Teen Mom 2 Recap: Looks Like We’re All Moving Again

33 Comments

1. 1
   considerthis
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 12:42 pm

   Based exclusively on the \Megan Payroll\ MTV is boosting the US Economy and simultaneously lowering unemployment. Kudos MTV! My God – I think Kail has the largest stable of Megans, followed by Chelsea, Janelle and then Leah (who fears a Megan might detract for her attracting all within her world).

   Great start with the LOVE/HATE to which I will follow suit.
   Kail
   HATE – the nasty infection she has on one of her chest piercings.
   LOVE – the fact that Jo/VeeDee drama was NOT a part of this episode

   Janelle
   HATE – the fact that her recovery time/drama/whining from her self inflicted surgury is twice as long as JR Martinez’s.
   LOVE – When you wished Jace would jump on her chest – ME TOO!

   Leah
   HATE – Everything about this contradictory whore
   LOVE – That she allows Chelsea to do her hair. My dog stole a Barbie doll from my kid and when we pryed it away the Barbie’s hair STILL looked awesome compaired to Leah’s weave.

   Chelsea
   LOVE – This spoiled bitch is not getting her way for the moment. Chelsea does NOT want to go to school period, she does not want to work either. Getting out of SD is just the excuse du jour. It took her half a millenium to get her GED there is no WAY she is finishin BLACK PLAGUE in 365 days.
   HATE – The fact that she insists on exposing Aubrey to her fits, tears, tantrums and that Aubrey has to help her thru them. Fuckin pull it together until Aubrey goes to bed then have your shit fits you self centered cunt!

   Overall
   HATE – How Leah & Kail force their kids to shower their live-ins o’ the week with kisses, affirmations and affection. Ali – tell Jeremy you love him. Issac – You want Javi to move in RIIIIGHT?!?! Aleeahhaae – Give Jeremy a hug and kiss. The one screen grab you have shows Leah shoving her kids in for a group hug – forced love is always so genuine.
   LOVE – The speed you got this cap up and the wall of heads!

2. 2
   Lisa
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 12:42 pm

   oh my gosh, can I just say YOU ARE THE BEST RECAPPER EVER ! Not even through with first page yet, already laughing….

3. 3
   LadyStardust
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 12:47 pm

   Is it just me, or did Jenelle looks pregnant when she left to go to her boob job? I wonder if they filmed that part while she was pregnant, out of order. Her stomach is suspiciously round in this pic (I thought it was the shirt maybe, but she had that round stomach the whole walk to the car).

   http://i1336.photobucket.com/albums/o654/shatteredhopes13/Screenshot2013-03-20at121954PM_zpsa55c69b9.png

4. 4
   LisaP
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 12:58 pm

   first of all — LOVE this recap!!!
   when did chelsea get so fat??? holy GOD what happened to her? i think she must be trying to balance out the big bod with big hair thinking we won’t notice. we notice chelsea. we notice.

5. 5
   Madelyne27
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 12:59 pm

   @considerthis – awesome… they make it easy to love/hate them… they make it hard to know when to stop.
   @lisa – thanks… i love writing.
   @ladystardust – YES… and i meant to say that she looked like she had a beer gut, but it wasn’t really beer-ish… she def had a protruding belly.

6. 6
   Lisa
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 1:05 pm

   —@Madelyne27– – just stay with me on the hate Slo Jo train and I’ll put in a recommendation that your boss gives you a raise

7. 7
   misszar
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 1:12 pm

   @ Madelyne27, I want to buy you a Whopper with extra cheese. Awesome recap

   For the sake of my mental health I can’t watch the show but from the recap this week Jenelle seemed to be the least offensive this week, probably due to the post surgery ‘medication’.

   Hate – Kailyn’s hypocrisy. She would have thrown a bitch fit if Vee had moved in on the side and SloJo didn’t tell her.
   Hate – Leah looking like 40 year old truck stop waitress who is working nights to support hubby no. 7 and get that funny rash looked at.
   Hate – Chelsea. The feeling is so strong I can’t highlight just one thing.

8. 8
   dallasboo
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 1:23 pm

   Yes Chelsea…..you have such a horrible and stressful life. Your daughter is well behaved and adorable. You FINALLY got your GED and now attend the “beauty” school of your dreams. Your enabling parents pay for everything and are at your every beck and call. You drive two new cars and have no job. You do not worry about money. But somehow this “stressful” life of yours makes you feel entitled to yell and scream at your dad on the phone….as you drive with your daughter in the backseat. At one point, you had no hands on the wheel as your cursed at your dad. Get your shit together…… you are becoming as pathetic as your hair looks.

9. 9
   karyn
   Posted March 20, 2013 at 1:30 pm

   When did Chelsea get so fat? I can’t watch this show anymore because it just exhausts me but Madelyn27 your recaps are awesome. LOVE reading them. Totally makes my day.

