Dad is talks to a woman, who appears to be bored to tears, until she finds out he is a widower. Then she’s all over him like stank on a hanglow. This terrifies Dad- but he accepts her number, written on a cocktail napkin.
This dude needs some game
The friend wants to know how he scored that number and he tells him that all he did was say he was a widower. The friend thinks that is the greatest pickup line EVER and asks permission to use it.
My bologna has a first name it’s O S C A R
The Dorrit tries using a piece of bologna to lure her hamster out of hiding. Mags comes by with the teddy bear, and since Carrie isn’t home, she unloads her shit on The Dorrit. The Dorrit tells her that her relationship with Walt was really long and she had to let her pain out. The Dorrit is the 80’s Goth White Oprah. Mags knows she needs to to let the whole situation play out to acknowledge the significance of the relationship. The Dorrit tells her she will fix the bear, but Mags needs to find the hamster. The Dorrit sews Frankenbear back together but Mags does not find the hamster. Carrie comes home and wonders what the heck Mags is doing with The Dorrit???
Carrie waits up for her Dad to get home and when he arrives she tells him that they need to talk about his ban on Sebastian. She tells him that she values his opinion but she is going to make her own decisions and she is going to see Sebastian. Dad is like… oh no you aren’t. Carrie says “Why? Because he had an affair with a teacher???” Well yes, that’s one reason, his stupid haircut is another. Oh wait, sorry, I was channeling MY Dad.
Dad wants to know how Carrie knows about Sebastian’s Mary Kay LeTourneau situation, Carrie admits she read his files. Well, yeah, Dad is not too happy about that. A) It’s illegal B) She could jeopardize his career. This isn’t like Carrie, but she is now under Sebastian’s influence. Oh yeah, he’s a white-bread Svengali alright. Carrie argues that he is not a label on a file, but he’s a kid that made a mistake. Dad tells Carrie that he expects to her to make mistakes but he can’t trust her if she’s breaking into his files. “You are not the
Brenda Walsh Carrie Bradshaw I know.”
Pretty sure that is verbatim, 90210 when Jim forbids Brenda from seeing Dylan.
Brenda! I forbid you to see that boy!!!
The Dorrit lies on her bed missing her hamster. Dad knocks on the door- he has found the hamster. He scolds her for bringing an animal into the house without consulting him. The Dorrit tells him that she is taking him back to the store, and then comments “Mom was stupid to say I could have him.” Dad is like… wha, wha, what? She can keep the hamster… oh and he filled up the freezer with “Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza- Pepperoni.” The Dorrit informs him that she is a vegetarian and has been for an entire week.