Teen Mom 2 Recap: Pumpkins, Pills, Potties, and Pipelines

26 Comments

1. 1
   jp
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 12:31 pm

   Just really hoping this show has another season after this one bc that one is going to have ALOT of good stuff

2. 2
   Marie
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:13 pm

   “Step-gnome”… I DIED

3. 3
   Lisa
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:29 pm

   Leah: “I want to tra”. Recapper: “I want to cra”. Corey: “I wish I could fla”. funny stuff.

   I was afraid everyone would diss Barbara for hollering at Jenelle while she had a headache in bed. And although I wish Jace had not been in the room, I do see Barbara’s point, that Jenelle could have at least called her and let her know not to make the trip over to tard’s house.

4. 4
   katie
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 3:31 pm

   My thoughts for the week:
   Chelsea-ugh, no words. But I missed the promo for next week, what’s going to happen to her dogs?

   Kailyn-Maybe her cousin could move up to Pennsylvania? It might be easier than Kailyn trying to move with Isaac.

   Jenelle-I’ve had some migraines in my life, so I know what that’s like, but I feel like she only wants Jace when it’s right for her. If Jace actually lived with her, like she seems to eventually want to happen, she’d have to take care of him, headache or not. I get where Barb is coming from. My sympathy for Jenelle is wearing thin.

   Leah-Why didn’t she ever ask Corey if he wanted to try therapy? We heard her ask the last time she wanted to tra, but we didn’t hear her mention it this time. Most of us know what happens with these two, but wouldn’t that have been an obvious step to take?

5. 5
   niknakflipflop
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:15 pm

   @Madelyne27-I just wanted to say that for me this show is hands down the funniest recap on the site. Every week you make me laugh more than any other capper/show. I love your sense of humor and it fits perfectly, you write what most people are screaming at their tv while watching this shit. Thanks for making me actually lol

6. 6
   niknakflipflop
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 4:18 pm

   Oh and Leah’s Christmas pictures are really weird and beyond trashy. Also I cannot possibly watch next week if a dog is going to die. A person I can totally handle but not a dog.

7. 7
   Madelyne27
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 5:55 pm

   regarding jenelle’s headaches/migraines… my thought is that if your head is hurting so bad and you can’t be troubled to move out of bed when your mom and son stop by, then how are you able to deal with the lights being turned on and off and able to scream at people at the top of your lungs. if she was really hurting, there’s no way she would have been able to scream and curse. she was either hungover from alcohol, meds, or whatever… but she was not sick. and even if she was, she deserves to be screamed at randomly throughout each and every day.

   @niknak… thanks… glad to know i’m not the only person that loves to see the worst in people. as for the dog… part of me is praying the dog is just hurt, but i don’t like it’s chances. but i totally blame chelsea and the mtv crew… bc that dog should not have been anywhere near a road with a group of adults filming this orange clown. i might break my personal rule and actually live tweet with chelsea and her dad next week. i have a few things i’d like to say to them.

   @katie – leah did ask for therapy. but corey didn’t want to go. they don’t need therapy, they need an education and access to the morning after pill.

8. 8
   chaosbutterfly
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 6:55 pm

   Your recaps are so mean and wrong, but they feel so right.
   And thank you for the Ali screengrabs. The faceplant definitely got an involuntary squeal out of me.
   Why is she so freaking cute, ugh. I want to steal her and clone her so I can have like a million Ali-ballys to cuddle and love.

   It’s sad that I’m way more concerned about what’s gonna happen to Chelsea’s dog than about what’s gonna happen to Chelsea.
   And she was happy to get a 66% in social studies and an 86% in reading?
   Jesus wept.

   I would give so much to understand what Janelle’s malfunction is.
   The girl just cannot get right, no matter what.
   Why didn’t she call and let them know, “hey I’m having a reaction to my medicine, can we reschedule?” That’s what a responsible, thoughtful adult would do, instead of having them come over and then screeching at them to leave.And then since they were already there, she should have gotten up. People don’t feel well all the time, but that doesn’t mean that you can just forsake all your commitments and obligations.

   It’s a perfect metaphor for why Barb can’t trust her with Jace. If she had Jace, she would have to suck it up and take care of him, sick or no. Laying in bed in the dark while your baby is hungry or unsupervised is not okay. And if she was too sick to care for him, she would have to be able to think outside of herself and make arrangements for him to be cared for. Obviously, she can’t do either so of course Barb is not gonna give her Jace.
   Honestly, I think Barb should just try to legally adopt him and let that be that.
   I really don’t have any hope for Jenelle ever being a good parent or even a good person in general.

