The Bachelor Recap: Now I’m Free – Free Fallin’

14 Comments

1. 1
   kdognatl
   Posted January 17, 2013 at 11:31 am

   Great recap Pope! I loved your comment about how rough Kacie looked. I thought the same thing when she came out and could not believe she was only 25/26?! There is noone I really like or really dislike….yet. Look forward tomore of your recaps.

2. 2
   juddfan
   Posted January 17, 2013 at 1:25 pm

   How refreshing to have a male commenting on this . . . show . . .

   Have to confess that Sean is one of the nicest B’s yet . . . I smiled many times throughout this, I’m ashamed to admit. I don’t really have a type either, Pope, but it’s safe to say bald guys with big bellies spin my head way more readily that literally anyone . . . hee . . . I said literally!!!

   I think there’s some good girls on the show . . . it’ll be hard for him to pick, me thinks!

   I think Kacie is cute, as well as Desiree. I like Sarah, but her voice grates a little . . . I too hope she can drop talking about her arm. I really like Robin too . . . And Leslie has an awesome smile, makes me smile just watching her smile.

   Can’t wait to see Tierra fall down the stairs . . . how insensitive and shallow of me, but weeeee!!!!

3. 3
   PopePhilly
   Posted January 17, 2013 at 1:50 pm

   @kdognatl: Like juddfan said, I think Kacie is cute. However, she definitely doesn’t look like she’s 25. At the moment, I’m pretty annoyed with a few people, but I’m not sure I hate them. It’s hard to make a decision because we don’t know any of them yet.

   @judffan: You used literally correctly. You are still in my good graces.
   Also, did you just call me a dude? If so, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m totally rocking a vaj.

   All I’m going to say about Tierra falling down the stairs, “Some people are like slinkies: not really good for anything, but it’s still fun to watch them tumble down the stairs.”

4. 4
   Madelyne27
   Posted January 17, 2013 at 7:20 pm

   I can’t move forward with the show without knowing how Stacy hooks her bra or applies deodorant… i can barely do either with two hands… well, i hardly do either anyway. but the political correctness of her getting the first date was awkward to watch. i liked sean before, but so far everyone has made me cringe this season. kacie is the worst.

5. 5
   WinWin
   Posted January 18, 2013 at 7:17 am

   I didn’t realize that was Tierra falling — I was hoping it was Kacie. She was kind of cute the first time around but she’s turning out to be the bitchiest of the bunch. Really nasty. And she’s got weird poodle-like lips.

   Speaking of… Selma’s doc clearly went a little overboard with the nosejob. She doesn’t actually say what her culture is (let’s assume she’s still Christian, because there ain’t no way Sean would ever be interested in anything else, whatever color they may be), but I’m assuming a prominent nose was part of that.

   And meanwhile, there’s Sarah who goes out of her way to show off her stump. Does this girl not own anything with sleeves? Nothing? And why not wear a prothesis? She has enough of an arm left where the docs could easily have given her a working mechanical hand. Anyway, since I’m not into acrotomophilia, I’ll be happy when she gets booted off the show. Ugh.

   I think the whole Amanda thing is a setup. They seemed to show the same shot over and over again. And it’s easy enough to cut away anything she might have said. I’m assuming she really pissed off the producers and they’re getting their payback. Maybe she quits?

   Lastly — it’s pretty obvious everytime Sean kisses (as per his contractual requirement) one of these girls, he’s really closing his eyes and dreaming of Arie. This guy clearly just stepped out of a gay porn photo shoot.

6. 6
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted January 18, 2013 at 7:29 am

   I can’t move forward without knowing, if you lost your hand, HOW IN THE WORLD would you ever decide which prosthesis was right for you? Do you go with the time-honored hook, or do you try for the articulated, metal Terminator hand?

   Can Stacy get adult attachments for that thing in case she makes it as far as the Fantasy Overnight Fuck Date? (I started out that line as a joke, but the more I think about it, the Bachelor producers would TOTALLY not be above keeping her around for the fantasy date simply to have someone–be it Sean, Stacy, or maybe during a “most shocking but sensitive interview in Bachelor history!!!!!” with Hostdouche Chris Harrison–bring up whether she’s anxious about being able to “perform” with only one hand.

