MJ is still on her balcony spying on Ryan and Dalis. Dalis is really good with Bentley and I’m sure that’s killing Maci. Ryan decides to go ahead and call Maci and get this thing over with. Ryan calls her and asks if she wants to come down and hang with Bentley.
“I’ll be right down. I’ll meet you at the purple and pink umbrella right behind you.”
“What umbrel… WTF?”
Maci rounds up her posse to go down and intimidate Dalis. It’s like the opening to Reservoir Dogs only instead of it being a group of badasses in skinny ties, it’s a gaggle of idiots with thunder thighs peeking out of unnecessarily short shorts. Maci acts as though Dalis doesn’t exist and bends down to over-excitedly greet Bentley. If I didn’t hate Maci, this next part would have my heart break for her, but I do hate Maci so… Maci’s intention is to show Dalis how much more Bentley loves her, but that plan totally backfires. Bentley wants nothing to do with Maci and cries when Ryan and Dalis leave. You know you’re a miserable person when even your child wants nothing to do with you.
I know exactly how you feel, Bentley.
Ryan finally introduces Maci and Dalis. Dalis is very gracious about it and Maci acts like the bitch she is. I’m sure it’s killing her that Dalis is really cute and has no acne or orange makeup.
Maci takes her posse to go give Bentley back to Ryan, because Bentley won’t have anything to do with her. The final burn was that Bentley peed all over her. Bwahahahaha!
Her friends ask her if she’s sad, but Maci says she feels bad about being selfish. Yeah, right. She is annoyed that Dalis is nice and says it would have been a lot easier for her had Dalis been a bitch. Well, they can’t all be like you, Maci.
Back in Malibu, Amber prepares for The Visit. JJ breaks the news to Amber that the courts will not allow Leah to be with both of her parents at the same time. That just breaks my heart. I realize that Amber and Gary are both annoying, hot messes, but that poor little Leah… I wish I could take her.
Gary arrives and JJ tells him the same news. Gary asks if he’s allowed to go into Amber’s room and they tell them “no”. I’m pretty sure it’s because they’re afraid Gary will say something stupid and Amber will unleash the fury of Hell on him and they won’t get there in time.
Amber leaves Gary there so she can go spend some time with Leah. She gets Leah out of the car and takes her on the swings. Leah is really happy to see her mommy. I have nothing snarky to say. Sorry, Gasmii.
Tyler’s freaking out because Butch isn’t answering his phone. He plans to tell Butch that if that happens again, he’s out of their house. He can’t understand why, as a 19 year old boy, he should have to babysit his 50 year old father. You shouldn’t, Tyler. That’s the problem.
Back in Ft. Lauderdale, Farrah seems to have decided to parent Sophia with the same method she uses on that poor doggie.
“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows but Jesus.”
Farrah is getting gussied up to take Sophia to the zoo and does the dumbest thing she could do – she calls Debra and solicits birthday wishes. Debra questions her about the new guy she’s dating and, of course, Farrah gets pissy and hangs up on her. At least she didn’t say “you’re fucking annoying me” this time. I really hope that Sophia treats her like crap and pushes her away when she gets older. Maybe she can feel the pain she inflicts on her mother.
Sophia and Farrah show up at the Zoo. She requests that they drive her and Sophia around the zoo, because it’s hot and she shouldn’t have to carry her daughter or, God forbid, push her in a stroller. Then, they get onto a carousel and she bitches about the lack of music. Anything else to complain about? Yep, she complains at a freakin’ giraffe about taking all the food. Suddenly, shots ring out and Farrah drops to the ground.