The Amazing Race Season 20 Finale: Part I

Recaps

By Fran and Berry | Tuesday, May 8, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 11 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Amazing Race, Recaps

Can you freakin’ believe it?! We’re on the last episode of Season 20 of The Amazing Race already! What is Fran gonna watch now for her last three months of bed rest? She’s actually been “couch-ridden” since week five. She told me her doctor said it was crucial. Anyway, on to the finale!

We started with eleven teams for a race around the world! After a lot of drama and one pervy oiled up guy in a bathtub later, here’s who’s left:

Team Blowup (Dave and Rachel)

Team Boy Guns (Art and JJ)

Team Reality (Rachel and Brendan)

Team Second Chance (Ralph and Vanessa)

201205081008

Remember them? Me neither!

Phil reminds us about the drama filled U-Turns, all the relationship issues, the crying and every time someone hurt themselves. Thanks Phil! Your soothing half accent makes everything sound good.

Cochin, India is the city of harmony. And that’s where we’re starting off our big finale. Team Blowup leaves first and is on their way to Hiroshima Japan. Once there they must immediately leave and go to Miyajima Island. Dave says his relationship is worth more than a million dollars. Too bad he has to choose. And he will have to choose. I bet he chooses the money. He says he doesn’t view Rachel as his wife he views her as his teammate, his equal, his peer and his soldier. Then what the hell is a wife??

Next to leave is…it doesn’t matter, because they’re all on the same flight. In fact, is didn’t matter so much AR didn’t even show the teams leaving, they just cut to them on the plane.

Second Chance Vanessa has a really bad swollen ankle. I mean, really bad. Like pregnant Fran bad! That’s probably one of the reasons she is couch-ridden. And why I need to make lots of Peanut M&M runs.

201205081010

“I’m feeling crazier than normal today!”

Reality Rachel is excited to be on her way to Hiroshima, Japan. Probably because she’ll only be the second worse thing to ever happened there.

And they’re off the plane! Teams try to use the Japanese bus ticket machine. Be careful, don’t accidentally buy some used panties instead. It is Japan!

Team Reality can’t get their ticket in time and they miss the bus with all the other teams on it. When they finally get on a bus they aren’t even sitting next to each other and have a full on Reality style fight while Rachel cakes on make-up. I wish I could defend Americans, but no, this is us to a T.

The other three teams get off the bus and Ralph asks what the fastest train to get him to Miyajima Island is. Um, I don’t think any train that takes you to an island is going to be very fast. Or dry. Team Reality catches up and Brendan made friends with a dude on the bus who gave them all the inside scoop and they are immediately on their way to the island.

And…three teams are on the train/submarine? to the island. But three different teams. Team Blowup are the ones left behind this time. They are gonna be twenty minutes behind. Dave is PISSED!!

Bummer, the train didn’t go underwater like some awesome Disney ride. The teams are off the train buying tickets to a ferry. It’s the last one of the night and Team Blow Up is left behind again! Maybe the island doesn’t open until morning. Oops, I guess twenty minutes was a big deal. Don’t worry everyone, Dave takes it out on Rachel.

201205081019

Use a subway pass or be a respectful human being?

Team Blowup gets a room for the night to sulk in and the rest of the teams arrive at the island. Brendan yells to search the grounds for the clue and Rachel literally starts looking in the grass. She says she’s searching the ground but can’t find anything! Brilliant. And….they see a sign that reads “Your clue arrives with the Rising Sun.” It’s true, the island isn’t open yet!

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Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

11 Comments

  1. 1
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    You think you hate Rachel and Brendan? You’ve only sat through 12 hours of these two. I sat through an entire summer of BIG BROTHER with Rachel and Brendan AND IT WAS ON THREE TIMES A WEEK!

    All these people saying, “Oh, poor Rachel. Vanessa is so mean to her.”

