Jenelle whines that a 12 step program is not her fantasy and it won’t work for her. Barbara calls her a drug addict and suggests NA, but Jenelle says weed isn’t a narcotic. She gets up to leave and Barbara tells her not to smoke weed and Jenelle responds, “easy for you to say”. What a mess. Jace is left screaming by the door.
Seriously, I’m right here… melting down.
Ahhh, at long last… the lunch meeting with Jenelle, Jace, and her attorney, Dustin. Dustin has some great news, or at least it’s great in any normal human’s mind… but this is Jenelle, so let’s listen in… Jenelle wants to do the jail time in lieu of staying on probation, because then she won’t have to worry about random drug tests for the next 9 months.
Dustin: What they are asking for is the 8th through the 24th. A total of 16 days in jail… (16 DAYS IN JAIL… THAT’S A CAKE WALK… SHE COULD PROBABLY GET HER PHD IN THAT TIME.)
Jenelle: The only thing is on the 9th I’ve got second row seats to a concert. And it’s Ke$ha.
Dustin: I understand that. (No he doesn’t, no one does.) The problem is that’s not going to fly with your probation officer.
This chick is fascinating.
Jenelle: No, no, no. You don’t understand. This is my idol. She’s like my idol and I’m never going to be able to see her again. Like could you call her and…
Weed and Ke$ha… it’s all I live for.
Dustin (interrupts): I am NOT mentioning the concert. (But I am totes blogging about this tonight.)
What about your son?
Jenelle: I can’t miss this concert. That’s why I got all these feathers in my hair, because of the concert. I bought clothes… for the concert. I set up hotel rooms… for the concert.
Dustin: Alright. You’ll have to give your probation officer your decision. (And I have to rethink mine.) I understand that the concert is important to you, but you can have all this behind you in about two weeks. (You’re being way too logical here… SHE HAS FEATHERS.)
Jenelle: No one understands how important this concert is to me. It’s the person. It’s Ke$ha. It’s my idol. It’s the girl I watch videos of on YouTube thirty times a day. I’m obsessed with this girl. (Maybe Ke$sha won’t want her at the show.)
Are you seriously tweeting about me right now?
Jenelle voice overs that she didn’t get to make a decision on the concert because earlier that morning, her probation officer showed up and did a random drug test and since she failed again, she was arrested. (I’m trying to decide if I think that her attorney or Ke$sha made an anonymous call.)