Mouse is over at Mags’s house looking for an outfit for her non-date. Because surely Mags, who is 5’10” has clothes that will fit Mouse, who is 3’9”?!?! They can’t find anything that fits so they call Carrie to see what she has. Carrie has an idea, but can’t find the outfit she is looking for. So she figures The Dorrit has it. She goes into The Dorrit’s closet and thinks she has found the shoes that go with the outfit slated for Mouse- she opens a shoe box and finds the stolen hamster.
I realize these Connecticut kids lead somewhat sheltered lives, but seriously, The Dorrit thinks it is appropriate to keep a hamster in a shoe box at the bottom of her closet???? The Dorrit hears Carrie’s shriek and promptly hangs up the extention- she’s been listening to Carrie’s phone call the whole time. That’s my Dorrit!!!
Thankfully, Carrie, a PETA rep in her spare time, informs The Dorrit that she cannot keep the hamster in a shoe box.
On this episode of Pimp My Cage…
It needs to be fed and watered and in a proper cage. It needs a Habitrail!!! (although I gave my hamster a Habitrail and the f*cker bit me… repeatedly…maybe because I used to put him on my record player.) The Dorrit explains she didn’t think she would make it home with the hamster, she assumed she would get caught. The Dorrit STOLE the hamster. Carrie tells The Dorrit if she takes the Hamster back, Carri won’t tell Dad.
Carrie meets Sebastian on a park bench. Sheez, these kids don’t have a pizza place to meet or something?
I had your sister steal these for you from Caldor…
Sebastian surprises Carrie with her OWN set of headphones- they listen to the Cars together and then start to kiss.
Carrie says “As I kissed him, everybody’s opinions of him slipped away.” Then Carrie asks him where he learned to kiss like that? Sebastian tells her he had a good teacher. Carrie is like, YIKES, and runs away.
We cut to Mouse and Carrie in NYC- they are meeting up with Larissa and Seth.
A younger, cuter, less douchey John Mayer
Seth shows up- and he’s cute- not what I expected- and he goes to hug Mouse and she, like, c-blocks him. They are to meet Larissa at Franklin Furnace to see an art exhibit. It’s performance art- and the artist is named “Monica Penny.” Seth comments that she looks familiar… Larissa confirms she is a legendary porn star… that’s why Seth knows her. Anyway, Larissa explains she has reinvented herself and tonight she will “Take back the vagina.” If you put a penny in the jar, she will open her “vagina to you.” Yeah, that’s a REAL re-invention.
Sweeeet Jeeeesus Hellllllllp Meeeeeeee!!!