Teen Mom 2 Recap: Return of The Feathers

27 Comments

1. 1
   considerthis
   Posted December 26, 2012 at 5:14 pm

   What a wonderfu X-mas Eve surprise! MTV delivered a new episode so as I wrapped presents I could curse at my TV while watching these morons. Really kicked up my holiday spirit.

   Chelsea – much like beer of the month club she has friend of the month club. What rocks do these \besties\ climb out from under? You can almost smell the smoke from her brain workin OT to figure out a way she can purchase (or have her enabling dentistdad) a GED. This is one area of her life where beggin and whining won’t make it happen. Love the \feathers\ name – also explains declining bird populations in SD.

   Janelle – loved the jugs comment (screw off top & economy sized). Booze, big dogs and a pool sounds like the perfect place for Jace.

   Kail – Is MTV running a contest to appear \as a friend\ for the Teen Mom of your choice? C’mon girl turn that frown upside down.

   Leah – Again her storyline in particuliar drives me nuts in terms of timeline. She meets Corey for the switch in a parka and then Corey discusses his feelings for her to his Dad who is in shorts and sweating profusely while working on his house. Do you think his change of heart is legit? Did an MTV camera crew hang out in Leah’s bedroom everynite (insert joke/penis here) just waiting and hoping that Corey would send a PLEEEASE take me back txt? I just seems a little manufactured to me to again deflect blame from Leah and make her look better but I am curious to hear what others think???

   While you are distracted by lawn trimmers I am listening to snow blowers – would gladly trade places!

2. 2
   rebecca pressley
   Posted December 26, 2012 at 5:33 pm

   Randy has such a big house, i wonder why Chelsea and her child dont just live with Randy and save money.

3. 3
   annie
   Posted December 26, 2012 at 5:53 pm

   @ Rebecca…..don’t you see? Chelz is an independent, strong woman!!! She can not move back home and live with her Dad because she is making it on her own and she is so successful!!!!!! 1,000 % sarcastic, of course. The girl is a complete joke. She has ten times more than any other of these teen moms (in terms of upbringing, money, support, opportunity) and has managed to do ten time less with her life than any of them. (I am not including Janelle in this, she is not a mother)

   Speaking of Janelle…wow she really picked a winner with this dude and his family. Am I in the freakin’ Twilight Zone?!

   @considerthis…..I love your theory on the SD Bird Population! I think you are right!!!! Also….does this feather trend remind anyone else of “roach clips” from the 70s and 80s? Or is it just me? haha

4. 4
   begonia skies
   Posted December 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm

   i just have to say that this was one fucking funny recap.

5. 5
   Andyourlittledogtoo
   Posted December 26, 2012 at 8:08 pm

   @annie – Are you kidding? Roach clip is the ONLY thing I think of when I see the feathers clipped into their hair.

   Poor Jace. Big, potentially aggressive dogs, an unguarded pool, and an apparently drunken homeowner. Oh, and his bipolar drug addicted mother and her new boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong? The big mystery to me is why Barb thinks that whole set up is perfectly fine. In fact, Barb is so chill about everything lately that I wonder whose stash she has been dipping into. This does not seem like normal-Barb behavior. I can see her having given up on advising or helping Janelle. But I can’t understand how she is so nonchalant about Janelle’s plans for Jace. Poor kid. She’s his last line of defense.

   I totally can see Chelsea fishing for a way to get that pesky GED requirement waived since she’s ‘special’ and on TV and her daddy pays for whatever she wants and smooths her way and wouldn’t a beauty school be thrilled to have free advertising on Teen Mom if only they could waive that whole GED thingie. It’s stupid, but so is Chelsea, so I can completely see her little lizard brain frantically trying to get that to happen.

   Leah in ten years: cocktail waitress hunting for husband number four while her mom babysits her five kids. She is so low rent.

6. 6
   JudgyWudgy
   Posted December 26, 2012 at 9:05 pm

   Uh, what? Mike is back!? I coulda sworn he and Babs weren’t together anymore, last I knew.

   Somewhere a dentist is realizing his daughter is a failure, but at that same somewhere that same dentist must also realize he created that failure (or probably already realized it when he had her create his website).

7. 7
   Cheergirl
   Posted December 26, 2012 at 10:37 pm

   chelsea and her friends are such hotmesses. like… do they own mirrors? do their eyes work? those are the people who attend beauty school? are they sure they’re not more suitable for clown school?

