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It’s day 2 and a GROUP date for our bachelors. We find out that the guys are going to take their hand at sailing, I’ll be honest I zoned out during this part. There were two teams, yellow and red, and some how they all knew how to sail a fairly large boat, I think this race was rigged. Eventually the yellow tea wins and TO THE VICTOR GO THE SPOILS! Yes, a date with Emily!
The red team is dumbfounded by their loss and drive home dejected, also Charlie cries. It was helpful to know that Charlie was that kid in 5th grade that took gym class a little too seriously, and would eventually burn down buildings by 9th grade, sorry thinking of someone specific here. The red team, which consisted of Jef, Kallon, Ryan, and Arie all join Emily for a little poolside hang session. The majority of this trip looks like it was in the low 50′s and windy, so there isn’t much to be jealous of, because the company is lacking too. Emily takes the guys one by one and chats with them in an awkward blanket on the beach. Emily tells Arie that she’s thinking of him the most, like when she is sitting on the porch alone. A single mom with a nationally televised tv show is getting a lot of alone porch time? Someone find her a hobby! May I suggest Great Britain and their colonies, past and present? Whatever they make out for the majority of the time and Emily needs to calm down so she brings down GM (Gay Mormon) Jef.
Jef is telling Emily that he’s really starting to like her, if by her he means Chris Harrison, but it’s a new experience for him. Emily is so impressed by GM Jef she gives him the rose, meaning he’s safe from elimination! Emily chats up Ryan who is quickly attempting to become the break out star. Ryan tells Emily that he hopes she will be a trophy wife for him someday chasing around their children. Emily can’t get off that comment he made about her gaining weight last week so this talk goes nowhere fast.
Back at the suite, which at this point do the guys who are not going on dates have to spend the entire trip sitting in a 2 room suite at a hotel? Isn’t there a fire pit they can sit at? They tend to feel more comfortable in their element. Meanwhile we find out it’s time for the dreaded 2 on 1 date. Emily picks John aka Wolf aka that nick name is taking off and Nate, who up until now I didn’t think had vocal cords, but I guess he does. Unfortunately one of these two will have to pack their knives and leave. In this scenario they are both serial killers. The guys are equally bummed to be going on a 2 on 1 date and fear that they will be given the boot, but no time to wonder because Emily arrives and they are off! They do some dangerous cliff jumping which I’m not going to lie, probably involved a waiver being signed. This was good because it really solidified for me that Emily had that boob job done, before that I was just about 92% sure. This date isn’t standing out much until the mean join Emily in a CAVE for dinner. The cave is kinda cool and Emily remarks, who knew they had all THIS in Bermuda.
Like she’s some type of travel guru, careful Em, I will quickly remind you of the Colonial house comment heard round my apartment! The caves are cool but dinner is basically the last supper, yes in a Jesus kinda way. Emily struggles to make conversation with the guys and eventually gives up and takes Nate away for some one on one time. Nate and Emily plop down on a rock where Nate tells us he really likes his family! Me too! But Nate tells us his brother is the greatest person he’s ever met, and the tears just start flowing. Maybe the Charlie sailing race loss rubbed off on him a little too much. Emily gives her AFLAC duck awww, where her top lip does this weird thing that almost makes it meet her bottom lip and you kinda know Nate has sealed his own fate. John aka Wolf aka who cares plays the dynamic of the 2 on 1 date cool and casual, he said it’s been fun and he’s having a nice time. Emily returns to dinner and makes an obvious choice, time to say SEE YA to Nate. Emily tells Nate that she doesn’t envision a future with him, but he might have one with his brother! Ok she didn’t say the last part, let’s be honest that dude was a little creepy, good eye Em. Now if you could just stop handing out roses to the gay guy with $60 haircut.