10. 10
    Sunshine
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    I wanted to reach thru the screen and smack Chelsea when she was talking to her father. And what the hell is she doing driving and talking on her cell with her kid in the back seat? Dallasboo is so totally right about that shit.

    I thought Kail’s jealousy about Vi pissed me off but Chelsea and Leah by far overpower that this week…what losers….

    The heads on the wall made me literally laugh out loud at my desk (specially Keiffer’s) …Madelyn’s recaps are the BEST and I totally think Dance Mom’s recap sucked this week once she left…I didn’t laugh once.

    I want Goggles..she is so darn cute…I am going to be her for Halloween….I guess since she had to suffer so much with the bum leg early in life she got the normally shaped head unlike her little sister who is going to be just like her mother.

    How does anyone kiss Corey? How dare Leah want a house because this time she is sure…four days earlier she was needing to trah with Corey….what a dumbass she is and I hate her fingers.

    LOVE LOVE LOVE these captions…. Madelyn you are the best.

11. 11
    LadyStardust
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Add me to the list of people who are horrified when these girls yell and cry into the phone while they’re driving with a child in the backseat. There’s no way they’re paying close attention to the road when they’re in a discussion that heated.

    Chelsea irritates me so much. Her dad will probably do most of the moving (or whoever else she ropes into moving her shit for me…I doubt she’ll do much herself) so why exactly is she whining? If she doesn’t want to have to move, buy a house/condo or rent an actual apartment. I usually rent from private owners rather than apt. complexes, but guess what? I’ve had to move 3 times in the past 4 years because the owners decided to sell. It’s one of the risks of renting from a private owner, especially with the housing market right now.

    I don’t get why she can’t just move back into that nice house that her dad owned. Wasn’t her whole reason for moving out of there because her dog was outside without a leash and no supervision and wandered onto someone else’s property and was attacked? Yeah, TOTALLY not Chelsea’s fault – obviously the neighborhood was just unsafe.

    Her snobbiness at not wanting to live in a townhouse bothered me too. “I don’t like it! It’s a townhouse!”. Ugh. Most people her age (kid or not) would be lucky to live in a townhouse that nice.

12. 12
    LadyStardust
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    *moving her shit for HER – not me.

13. 13
    DM
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    Aww I’m sad that they left out the part about the real reason Jenelle and Keiffer broke up was because he sold her naked before/after surgery pictures to TMZ.

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    melli
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    I think he might’ve sold those pictures of her after they broke up and he was already back in new jersey.

15. 15
    Holyterror
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    What constantly strikes me about Leah and Chelsea is how OLD they look. Most people don’t wear that much makeup or have hair that damaged until they’re well into their forties. On Chelsea it’s worse because she’s so THICK. She really looks like a Yeti from behind. They all also dress like they’ve just given up on life.

    I think the male equivalent of a Megan should be a Corey or a Brandon.

    Great recap as always, Madelyne.

16. 16
    Holyterror
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    HATE :Janelle’s eyebrows! They look like they came off a cartoon character.

17. 17
    Gma96793
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Us magazine online has a picture of Leah and her new baby. Also in the pic is goggles and non goggles, who looks like she is trying to choke the new baby. Both goggles and non have grown up…..goggles is quite fetching!!!!

18. 18
    Madelyne27
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=556363454395048&set=a.177319978966066.44034.107705135927551&type=1&theater

    A commenter posted this on last weeks recap. Goggles is awesome. I miss her baby chubbiness, but I’m digging her style.

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    Detinha
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    LOVE your recaps; HATE that you didn’t post a pic of SloJo rapping, yo! They crack me up!

20. 20
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 6:26 pm

    Fuck you Chelsea. Some of us had to recently sell a house, FIND a house halfway across the country, and plan a wedding all while working full-time. Not that I’m speaking about anyone I know or anything….ahem. Just, fuck you. You are seriously the worst.

21. 21
    Classy Drunk
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 6:18 am

    Well I have to say I am with Chelsea. I just found the house that I liked and a few months later I have to pack all this ish up and move again?!?!!?!? Moving is easily the worst thing in the world to me which is why I’ve been in the same place for the past 7 years and don’t plan on moving any time soon.

    Chelsea yelling on the phone to her dad also opened my eyes to something. I am pretty spoiled myself because I would have called my mom too pretty pissed that I have to move all my ish AGAIN.

    Since we are not privy to what Corey is not doing I can only speak from what I see. Is it any possibility that Corey is trying to take it slow with his relationship with Leah and not immediately jump back into the situation. She really pissed me off when she said that Jeremy was being more of a father than he was. How is that possible when Jeremy is only there a day or two out of the week and Corey seems to have the girls during the week. She is a BITCH.

    I like seeing Kailyn happy.

