Back at Amber’s, she’s “packing” to move into her new place. Instead, she had a room with a bunch of junk in there and some empty boxes thrown on top. It looks like the way someone like Cher from Clueless would think packing works.
A glimpse into Amber’s brain.
I’m not a fan of packing myself and am dreading having to pack here over the next two weeks. But, at least I don’t live completely alone and have an entire room dedicated to junk. WTF.
She claims to have been making an effort to get along with Gary, which means there will be a full 2 second countdown before she blows up at him. He calls and says he wants her to come see his new place, but that there will be some ground rules. And it happens. She loses it. The rules are that they can’t fight with each other. Well, seeing as how Amber can’t not scream at people and Gary can’t not be all Passive-aggressive Instigator Man, I’m sure this is going to work out just fine.
Gary is torturing yet another unfortunate shirt. Doesn’t he realize they have shirts that are larger than XL? He needs like a 4X. It’s so hard to focus on what’s going on because Gary never seems to not be literally busting out of his shirts. I have no problem with fat (except my own). My man is a big guy and I think he’s hot stuff, but he also is built big and has a great face. He also wears clothes that fit and he doesn’t have a nicer set of knockers than me. And he’s not an asshole (most of the time).
Gary shows her his bedroom and she immediately thinks it’s horrible. Not sure if her problem is the paint or the smell, but I honestly think she just feels the need to be a bitch about it. He takes her out to the huge backyard and tells her he’s going to get a hot tub. I hope it’s one of the extra large ones or else he’s going to be in there all my his lonesome. Is anyone else’s mental image of Gary in a hot tub similar to Winnie the Pooh in the tree hole? Amber immediately scolds him for not wanting a swing set, but he says there’s a park at the end of the block. Yeah, but still, Gary. Get the girl a swing set, because you know you and your mom can’t make it to the end of the block without taking the car.
So, they sit down and Gary goes over some classes that Leah is going to be taking soon. He tells Amber that her part of it is $400. Damn! That’s a lot of dough (no pun intended). Amber screams that she can’t afford $400. What?! OK, *I* can’t afford $400 for some cooking classes just to keep my child occupied. But I’m not bringing in MTV-sized checks as their #1 trainwreck. Gary tells her that not only did he already tell her about this, but he knows she can afford it. Teehee.
Gaaarrreeeeyyyah! How am I supposed to pay that AND get my entire body covered in jewel pimples and buy cases of gigantic eyelashes?