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Greetings, Gasmii! First of all, a big THANK YOU to Dashley for covering my ass (again) on this week’s minicap. It’s been a busy week at my job an I was working 12 hour days at the beginning of the week. Anyway, Dashley stepped in a rocked it out like the boss she is and gave us all a great minicap. So, here is the cookies and alcohol I promised:
So, let’s get right into it. Apparently, the “three-hour live finale” that they’ve been prepping us for is just a studio full of women watching “The Bachelor.” I guess they want them all to be ready when it’s time for the “After the Final Rose” portion of the evening. Chris Harrison comes out and the ladies in the audience are cheering. Really? For Chris? Huh. He tells us that they just got some late breaking news about Sean’s new relationship. It could provide “one of the most beautiful moments in bachelor history.” I hope it means that the new couple broke up immediately after the show wrapped.
Based on the cheers from the audience, it seems like everyone is on Team Lindsay. Then again, I’ve never been able to judge applause. So, let’s go to the show for real. Sean is getting dressed because that’s how every episode starts. He is excited for his family to arrive in Thailand because he thinks they’ll help him decide between Lindsay and Catherine. Snark aside, Sean’s niece and nephew are freaking adorable. Can we just hang out with them for the episode. Smith, Sean’s nephew, is my favorite person ever because he looks right at Sean and says, “Emily didn’t pick you!” In 15 seconds I’ve grown to like this kid more than I ever liked Sean.
Sean takes this moment in stride and he tells his family that they’ll be meeting Catherine first. Why do Sean’s parents have such thick southern accents but he rocks that midland non-accent? Anyway, Sean’s mom says that, if he’s going to propose to either Catherine or Lindsay, he needs to already know in his mind who he’s going to pick. Mama Sean makes a really good point there. It’s probably a bad idea to propose to one woman mere days after talking about how strong your feelings are for another woman. Sean tells us that he does believe that his wife is here and then he gets Catherine for her
interview chance to meet the family.
Catherine tells us that she’s nervous to meet Sean’s family because there is a chance that she will be a part of this family forever. She really is the only person in the world who thinks that there is a chance that either she or Lindsay will really marry Sean. It’s cute how naive these contestants have been. Anyway, there are hugs all around as everyone greets Catherine. Sean’s sister even calls her “lovely.” Doesn’t “lovely” mean the exact opposite in the South?
Catherine talks about how she used to play football in high school, but then broke her arm so her mom wouldn’t let her play any more. Catherine then became a cheerleader an got hurt more than she ever did playing football. When asked about what surprised her the most about the show, Catherine gives out the standby answer of, “I’ve learned so much about myself and by capacity for feelings.” No, sweetie, you didn’t learn anything about yourself. You got on a TV show, you got to go on a lot of cool trips for free, and then made out with a pretty attractive man for a few weeks. Don’t pretend this is some life changing experience. It’s a reality show where you were part of a harem.
Mama Sean takes Catherine away to talk privately. She wants to see that Catherine has passion. This is where we find out that Sean actually gave Catherine a few of his own nerd notes. Why did we not see this the entire season? That would have at least given us some clue about Sean and Catherine’s relationship. Apparently, that’s when Catherine knew that she had true feelings for Sean. She goes on to say that she knew last week that she was falling in love with Sean. Catherine also admits that she would say yes if Sean proposed. Wait a second. Nowhere in there did Catherine say she was actually in love with Sean. She said she was falling in love with Sean. Those are two very different things. You probably shouldn’t think about getting married until you’re actually in love with someone.