The Bachelor Recap: Tell Me Something I Don’t Know

20 Comments

1. 1
   snowshoecat
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 9:14 am

   @PPhilly, of course I am all in favor of cat pictures…

   Wait. Allow me to rephrase that: cat pictures are by far preferable to pictures of Sean rolling on beaches and sitting chastely in the smush room/fantasy suite with the candidates for Bachelorette.

   Carry on, and thank you.

2. 2
   Helena Handbasket
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 10:54 am

   Speaking of cat pictures, am I the only one who thinks that the “Grumpy Cat” thing is getting a little played out???

3. 3
   Meow
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 12:04 pm

   THANK YOU Helena Handbasket (great name, by the way)!!! I am soooo sick of those pictures! As far as the show goes, best part was the bloopers.

4. 4
   Dashley
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 12:46 pm

   This was the Most Dramatically Boring WTA EVER. They spent half the time – HALF! – on Tierra. Ugh. Which might have been acceptable if anything new or interesting regarding the Tierra situation came to light, but of course it didn’t. And why do they think I want to see a bunch of sorority girls shrieking over Sean and pawing at him? Was anyone else creeped out by that?
   Here’s how I see the Sean and AshLee thing: he probably said something incredibly misleading about how crazy he was about her, and AshLee translated it in her head to him saying that he didn’t have feelings for the other girls.
   Des is most definitely the Bachelorette. I, for one, can’t wait to find out if ABC neuters her brother when it comes time to meet the Family (like, pay him to keep his mouth shut,) or whether they encourage him to be a total dick to whomever she brings around.
   Thanks PP!

5. 5
   itchy
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 2:00 pm

   Hold on… I haven’t gotten past the first line of the recap yet… but there at least should be a screenshot of Sarah clapping with her stump.

6. 6
   itchy
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 2:16 pm

   Okay, done with the recaps… ah!

   The Trouble with Tierra is she’s just too damn stupid to make a good villain. Good riddance!

   I agree with DashLEE’s take on AshLEE’s misreading of Sean definitely something to lead her on… although, since he’s told every single girl on the show that she was “someone he could marry”, I’m not entirely convinced she misread him. Maybe she just took him too seriously.

   Des is much prettier with her forehead covered. Here’s hoping they fix that for the next Bachelorette. And give us plenty of long, lingering shots of her magnificent ass. She could beat out that Pippa chick.

   Although I’m still giving the award to best bikini-ready bod to Lindseed. Even with the tattoo on her buttcheek. Which kind of suggests she’s not as goody-twoshoes as she pretends. Wondering if she’s got anything pierced?

7. 7
   kthxbai
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 2:31 pm

   I believe Ashlee. The most insightful thing she said all season was that Sean’s like a frat boy.

   I think what happened is he decided to put his reclaimed v card on hold at least on her fantasy suite night.

   With his thinking the way it is, he might’ve thought since she’s older and got married in high school he might as well. But with her being the way she is, he had to talk her into it. And convince her that he liked her the best.

   Anyway aShLeE was royally pissed so she called him on it. And he had to sit there and lie like a rug to her face. Which didn’t full a very big % of viewers. Since there’s not a girl alive that hasn’t had some boy say the same kind of bullshit to try and get her to give it up.

8. 8
   kthxbai
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 2:33 pm

   oops. “full” should be “fool.” I still can’t find the edit button on here. I apologize for inconveniencing other people’s internet experience.

9. 9
   itchy
   Posted March 7, 2013 at 3:03 pm

   Flipit’s sitting on the edit button. ;-p

   Interesting…. I wonder if Ashlee did put out? She didn’t buy those tits just to keep them covered up. And since the whole “reclaimed virgin” thing is a sham anyway.

10. 10
    juddfan
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    @kthxbai, I agree 100% . . . she was a woman scorned, and say what you like about her, the way she handled telling Sean about Tierra seemed like an honest answer. I think she’s entitled to being pissed after being played, and is it me, or is it convenient that Sean is a born again virgin . . um . . . when did that happen, after fantasy suites.

    I think he knew he was dumping her, or perhaps needed more intimate information to make his decision about her, either way, see ya! Explains the stink eye completely, and the fact that she was giving him an out, saying, just say you don’t remember off camera convinces me even more. She may have taken him to serious, but alas, after booze and lounging, anything is possible.

11. 11
    Dashley
    Posted March 7, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Itchy. We’ve always been cool. Why ya gotta go and spell my name with two Es? That’s just not right. Totally uncalled for.

12. 12
    itchy
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 12:06 am

    Hey, look. I’m not here to make friends. I’m in it to win it. I needed to step up my game. And if I have to throw people under the bus… or something like that… raising my eyebrow…

    Sorry!

13. 13
    Dashley
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 12:23 am

    LOL… Don’t ever let anyone try to take away your sparkle, Itchy!

