coke I might be able to have some sympathy…BUT IT’S WEED. And it’s KESHA. I don’t blame Barb for not bailing her out though jail doesn’t seem to be the wake up call Janelle needs. In real life, I just read she broke off one engagement only to get engaged to another guy two months later. Those MTV checks must be pretty sweet for her to have the men lined up on her doorstep like that.
Madelyne – funniest recap thus far! I agree with mere, your recaps had me dying!
Also, I vote for recaps by mom. Their antics are even better recapped straight through rather than spliced in with one another.
@Madelyne27: Great job!! You made me laugh a lot, which is hard to do watching this show.
I used to watch TM2 (TM1 is my favorite of course) but I cannot do it. Even the recaps are extremely difficult because the way Janelle is with Jace and how she walks out when her son really wants her to stay kills me. She would rather choose weed or Keiffer (when they were together) over her own kid. I am not a perfect mother but I could never do that to my son. It makes my heart ache for him. I pray that Jace winds up being normal through all of this.
Great recap again! (Does anyone else think Janelle looks like Kristen “I hate being in the acting industry and blame everyone who got me into acting but I have no interest in getting out” Stewart? It drives me nuts that she does because I cannot STAND Kristen Stewart. People would kill for her life and money but all she has is resentment. She also sucks as an actress and has only that pissed off face. No wonder she was the perfect choice for Bella.)
Sorry about my rant but I don’t like Janelle or Kristen. Seeing Janelle reminds me of her and it makes me want to vomit more than when I watch Theresa Giudice trying to seduce Juicy Joe.
/end rant.
I agree that Aubree’s not so cute. She looks like her dad which is an unfortunate thing but maybe she’ll grow up pretty. Her mother has the potential to be decent looking but she is just sooo trashy its distracting. Her skin is orange, her hair is a very unnatural blonde and teased to hell and her makeup is a nightmare. If she took a bath and washed all that crap off she’d be ok.
I don’t think I have words for Jenelle. She’s almost like a cartoon villain in the way that she has absolutely no redeeming qualities. Even villains in movies are usually dynamic enough that you can understand how they got that way (like Heath Ledger’s joker), but I cannot relate to Jenelle in ANY way. She just seems determined to continue fucking up, which would be bad enough if it were just her but she has an adorable son who she seems content to never see again if it came to that.
I’m pretty sure the only reason Jenelle even puts up a weak front of wanting to parent at all is because people would judge her so badly if she admitted she doesn’t care about her son. I hope Barbara continues with the tough love. Minus the love part.
Janelle treats Jace like her younger brother that she is jealous of because she’s no longer the youngest child.
Kail makes sense but I wonder how Jordan is going to feel about the relationship being rekindled because Jo doesn’t want to be with Kail. I have no problem with Jo’s parents taking care of Issac when he’s with him, but I do have issues with him being drunk when he supposed to be taking care of his son.
Leah…GET OVER THE TRUCK! Seriously! I mean he has it now. No need to keep harping on it especially since YOU filed for divorce.
Chelsea…smh.
Question: Is it known for a fact that when Janelle failed her drug test weed actually is the only thing that came up? I can’t help but wonder whether she’s actually addicted to something else, and weed is just the cover for it, because it just doesn’t make any sense that she could be that hopeless over marijuana.
I don’t watch this show , but I love your recaps!!!
Slo-Jo is TM2 version of Ryan from TM1 – coddled by his parents and “plays” daddy when he feels like it. While I agree that any dad who was irresponsible enough to knock somebody up and fortunate enough to still be sponging off their parent’s in their twenties deserves a nite off every now and then – you know that is not the case. Both Ryan and Jo get all the “time off” they want and only step up when the cameras are rollin.