    Uh, Rachel deserves everything she gets. That “event hostess”: which is code for HOOKER in Vegas — is now an AMAZING RACE loser. I wish PHIL would have kicked her FAT ass off the stage and said, “GO back to Vegas you ugly, old skank and take your border patrol hating, small penis (I’ve seen the photos), “always a student” boyfriend with you.”

    Felt bad for Ralphie and Vanessa. It was painful to watch her running and jumping. It wasn’t her fault. They just got dealt a bad hand.

  2. 2
    trixiebell
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    I just noticed the “about the author” tab and found out that you are not the real Fran and Berry from Amazing Race 9. That explains how “fran” can be pregnant. I wondered all season about that.

  3. 3
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Blowup Rachel was friggin’ adorable this entire episode. From Dave’s initial schpiel (where she kept saying “soldier” over and over again until he conceded) to her “poopy pants” comment (and her multiple smackdowns of Dave in the second half), I think I fell in love with her a little bit. Too bad she’s married to such a humongous douchewad.

    I understand disliking BB (I dislike them myself), but the simple fact is, being a catty bitch to someone who has done NOTHING to you makes you more unlikable, which is why I hated Team Eleventieth Chance more than Team BB.

    I hated them even MORE because their nasty attitude had me rooting for Team BB to beat them. Since I hate Team BB, that put me into a bit of a quandary, making me hate Eleventieth chance even MORE. It’s a vicious cycle. Too bad Vanessa couldn’t have shown half the heart the rest of the race that she showed this episode — I might have actually been cheering for her instead of wanting her to lose.

    All told, outside of Bopper and Barfer and Blowup Rachel, this season was a whole lot of boring teams, and a whole lot of unlikable ones. Not a stellar season by any stretch of the imagination. Especially when it came to the final 4 and I didn’t like any of the teams (except for one member of one of the teams).

  4. 4
    Chicken Lips
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Am I the only one rooting for Border Patrol (or was rooting for Border Patrol) during the second half? Not because they are awesome or deserving of the win, but only because they gave Bopper and Mark part of their money they won one leg. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t be sad if a big sinkhole swallowed all the teams up on the way to the hotel after the pit stop.

    I did like Blowup Rachel when she started talking back to Capt. Dillweed, but it was about 14 legs to late for me to actually cheer for her.

    Team Kentucky for All Stars!

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    @trixiebell: I found out last season was shocked, I tell ya, shocked! This was pre-pregnancy so they even deeper in character…it was seamless. After, I found out the weren’t the real Fran and Berry I felt duped. Then I loved it because, boy, are they committed.

    Keep up the good work guys!

  6. 6
    Clair Clair
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    I stalked… I mean checked them out a few months ago on IMDB.

    Great recap. Pat your belly for me, Fran!!

  7. 7
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Mr. D said of Brendan, “. . . small penis (I’ve seen the photos).”

    Uh, I’ve seen the photos too. Just WHAT are you packing that you think he’s a tiny dicked guy?

  8. 8
    JimbobJones Jimbob Jones
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    “Am I the only one rooting for Border Patrol (or was rooting for Border Patrol) during the second half?”

    Yes.

    ;-)

  9. 9
    zerocool
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    He must be psychic because everything Jimbob Jones said is what I was thinking!!

  10. 10
    carol
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    Out of the four final teams, I was definitely rooting for Border Patrol. Reality Rachel and Second Chance Vanessa are both evil b***hs. Rachel is just as catty and mean, some of the things she was saying in the PI were awful. And the way she acts all the time, it is such a cry for help (no pun intended). Since she totally DVRed her Big Brother time and watched it all, you could tell she knows how to play for the cameras. There were a couple of times that after doing something, she would quickly look directly into the camera.

    I know someone has asked this earlier in the season, but what happens if a team wins a trip during this race by coming in first, but they break-up, no longer friends, etc. Who gets the trip? Do they have to pay taxes for the trips/prizes they win?

    Can wait for part two! I will admit, I was yelling at my computer while watching.

  11. 11
    Theo
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Funniest tvgasm comment ever: She’s the second worst thing to happen to Hiroshima. Priceless.

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