14. 14
    PopePhilly
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 11:15 am

    @snowshoecat: I wish that every time we got an extended shot of Sean making out with someone, ABC just cut over to Animal Planet’s show “Too Cute.” I’d watch the hell out of a show like that.

    @Helena Handbasket: I loves me some Tardar (Grumpy Cat’s name). However, I’m only a few steps away from being a crazy cat lady, so my opinion shouldn’t really count here.

    @Meow: The bloopers were definitely the best part, but that doesn’t say much. It was just a few minutes of things falling down.

    @Dashley: Sean really does say a lot of things that are easily mislead. You’re right – he’s told almost every single woman on the show that he could imagine a future with her. It’s a pretty well-known fact that the producers tell the winning lady that “The Bachelor” is proposing to the other girl and vice versa just to create dramatic reactions. I wonder if it was a member of the production team that told AshLee that Sean said he had no feelings for Catherine or Lindsay. They needed provide drama for these last few episodes somehow.

    @itchy: Thank you for agreeing with me on the “Des needs bangs” issue. Some people (myself included) just look better with some hair on their foreheads. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if AshLee popped Sean’s reclaimed cherry. She certainly acted MUCH clingier after the overnight date.

    @kthnxbai: Sadly, there is no edit button. It drives me nuts whenever I make typos.

    @juddfan: It certainly seemed to audiences (well, me, really) that Sean had the strongest relationship with AshLee. However, a lot of that could have been editing to make her elimination that much more shocking. Honestly, it seems like he has absolutely NOTHING with Catherine or Lindsay. I think back to last season and, as much as I hated it, Ben picking Courtney at least made sense. The viewers could see their relationship. I kept forgetting that Catherine was on the show until her first solo date in Canada and, even after her solo date, I kept forgetting about Lindsay. I guess they’re editing to keep us on our toes, but, no matter who Sean picks, I’m probably going to just say, “Really? If you say so.”

    @Dashley & Itchy: You both have sparkles! However, only one can be the sparliest. Now…FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!!

    Or, you know, trade snarky comments. Whichever you both prefer.

15. 15
    Dashley
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    As long as Itchy promises to respond whenever I wish him a “good morning,” then he can claim to be the sparkliest, and I’ll try to ignore his powerful eyebrow. Because that’s just the kind of girl I am.

16. 16
    AmyOops
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    You guys Crack. Me. Up. Awesomeness.

    I had the same though about AshLee – she must have given it up. It would also explain why Sean wasn’t just “feeling horrible for having to let her go”, but instead he was scared shitless that he banged Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and was giving her the heave-ho (no pun intended, heh heh).

17. 17
    itchy
    Posted March 9, 2013 at 4:22 am

    SHUT UP! SHUT UP! All of you are on my No Talk list! Every one of you! Now go get me some rice, woman!

    Oh wait. Wrong show. My bad…

    I find it interesting that you all feel he had more of a relationship with Ashtray. I got the feeling they knew each other from before — probably go to the same church, or the same Reclaimed Virgin Orgies.

    I agree, there’s nothing between him and Catherine. Other than having rather robust, albeit hairless chests.

    To me Lindseed is the only logical choice. She just fits the mold of what he considers a “wife.” There’s no need for a relationship beyond that, is there?

18. 18
    itchy
    Posted March 10, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Make it stop…. make it stop…

    Some fun inside info on the show: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/03/10/the-bachelor-ex-contestant-leslie-hughes-spills-nine-secrets-about-the-show.html

19. 19
    AmyOops
    Posted March 10, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    @itchy: Okay okay! I’ll get you your damn rice, Shamu!

    Sadly, he’s actually kind of growing on me with his sad stories and fantastic manipulation efforts.

    I’m rooting for Catherine because Lindseed makes me feel embarrassed to be of the same gender, but we know it’s gonna be her. Catherine is WAY too smart for Sean. She’d have to dumb down her vocabulary while he’s around, and having been there (never again!), I can tell you it’s so not fun. #IntelligenceRocks (sorry, I’ve been reading Brandi’s book, and she throws those Twitter hash-taggy-whatthefucks all over the place).

20. 20
    Sera
    Posted March 13, 2013 at 10:14 am

    I can’t really blame Des for having that positive attitude because even though we know a bunch of women in one house is bound to start some drama, we always believe that we might be the one to make a difference. I don’t think that any of the women actually hated Tierra; I think they were just fed up with her self-serving attitude and thinking she’s above everyone else. You don’t have to be best friends with all of the women but some semblance of control and an effort to get along is probably something they all expected. I was telling my co-workers that every time I saw Tierra on screen she was creating drama by having an accident, getting into it with someone, or being unnecessarily loud for no apparent reason. That would have gotten on my nerves pretty quick.