Just got off the ABA (American Bar Association) website where I nominated Janelle’s attorney for 2012 lawyer of the year. ANYBODY who could sit thru the Ke$ha rant and maintain a straight face & professionalism has to best the best in the biz! When Janelle issued parenting advice to her son to tell Grandma to SHUT UP – I literally growled at my TV as I wanted to kick her ass. You neglect and run from this kid every opportunity you get and the one time you pay attention to him is to coach him to be a disrespectful little shit (like you) to the only person on earth who gives a damn about him. Get the fuck off my TV.
@cloudsinmycoffee – I agree that Barbara loves Jace and hopefully she doesn’t ever start screaming at him like that… at least until his first misdemeanor.
@mere2142 – maybe weed makes ke$ha better… but i do like her song “party at a rich dude’s house”.
@lavlaw – thank you and i think i like it by mom too… plus it allows me to drag everyone to the end to read about jenelle.
@Parisi LaRoe – I can’t stand kristen either… and she does look like her sometimes… jenelle has many looks. (high, sober, hung over, annoyed)… kinda the same as kristen. and you didn’t like the guidice love scene in the vineyard?
@laurenb52 – i think aubree looks like the grandma… like a downs syndrome face… (yeah, i supposed i have a syndrome fetish.)
@Classy Drunk – do you think Jenelle suffers from narcissistic personality disorder? i don’t think she’s a sociopath… bc she seems to feel guilt (when she’s caught)… but she doesn’t seem to be able to ever see that she’s wrong. bipolar is one thing… but she’s gotta have something more… those aren’t cycles, she seems to believe it’s the world’s fault.
@Siobhan – i wondered that too… and sadly i don’t have many meth or coke addict friends… but she seems “put together” most of the time. her hair and teeth are clean (and attached)… but on TM1 i know they kept Amber’s true addictions a secret. could all my meth head fans please help?
@POOCHIE – thank you… i love doing them.
@considerthis – there is another TM2 recapper (i refuse to give more details out of jealousy) who is actually friends with that attorney… i am thinking about moving to NC, committing some crime and hiring him, just to get the scoop.
Thanks for all the comments. I love them while I sit here, kind of working, and watching Breaking Bad (i’m learning how to make meth for the teen moms).
I’m so glad you’re recapping this train wreck of a show. They all leave me SMH! I like the by Mom format much better!!
@Madelyne27, I don’t think she has a disorder at all. I think that she is a selfish brat who thinks the world owes HER something. She blames her poor decisions on weed when really it’s her lack of will power and motivation.
Poor Dustin. For the rest of his life, his friends and relatives are going to tease him about that conversation whenever they want to do something and he balks. “No no no no, you don’t understand. I have to…to go…to go to (blank)…. I am just obsessed with (blank). That’s why I got all the feathers in my hair!”
They do have NA for people who only smoke weed, like they do for those who primarily did cocaine and felt they were too high brow to slum around with the ‘regular’ addicts in NA in the eighties and nineties. You know, the rich yuppies who felt that their cocaine addiction was a cut above, a more genteel addiction. Can’t mix it up with junkies and crackheads now can we? Anyway, there’s groups primarily for weed. Jenelle should look that up. It doesn’t matter that it’s ‘just weed’ though, it’s not the physical addiction that messes you up, it’s the psychological addiction. I don’t think weed will actually change your brain like other drugs will, but you can become psychologically dependent on it as with anything else that is mood altering. But that’s not Jenelle’s main problem. She has a serious psychological problem underlying that. You can take her off weed all day long and she’s going to still be messed up under all that. She’s self-medicating. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see her ignore Jace though. She just walks out on him all the time while he cries for her and she can’t even hear him. Horrible.
I am not a psychologist, but I’ve had personal experience with loved ones struggling with addiction and mental illness. I think that Janelle is a classic Axis II, Cluster B, probably borderline personality disorder. Maladaptive coping mechanisms (weed), chaos in interpersonal relationships (Barb), black or white thinking (getting engaged/unengaged/engaged to another very quickly) and impulsive behavior (her whole life). Unlike bipolar disorder, which can be treated with psychoactive medication, the only treatment for borderline is retraining thought patterns. She really needs a dual-diagnosis treatment program that will tackle her addiction and mental health issues at the same time because neither will improve without the other. See also: Lindsay Lohan.