8. 8
   Madelyne27
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 5:04 am

   I thought Barb and Mike had called it quits too… but maybe he came back when Jenelle went on her meds.

   Is anyone else tempted to take the GED tests just to see how hard they are? it’s been over 20 years since i went to high school… and i was never a great student… but i’m so curious to see if i could pass. (but terrified i’d fail.)

   I was reading about the new taping and whether Jenelle’s hubby will be in the show… i think season 4 might be the best season ever.

9. 9
   nashuaf
   Posted December 27, 2012 at 6:44 am

   I’m probably too sensitive for these recaps but what’s with all the killing Jace and Jace killing his family comments? Honestly, it saddens me having to see that poor kid and knowing how horrible his life is probably going to shake out, but I don’t think jokes about being mauled or drowning are humorous.

10. 10
    Flippy Floppy
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 7:17 am

    How old do you think Corey’s dad was when Corey was born? 10? 12?

11. 11
    Classy Drunk
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 7:26 am

    I don’t think I can watch anymore. I am so enraged that all Chelsea swears is sweatpants. Like seriously you don’t own a cotton tshirt?!?!?!

12. 12
    Classy Drunk
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 8:00 am

    I get what you are saying about the yard people Madelyn. In my apt complex they seem to always do the landscaping on a day where I’m off of work. Doesn’t matter if it’s Monday or Thursday. And they do it at like 8 am, so no sleeping in for me.

    Also in the car scene with Leah and Corey the babies were calling for their Daddy…maybe it’s because I don’t have kids but I was like “please just acknowledge them!!!”

13. 13
    Madelyne27
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 8:08 am

    @classy – the other day my daughter (20) said that i have a filter in my ears bc i hear and acknowledge everyone except for her. (this was during a huge family gathering.) apparently i have learned to tune her out, but my nieces and nephews, i hear every word they say.

    @nashuaf – i appreciate you reading this and commenting, but i won’t be able to apologize for my twisted sense of humor. it’s certainly not for everyone, but it comes from a place of sarcasm. i certainly don’t WANT jace to be mauled… but if it has to happen, i hope MTV captures it.

14. 14
    Poppy Blue
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 9:15 am

    I am pretty sure Josh’s dogs were a German shepherd and a boxer. Boxers are generally excellent with small kids. I do not know much about German shepherds, but most herding breeds will treat a child like a sheep who needs watching over.

    I think the pool, booze, and cigarettes (tobacco or other) are far more dangerous to Jace than anything else. Then again, his family is not doing him any favors! He may need some vices to cope.

    All of these girls just make me want to projectile vomit. Repeatedly. I only watch because it allows me to feel morally superior and righteously judgmental for one hour per week. I hope MTV follows up on these twits and their kids ten or twenty years from now. I predict Chelsea will still not have finished her GED and Daddy will still be financing her. Jenelle will be in prison or on parole (but running her own meth lab and toothless) or dead. Leah is definitely going the multiple marriages/divorces route, but I am not sure she will ever manage working as a cocktail waitress. Kailyn has the best shot of actually graduating from school and making a better life for herself and Isaac, but I suspect she too will be married and divorced a few times. She will also likely continue to whine about her crappy lot in life and will still want to be with Slo Jo, who will be assistant shift manager at the local Jiffy Lube and living at home still. Or in prison.

15. 15
    ashley24
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Something was off with Barb, that house is no where near safe for Jace. The 2 dogs, but the pool that has no fence. And we see how all the adults act around him…drinking beer, wine and smoking ciggs. Poor Jace, had that child been put up for adoption he’d have a great life.

    And I don’t blame Kailyn for being sad, she has no family. I can’t believe her mom abandoned her like that…ignores her number. The girl has no one except a cousin and half sis that live many states away. She’s doing really good for herself. She’s the only success on the show.

    Chelsea is an idiot. She better find a rich man STAT. She’ll never amount to anything. That’s all I have to say about her.

16. 16
    Tx gal
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Thanks for the funny recap. I can’t stand watching anymore, your recaps are so much better.

17. 17
    kthxbai
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    @Madelyne27 It’s not a bed. It’s an ergonomic workstation. That just happens to be repurposing friendly. For when you happen to get sleepy in a professional manner.

    I have that same problem. Of thoughtless neighbors that are so caught up in their lawn care addiction they don’t even think about me.

    Josh’s mom is perfect. Her hair is fried, she has rooster bangs, and she’s carrying a jug of red wine around with her…they all enjoy watching Jace almost drown in the pool

    Have I said how much I ❤ that you’re recapping this show?