7. 7
   PopePhilly
   Posted January 18, 2013 at 9:40 am

   @Madelyne27: I’m assuming you mean “Sarah” when you say “Stacy.” I’m not sure about who she’d hook her bra, but I’ve done deoderant one handed (I had a cast over all by my thumb and forefinger a while back). It’s awkward, but it’s doable. Also, I’m not entirely convinced that Sean picked Sarah just because he was trying to be nice to the chick with one arm. They got along pretty well on the first episode – he even gave her one of the pre-ceremony roses. I’m thinking he likes the fact that he would have to protect her (his words) and be a provider.

   @WinWin: Selma is Iraqi and Lebanese. As for Sarah, I don’t know that she’s purposely trying to show off her stump. They are in Southern CA and it was filmed in the fall, so it’s probably just warm (at least during the day). She’s young and kind of gorgeous – a lot of dresses that will show off her figure would be sleeveless. I’d also imagine she doesn’t use a prosthetic because she was born without her arm. She’s never known life with it, so for her, it might just be easier to get along the way she always has.

   @NotWithoutMyTV: I’m going to assume you also mean “Sarah.” As for her “being able to perform,” she’s already told us that her lack of a hand doesn’t mean she can’t properly love a man.

8. 8
   Pikey578
   Posted January 18, 2013 at 1:12 pm

   Love my “diddly-squat” captcha code!

   I thought Brooke was gorgeous and was sad to see her leave. I also liked that way the conversation went with Sean and Robyn – he might have been aware of the question she might ask ahead of time but I don’t think his answer was rehearsed. I think he was being genuine here. I read that there was no sex in the fantasy suites this year and that Sean has reclaimed his virginity. I don’t know how someone would go about doing that…

9. 9
   kthxbai
   Posted January 18, 2013 at 4:18 pm

   @PopePhilly OMG That screen cap of Tierra you put looks just like Jane Seymour! And not a real long time ago either.

   Sarah could have more arms than Shiva and still deserve the vocabulary word of vapid. Plus she’s got that SoCal long blonde headed skinny look. That deserves the vocabulary words of templated and ubiquitous.

   She ends up being not just a 1 arm girl. But also a 1 trick monkey. Since all she ever says is that she’s got 1 arm. When it’s really 1 and a half anyway.

   @WinWin There’s a bazillion Xtian religious people that speak Arabic. Every 1 of those Abraham flavor religions got launched where it ended up being a popular language. Selma reminds me of Tami from the 1st season of RHOC. That’s Mexican and white. So at 1st I was thinking she looked like that from mixed blood. But I think you guys are right and her look’s not from ancestor blood. But operating room blood.

   Speaking of religious people. The 1s that’ve taken up The Bachelorian religion want Kacie to win so bad! Because she and Sean both come from ultra conservative religious families that don’t have sex. Which is how come she got kicked off of Ben’s season.

   So now the Bachelorians have decided that it was so she and Sean could get divinely matched up by their pope Chris Harrison. That’s Mike Fleiss’s vicar on tv.

10. 10
    itchy
    Posted January 19, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    I thought Ben dumped Kacie when he discovered what an absolute psycho control freak her dad was? Because she’s clearly the girl who cheerfully serviced half the football team in high school. If only just to spoil things for all the other girls’. Sure, \technically\ she may still be a virgin…

    Anyway, if my hunch about Sean is right, Sarah’s arm doesn’t need a prothesis, sexy or otherwise. Just a gallon jar of KY jelly. It’ll slide right in.

11. 11
    Dashley
    Posted January 21, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    I think I’m going to email Flipit now to ask if I can be in charge of January 2013 Comments of the Month if we do them again in December this year, just so I can ensure that PopePhilly is credited for saying that she’s “totally rocking a vag.” Also, I think I’m going to steal that for use in my personal life.

12. 12
    PopePhilly
    Posted January 21, 2013 at 5:18 pm

    @Pikey578: I never understand the “reclaiming his virginity” thing. I would probably respect him more if he would just say, “I’m not a virgin and I kind of regret that I had sex before I was married. I’m going to wait until I’m married to do it again.” At least it would be honest.

    @kthxbai: The show has just started here. I’ve got my wine ready to drink every time Sarah mentions her lack of her arm.

    @itchy: I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Nicely done.

    @Dashley: No need to steal the phrase. Use it as much as you possibly can.

13. 13
    Talk It Then
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 7:51 am

    Crazy ass Amanda needs to go home.. that woman is weird and she looks psycho! eeekkk….
    I like Tiara,, think she is pretty but she is kind of snotty. Hands down.. Sean is HOT… hope he finds what he is looking for!!

14. 14
    niknakflipflop
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 8:03 am

    Omg Itchy! Lol that’s so damn foul!