Nope. Still no Uber for you, you droll oatmeal creme pie.
Chelsea appears to have a fresh coat of Cheetos dust on her face when she gets a text that she has to move out of the house and she is screwed. She calls her dad and whines that she’s so stressed out and that she doesn’t want to go back to the other house he paid for and she screams while Daddy Houskabucks promises to get online and find her a house. What a spoiled btch. She complains that nothing goes smoothly for her. Except the rich dad, the two brand new cars, and not having to have a job? That seems pretty smooth. She cries and Aubree asks her if she is happy. She promises Aubree she is happy, so Aubree tells her to “stop crying”. Aubree continues to say it about 100 more times.
Aubree, it’s me… your mom… don’t I look tan.
I can’t believe I forgot to tan my chest. What am I to do?
Call Daddy Houskabucks, of course.
No, Aubree… mommy isn’t happy. She’s useless.
Good advice. Tell her that her tan is gonna run.
Jenelle heads over to finally visit her mom and son, but she doesn’t have time for small talk, so she launches into her justification of needing a boob job. Barb doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but Jenelle just rambles on and on. She thinks it’s safe because they are using ocean water or saltines or something. She tells Barb that Kieffer doesn’t want her to do it and Barb says it’s the first time she agrees with Kieffer. Jenelle says that if a guy had a small penis and had to walk around with a small penis showing, he would want surgery. And her itty bitties are like a little penis on display. Oddly I found some logic in her comparison.
Look Jace, we found a 12 year old boy for you to play with today.
So I think by getting a boob job it’ll be easier for me to become a stripper.
Ya got that right. I was the top paid stripper at the Rusty Beaver after my boob jobs.
Uber Jace likes strippers.
Leah voiceovers that Jeremy has been texting her and that she feels like she’s made a big mistake in choosing Corey over him. She meets up with Corey to baby swap and Goggles looks adorable. Leah says they need to talk about whether they are serious or not about “trahing”. She says she doesn’t want to be on his ride anymore and he doesn’t want to be on Leah’s ride. She says she just want to have a family and take the kids to church and hug them. Hey, dumbass, you can do that alone, too. Leah thinks he should be fighting harder for his family and she thinks it’s all a waste of time. Corey asks if she thinks Jeremy will take her back and she says she’s not sure if he will. He does. Corey drives away while Leah sits in another new car.