    I think they made Barb get some meds too. And the scenes where she’s not hollering are when she took them.

    You’re right Season 4 should break even Teen Mom trashiness records. Everybody’s probably already seen where Leah ends up marrying pipeline Jeremy. And Corey marries some random girl right back.

    Not sure if we’ll get to see Kail marry Javi or Jenelle marry Courtland and heroin. But we might get to see them meet. And have a 1st date. So we can decide if it’s as romantic as the Leah and Jeremy story. And what all they do to their Facebooks.

    Here’s 1 of Chelsea’s most recent Tweets:

    “Red sour patch kids are my faaaavoritest”</b

    In OG Teen Mom news Ryan proposed to Maci on Twitter. You can’t make this stuff up.

    And it looks like they went to a club. This was on Maci’s Facebook page:

    So I met Macy and Ryan for the first time tonight and I’ve never been so disrespected in my whole life my friend went up to Ryan and said my friend is a big fan she wants time say hi and he said I don’t give a …. what your friend wants don’t effin touch me and flipped us off… I actually cried in the club what a horrible person!

18. 18
    Hmama
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Hahahaha

19. 19
    Madelyne27
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    @kthbai – okay, so Ryan is a douche to a chick at a club… but WHO is a big fan of Ryan except for an idiot? I’m sorry she cried at the club, but i’ve cried at clubs before… for different reasons (and often no reasons.)

    i also follow all of them on twitter. Chelsea is an idiot… she’ll tweet “haha”… like in response to nothing. so no one knows what she’s laughing at, but now i’ll assume it’s sour patch kids.

    just finished recapping Cheer Perfection. I can’t count how many times i misspell “Team Mom” with “Teen Mom”.

20. 20
    kthxbai
    Posted December 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    @Madelyne27 I was hoping somebody would say it’s a hoax. I didn’t know Ryan had fans. Much less 1s that would brag about crying over him in public.

21. 21
    Mimo
    Posted December 28, 2012 at 7:33 am

    @Madelyne – On the GED question, my son dropped out of high school at 16. He only had enough credits to qualify as a Freshman. Had to wait 2 years before he could take his GED (have to wait until the class you should have graduated with graduates). Two weeks later, with no study or practice tests, he went in and took all parts. He passed all parts on the first try. Now, grant you, his problem was drugs, and not that he was dumber than a door knob, although, you know, maybe his taking drugs does indicate that he was dumber than a door knob. Anywhoooo, with all the “studying” she has been doing, can’t fathom her not having passed a practice test.

22. 22
    caligal
    Posted December 28, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Heroin? I thought weed was the problem. Or is weed code for heroin? Anyway, next season should really be good!!

    http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jenelle-evans-husband-courtland-rogers-blames-her-ex-kieffer-delp-for-her-heroin-addiction–20122812?utm_source=dailynewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter

23. 23
    Dizzle
    Posted December 29, 2012 at 10:32 am

    I’m catching the rerun now. The feathers, I just can’t. Hilarious recap.

24. 24
    KJN
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Awesomely funny recap! I ‘specially enjoyed the captions under the pictures. Made me LOL quite loudly several times. I forgot you were doing Cheer Perfection, too. I will have to mosey on over there and check it out when people aren’t screaming at me to get off the computer and watch more crap t.v. with them. It’s Sunday so…RHOA, yo!

25. 25
    Madelyne27
    Posted December 31, 2012 at 10:51 am

    fun things i read over the last week… jenelle and courtland almost got a divorce bc she left the house at 3AM to “hang with a friend” until 7AM and he didn’t know where she was. thankfully he took to twitter. now, with those kind of visiting hours, i’m thinking we’ve got some harder drug problems.

    chelsea is currently enrolled in black beauty hair college.

    leah sent out a v disturbing christmas card of jeremy kissing her baby bump, or crotch… it was a debatable photo.

    kailyn remains somewhat normal. i read most of this on wetpaint.com… and the writer for teen mom 2 totally kisses up to the moms and thinks jenelle is on the right track. i want her on next season too.

26. 26
    caligal
    Posted December 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

    MSNBC is reporting that after a mind-boggling commitment of 26 days, Jenelle and Courtland are divorcing. Who had less than 30 days in the Gasmii divorce pool?

27. 27
    Classy Drunk
    Posted December 31, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    Hold on Jenelle! power thru! I had 37 days!!!