I can’t imagine that Janelle’s attorney would risk his career by tipping off the parole officer, but if I were Barbara I might be tempted to do so. Clearly probation has not helped, some jail time might have some effect. Probably not. She just doesn’t give a shit about anything besides her own whims and wants. I don’t think that she feels guilt when she gets caught, I think she just feels bad for herself because she knows it’s going to delay her next bong session, or whatever her method and substance of choice may be. She reminds me of my brother that way, but he has the somewhat redeeming qualities of kindness and humor. She really doesn’t seem to have anything positive to share with her fellow humans.
Leah looks like she is 45 years old, and did anyone notice how weird her butt looked in the dress she wore to court?? It was all big and lumpy and saggy.
Aubrey was cuter when she was younger—her mothers tarti-ness is rubbing off—maybe its an awkward phase. Chels and her mom look alike—I miss her theme sweaters and am not feeling the glam thing she is trying to work–maybe she wants Randy back.
@ 7 Siobhan— good question–what the hell else is this chick taking?? And love your name-btw
Jenelle needs her ass tossed in rehab and then work on her mental issues. Isnt she on meds for anxiety??? Her notion is that weed isnt a narcotic so she doesnt need NA is like people who think beer isnt alcohol (my family) and therefore nonaddictive.
@laurenb52- I completely agree with you about Jenelle.
@madylyne- I don’t think Jenelle has narcissistic personality disorder. People with narcissistic personality disorder usually are extremely self entitled, highly motivated, successful, productive members of society no matter their other flaws ( Farrah). I remember reading somewhere that most of the leaders of the world such as heads of companies (steve jobs the most famous accused of having npd) and politicians actually suffered from some form of narcissistic personality disorder. This clearly isn’t Jenelle. On the other hand sociopaths are usually the dregs of society. I don’t think Jenelle is a full blown sociopath but I do think she is somewhere on that spectrum even if mildly. For some reason she just reminds of Casey Anthony. Her looks and her choosing her partying lifestyle over her son. Casey and Jenelle even have similar mothers. I just find it so strange that she has formed absolutely no bond with her child. She’s completely vacant in that department.. She never talks about him, worries about him, nothing. I’m sure she’s only showing up for the cameras otherwise she would have been long gone. Also, if anyone follows Jenelle on twitter it is clear that the girl is such a habitual liar which is why I believe she has sociopathic tendencies.
@melli – THAT’S IT… casey anthony… it’s been driving me nuts… that’s exactly who she’s like… and i live right in the heart of casey country… we lived and breathed that entire case for two years, and still do… she was our local bar celebrity. but you’re spot on… it is a sociopathic thing… bc she could be wildly successful and popular, if she wanted to be… bc i do think she’s insanely smart… but something has kept her off track. but if not for mtv cameras, i can see her doing exactly what casey did to her kid.
Wow the Casey Anthony thing really freaks me out. Mainly because I can now see it too – very chilling to say the least.
Didn’t Casey also claim a baby daddy that turned out to not be true? Also the moms do share similiarities as well.
WTF, why did I not get the “feathers in hair” memo? Shit, even Chelesea’s mom is rockin’ it. Seaking of which, can she just NOT please? Please? It’s like she wants to win back Randy’s love by dressing like Chelsea, which is probably the most twisted theory I have ever came up with. Muaaahhh haaahh haaahh!
Adam is so abusive, his demeanor, attitude……HE is the sociopath in this series, he is the definition of it. And why Chelsea is with him…… oh God, I just can’t anymore with her. I give up.