22. 22
    Mary
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 6:40 am

    once again need to comment on Janelle,her reasons for not seeing her son are embrassing,does she realize how horrible she sounds??prob.does not care.I recently watched her 16 and pregnant episode.very sad,the little boy was already born,and the 2 of them are screaming over the newborn,calling him an it,I hope he never sees that.whats done is done but why did they not give that baby up for adoption????
    it was very sad to see that other grandfather Barnie not even show one ounce of emotion at the sight of his new fresh from heaven grandson,not knowing when he will be able to see him again.I cannot comment on the other girls,who really seem to love their children,and who all have a support system of grandparents and family who love them also,Kailyn included,you can tell that Joe and his family love that little boy,sad she tried to keep them away from him,You can just tell Barb is raising him out of obligation rather than love,I guess who can blame her,very very sad.

23. 23
    Xanadu
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 6:49 am

    funny recap, it helps bear the mess of their lives.

24. 24
    considerthis
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 7:17 am

    Looks like Janelle might have a roomie in rehab They can compare boob jobs to pass the time.
    http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/teen-mom-star-farrah-abraham-reportedly-arrested-for-drunk-driving-14575.php

25. 25
    Honeybee
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 9:05 am

    I’m confused as to why Jenelle seems to be in so much pain from her self-inflicted surgery. I had a breast augmentation a few years ago, and I was not incapacitated like Jenelle. I was in pain for ONE day (but was still able to walk, feed myself, etc) and then I was out and about, like nothing happened. Maybe it’s all the “muscle relaxers” she’s taking. Who knows.

    As for Chelsea, why is that townhouse her only option? Are there really no other vacant houses or apartments in all of Sioux Falls? Is she really so busy talking to herself at the Black Plague school / whining to her enabling dad in that gut-wrenching voice that she can’t do an online search? I agree with dallasboo – Chelsea’s life is a cake walk and she’s a spoiled brat.

    Leah looks like she’s forty, and I wouldn’t be surprised if those extensions did have a dead raccoon in them. I can’t believe she had the balls to demand her ring back like that. Jeremy must have an intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

    I like seeing Kaylin happy, but girl’s gotta get her temper under control. I wonder what happens next week to make her flip out on Javi. He seems so docile!

26. 26
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 10:00 am

    Moving is annoying. If it were any other person than Chelsea I might understand. Anyone who takes care of their own adult responsibilities in a productive, timely manner. I was more commenting on her lamenting how stressful life is because of moving, school and HER CHILD. It happens, Chelsea. Given her history, I just see these comments as warning signs that she’s going to use it as her excuse to quit one thing (ie school) and go back to being lazy – “But you guys, I said before that it was just too hardddddduh!”

    I also knew exactly where Chelsea was when she was driving and talking to her dad. Yikes. That’s pathetic.

27. 27
    Madelyne27
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    i’m going to be my own buzzkill today… but this 17 year old mom could have run circles around our teen moms…

    http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/21/health/world-down-syndrome-day/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

28. 28
    annie
    Posted March 21, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    I wouldn’t doubt if Janelle had the boob surgery as a good excuse to get her paws on some painkillers *OR* she is going to blame the painkillers prescribed to her after her surgery as an excuse for her (now obvious) heroin addiction. Which also makes me think Nurse Keeefah probably swooped right in and stole all her medication while he was there.

    Leah’s extensions look like something Jeremy killed in the hollers of WV and brought home for dinner. They. Look. Awful. Did she go to the SoDak Skool of Hair and get them done by Chelsea herself?

    And YES, that US Weekley of Leah, Jeremy and the babies looks super awkward!

29. 29
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 12:44 am

    Miss Chelsea doesn’t like stairs? That child needs to walk up and down some stairs frequently. Her body type is starting to resemble a large cheddar cheese ball. It does look like she’s doing her homework though. She did her own weave. No mirror either.

30. 30
    Rose
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 2:56 am

    Leah’s eyes on the US Magazine cover. That is not love or happiness. That is “Oh #$& what did I just get myself into??”

31. 31
    Honeybee
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 8:42 am

    PS: Madelyne, I loved your “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” reference. Jenelle is a looneybird!

32. 32
    Holyterror
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 9:59 am

    I just saw some old episodes of this repeated on some other network. Chelsea has dark brown hair, and already has that fake tan overload. I swear, in some shots, she looks EXACTLY like a HUGE turd — especially when she’s lying on the bed (which is most of the time) and her neck and face blend seamlessly.

    Now she’s more like one of those cheese logs from Harry and David.

33. 33
    rebecca pressley
    Posted April 3, 2013 at 9:51 am

    there are some new apartments near my house that start at $1200 for a one bedroom and $1600 for a 3 bedroom, I live in a 2000 sq foot house and my house payment isnt even $1000 month! Rent is crazy these days. As much dope as Jenelle does, the pain pills would have little effect on her.