9. 9
   kthxbai
   Posted January 9, 2013 at 9:24 pm

   @Madelyne27 Thanks so much for your awesome recaps of this mess. It really makes it almost bearable to watch.

   How come Dr Drew doesn’t fix Chelsea up with Josh? They’d be great together.

   Slo-Jo’s been put on the Ryan Edwards weekly child care scene program. Where every episode’s got to show him at least holding the baby. Before he hands Isaac back to Janet.

   And goes to play in his home studio they bought him so he can keep trying to turn into a rapper.

   Watching Kailyn in Austin with her beige blood Megans made me hope Javi’ll adopt Isaac. And that at least 1 of Janet’s sons knocks up a girl that wants to go live with them. So her extended family dream can come true.

   Yeah yeah I know I’m going back on my word again. But 1 time every season I should get to say this:

   Jenelle needs somebody to tell her it’s OK to not want to be a mom. It’s also separate from her being batshit crazy.

   Which isn’t being helped by her feeling like she’s got to put on this front about how she wants to get Jace back blah blah.

   What’s not OK is Jace living with Barb. Ideally he would’ve gotten adopted out when he was born. But better late than never.

10. 10
    tlondon
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 6:17 am

    Oh-it’s PapaRandilicious, by the way.

    Why, yes, I DO need a life. Don’t judge me.

    More Allie! I agree, she is such a cutie pa.

11. 11
    caligal
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 7:29 am

    If MTV wouldn’t put down the camera when baby Sophia scalded herself in the sink while Farrah was on the phone, I doubt they will interevene to save a poor dog.
    Thanks for the great and hilarious recaps!

12. 12
    Madelyne27
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 8:24 am

    @tlondon… haha… i totally judge you for knowing it… but you won points… PapaRandiculous would be better.

    Teen moms do not need pets. They don’t need kids either, but then I’d just be recapping a show about orange morons.

    And why don’t we ever see Adam when he and Chelsea are broken up? I mean, we see Ryan when he’s not with Maci. I need to know what Adam is doing. I’m assuming he’s cutting the sleeves off his shirts, but what else?

13. 13
    Lisa
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Casey Anthony I hope you read these comments, see Chaosbutterfly’s comment about how it is not ok to leave your baby unsupervised. You should have at least got more jail time for that alone. now we learn that you searched for fool proof suffocation methods too!

14. 14
    mere2142
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Why did I check out Randy’s twitter feed? That sure killed my love for him in about 5 seconds flat

    My dvr cut off the previews as well but if MTV shows a dog getting running over I may have to boycott.

15. 15
    Classy Drunk
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 11:20 am

    @mere…what did he say?

16. 16
    Hlesczyn
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    I don’t watch the show anymore but I agree with the above comments, the recaps are hilarious and a throw back to the early Hills, RHOOC, RHONY recaps that I would literally read when my boss was out of town because I would be dying on the floor laughing so hard. Something to look forward to every week – THANKS!

17. 17
    Considerthis
    Posted January 11, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    OK something is up with MTV or I suffer mini-stokes every time Teem Mom is on??? I live in Pittsburgh (big enough city that I won’t be hunted down) and I swear to you I never saw the scene with Issac Hanson pushing the lawn mower in the gym nor the scene where Corey’s Teen Dad is helping him with the girls. There have been a few of your earlier recaps that I saw things that I never thought I had seen before??

    Granted my rage might at these morons might be causing blackouts or maybe I live in alternate dimension? I fail to believe MTV would edit 2 slightly different episodes? BIZZARO

    Anywho…
    If you think a 66% makes you a genius – well nuff said. Working and going to college oh you silly girl.

    Janelle is the poster child for any adoption agency in America. kthxbi said is so very well in that just admit being a mom is not for you and move on – would have a ton more respect for her and it would be the least selfish most mature thing she has done -EVER. Her going thru the motions of being a devoted but denied mom is getting insulting!

    Q: What is bigger than Leah’s ego
    A: Nothing
    She has catapulted into my least favorite Teen Mom. With all the fawning and fighting over her affections it was nauseating. Her step dad the gnome reminds me of that toy I had growing up where you would take magnetic shavings while carrying them with a magnet and put hair or a beard etc. etc. on a man. I’m tellin ya it’s like he jumped out of that toy! When he is \coaching\ Leah on being wary of tra-in (love that Mad27) to get back with Corey and how he mistreated her before. WTF is that – Why because Carey didn’t turn a blind ay (eye) to you fucking somebody 3 days before the wedding?? Wow how abusive of Corey! They are all inbred and rediculous!