I have to give Barb a shit-ton of credit. Mama Barb was inching towards retirement, and BAM here comes Janelle getting preggo. She offers to help out while Janelle grows up and matures. Now Janelle’s 21 years old, going to a fuckin’ Kesha concert and smoking weed like she’s freakin Bob Marley, and Jace is in the middle. BTW I like how her reason for not going to jail was only the concert….not “I have to be there for my son” not ‘my mom needs me”…no, it’s fuckin’ KESHA.
Leah….LETTTT IT GOOOOOO it was not the truck, it was the fact you screwed some guy right before the wedding and you were never happy with Corey. He handed you a child support check, count your blessings he is not some deadbeat dad.
Something is definitely wrong with Adam.
He only ever gets with Chelsea to abuse her emotionally.
And her dumb ass still keeps going back, and keeps dragging her poor bedraggled daughter with her.
Although I have to stand by my assertion that Aubrey is cute as a button. She just has such an impish little face.
The sight of her bent over, palms on the ground, shaking her butt in the air broke my heart though.
I hate that Chelsea isn’t teaching her to count or how to say her ABC’s (prolly cause Chelsea can’t do that stuff herself), and still hasn’t found time to make headway on her GED, but she felt it was important to give Aubrey a thorough tutorial in the art of twerking.
Jenelle is mentally ill.
This is the only explanation for her behavior and the fucked up state of her thinking, she is mentally ill and she needs help.
Also, it’s not inconceivable that she is on harder stuff. When Keiffer was busted, he was carrying cocaine I believe, and we all know that Janelle is not the best at decision-making or being her own person, especially when that crumb bum is involved. If he was doing coke, I’m almost positive that she was doing it too.
Ali Simms is the cutest baby on this whole show. Jace is a close second, but Ali is the cutest. I just love her little face with her little glasses.
Aleeah looks like Gollum.
And that’s all I’m gonna say about the trainwreck that is the Simms family.
Kailyn should just learn to speak straight to Jo. I support what she does, but the way she does it is not right. She always goes behind his back to the lawyers, and that’s why Jo’s parents say she’s sneaky. I think she does it more to avoid confrontation than to be sneaky, but it does come off underhanded and bitchy.
I also don’t understand why she is jealous of Vee or why she is sweating Jo.
He looks like short, doughy, and hispanic version of Bart Simpson.
Why in God’s name would any girl be attracted to that?
@awfuleyebrow – actually, attorneys can break attorney-client privilege and squeal like a pig on their client if they know they are going to commit a crime or be a danger to themselves or others. That being said, I doubt he would do that – he figures that if she’s in the can he’s stuck with a couple of Kesha tickets as his payment, and he doesn’t have enough time to get feathers in his hair and arrange to stay at Raleigh’s finest crack house, I mean hotel.
I think Jenelle has bordeline personality disorder and oppositional/defiant personality disorder, is depressed and self-medicating and has been raised in a family environment where screaming at each other is a common way of interacting when angry and frustrated with another person. Put that all together and I think you get Jenelle. But you can have all of that and still have a person who gives a shit about her kid. I think she never bonded with Jace and when Barb took custody Jenelle disconnected from him even further. Jace isn’t even in her consciousness any more, it’s like he isn’t even there for her. He’s some kid at his mom’s house, not her kid at all. I’m not sure you can fix that, especially when she all the rest of her psych problems going on. She’s a mess and really quite a horrible person. I feeel sorry for the kid she used to be who didn’t have to become her. I don’t feel quite as sorry for the person she has become. I just hope she doesn’t have any more kids. And that is as armchair as I’m gonna be with Jenelle.
There’s some kind of poetic justice going on with Adam. He’s the kind of hot guy who has no ethics about using girls and in my opinion he used Chelsea for sex and wound up with a dimwitted stalker-girl and a baby that was not part of his plans for his life. Sucks to be Adam. I mean, we can barely stand watching Chelsea on TV, imagine if she was in your life FOREVER, staring after you with that idiotic grin. I shudder to think about it. Let that be a lesson to all guys who want the girls without strings: sometimes girls have strings that go on forever…. Sometimes you wind up with a Chelsea. In his defense on the bike though, that’s what you do, you buy the bike a little bigger so they grow into it and also two year olds in the middle of a bunch of people at a birthday party are easily distracted by each person and present. I’m sure she’ll like the bike when it’s calmer and she has less stuff competing for her attention. It really was a good present, whoever thought of it. Personally, the kid-Jeep was IMO a stupid gift for someone so little. I like a vehicle where you have to use your legs and get some exercise, but I guess I’m just old fashioned that way.
There are reports everywhere that janelle has been doing heroin. I don’t think she was during filming, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was now. I also loved how when her lawyer gave her the jail dates she busted out her phone like ‘lemme see if that will work.’
Also, I’m not condoning Jo going out and getting hammered while he had issac, but you know that kid was safe and sound at home sleeping at his grandparents. Does Kaitlin want him to sit in the same room watching him sleep all night? She’s just butt-hurt he’s banging someone that’s not her and using Isaac to get back at him.
Adam is staying with Chelsea bc she has her own place and he’s too broke to get one, then breaking up with her every time a more interesting female comes around, which is probably plenty since he’s on tv. Teen girls are idiots.
Leah fucked her ex a week before her wedding— ‘Nuff said!
I just read online that Janelle got married to some Cortland Rodgers guy (certain on the first name, not on the last) today. I guess her sister said it was a shotgun wedding or whatever but what peeked my interest is that her sister said that she (Janelle) did this to try to get full custody of Jace.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. If that bimbo thinks she is going to get custody of her son, especially with all the video proof of her neglecting him and failing with her probation, then she is really delusional. If she even showed some semblance of change and didn’t act like a five year old playing with Play-Doh for the first time, then MAYBE I could see it. However, I don’t think getting married is going to help you sweetheart.
The new episode is gold! Looking forward to the recap!
Doesn’t a shotgun wedding imply there is a bun in the oven? The last thing Barb needs is another kid to take care of!
Great recap overall and I love your captions.
Jace breaks my heart!
The “syndrome” nickname is offensive though…I’m shocked no one else has commented on it. My niece has Down Syndrome and the negative connotation you’re using is hurtful.
@Madelyne27 “…and the world collectively wonders who will get those two Ke$ha seats…”
ROFL I got that same in head popup when Barb hung up. And then 1 of those audio apparitions like religious people get. Except for me it was Barb’s voice telling the camera crew “OK you guys get 1st crack if yawanna mekkan OFFAAHH” (And if they didn’t to pls show her how to get that Kreg Leg or Kres Less thing to come up on her phone)
The world was also collectively hoping so hard the next scene would be the actual Ke$ha on her busted screen phone telling Morgan Freeman that if she made a flesh apparition to Jenelle there’s no way she’d tell her to quit smoking weed. Because no matter what they read in the tabloids she’s got her principles.
But somebody at MTV dropped the ball. So instead of getting even more statues of itself in the Very Special Episode Hall of Fame, they just win Guinness for biggest failure to do the obvious in Very Special Episode history.
Ugh. @thxkbai. Ke$ha went as far to say she supports Jenelle Evan$. And $ay$ that people don’t understand them.
Yes! I got a shout-out
Stupid Pacifica. I’ll vouch for you because I totally noticed that on Kailyn’s browser as well. Those things are so freaking ugly. I have a particular hatred for them because my husband almost bought one he saw sitting along the road for sale while I was out of town. I almost murdered him. Who the hell sees one of those and thinks, “OOOhhhh…I HAVE to have that!”. Apparently Mr. Stardust does.
When Tori told Janelle that Barbara doesnt do anything for her, I wanted to stick my hand thru the TV and Slap her! and what the hell was the lady wearing that gave Leah the test?? Looked like a sundress over a button down shirt. What the Hell??