    Again awesome job as always!

18. 18
    Considerthis
    Posted January 11, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    After reading all the grammatical and spelling errors in my post – it is either I am trying to emulate Chelsea OR those pasky mini-strokes are happening again! Sorry

19. 19
    kthxbai
    Posted January 11, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    @Considerthis It’s not just you. @Madelyne27 gets scenes my market didn’t get too. I just figured it’s got to do with ratings and sponsor stuff? Maybe the toy lawn mower company’d bought some time in her market. But not in mine or yours.

    I wonder if they do the same thing with other shows but we just don’t notice it. Because it’s never anything that matters much. And just by chance she happened to pick caps of a couple of scenes we 1) didn’t get. And 2) noticed we didn’t get.

    Leah and Corey are acting totally normal. For high school kids. They’re running behind probably because their teen experience got interrupted. And also because of their ways. Plus like @Madelyne27 says their education.

    Everybody that’s ever been 14 knows that look on Leah’s face. And the feeling you get the 1st time you find out more than 1 boy wants to take you to the jr high dance.

    Not to mention boys that don’t want their ex back. But don’t want anybody else to have her either. So they up and get a new girlfriend for revenge.

    That stuff’s really only a problem in situations where things like marriage and divorce and having twins are involved.

20. 20
    Considerthis
    Posted January 11, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Thanks for the validation kthxbai – saved me a trip to the ER

21. 21
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted January 11, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    I’m so glad you two said something.
    There were scenes in the recap that I don’t remember seeing, but I also have a couple of drinks during Teen Mom 2 (only way to get through it) so I’ve been trying to figure out if I was accidentally doing too much and needed to cut back or not.
    I guess not.
    Yay!

22. 22
    Madelyne27
    Posted January 11, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    that’s insane that we don’t all see the same show… but then again, i do watch the show on TV, but then watch it a few more times online to get the screen captures, and maybe the online version is less edited. i refuse to believe that we aren’t all privy to the sames scenes… what if you guys get to see Chelsea do something really smart. oh wait… probably not.

    @kthxbai, you said it perfectly… jenelle would be so much better off if she just stopped trying to make people think she cares. she doesn’t. that’s fine. go screw up your life and jace can be her little brother who visits her in rehab on family days. or i could adopt him. i love that kid.

    @chaosbutterfly… never cut back. it’s a sign of weakness.

23. 23
    Melanie
    Posted January 12, 2013 at 4:39 am

    Kailyn, Kaylie, Mikayla…? Did anyone else find that weird at all?

    I also found myself staring at the tv after Chelsea barely was able to open that envelope, and proclaimed she was a genius with those scores. Uh, really? It’s clear she would only be able to ace a class called How to Be Orange, or How to Whine Effectively.

    I have given up on Jenelle. Poor Jace.

    Leah and her accent drive me nuts! Anyone else watch Buckwild? It’s set in WV, and the only person who has such a thick accent is this kid Shain, and he needs subtitles sometimes. But everyone else sounds pretty normal. Do they teach these kids to “tra” in school there?

24. 24
    LadyStardust
    Posted January 12, 2013 at 11:57 pm

    @ Melanie: I grew up in WV and accents are kind of weird there. Some people have really thick ones and some don’t — even from the same family. I think because we are kind of on the border of being “southern” or not. I had a super thick accent when I was a kid, but grew out of the worst of it by Jr. High. I haven’t lived there in almost nine years and I still say my “I” ‘s long like that with a lot of words (like “try”). I lost most of my accent, but it’s a hard habit to break It’s weird because I read “try” like you guys apparently read “tra”. To me, “tra” is said like “tra-la-la”.

    Does anyone know how the GED is normally taken? Is it generally taken in 6 separate tests on separate days or is it all one test? For some reason, I thought it was all one collective test that was taken at one time, but I may be wrong. I doubt anyone has been taking it for 2 years though besides Chelsea.

25. 25
    Madelyne27
    Posted January 13, 2013 at 10:45 am

    @ladystardust. My Pekingese dog recently took the GED test and he had to do it over two days. But that was only bc he paws got tired from holding the pencil. Academically, he said he could have done it in one day.

26. 26
    wcsdancer
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    Gasmii, there are reports that Jenelle is pregnant again. Why do people who can’t take care of the first child think it’ll be different with the second? They’re not waffles where you can just throw the first one out! I never thought I’d be a good parent. Wanna know what I did? I didn’t have children!
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/16/jenelle-evans-pregnant-teen-mom-2_n_2487987.html