The Carrie Diaries Recap: Kleptmaniacs, Curfews and The Dorrit

The Carrie Diaries

By MisRed | Tuesday, January 15, 2013 | 8:33 pm | 7 Comments
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Ok, this is sad, y’all.

She wore these Sunglasses at Night…

Dad bring Carrie to her dead Mother’s walk-in closet.  It is the first time the doors have been opened since the Mother died.  Dad will allow Carrie to select something from her Mom’s closet.  Carrie quickly chooses a green sundress.  Uh… not so fast sticky fingers- you can’t have that one- Mom wore that on her last birthday and Carrie will probably spill a Cosmopolitan on it by 2nd period.  Dad gives Carrie her mom’s sunglasses instead.

Carrie gets to school.  What is normally exciting is something she is dreading.  She is like “a virus that no one wants to catch.  A freak whose mother died.”  She is, however, faux consoled by Donna LaDonna.  You know Donna.  She’s the Donna of Donna LaDonna and the Jens.  Donna, generously, offers Carrie a “shoulder to cry on, fashion tips or mascara.”  Blech.  We have our first nemesis- Donna LaDonna and her scrunci.

Hold onto your neon…

Luckily, Carries spies her REAL friends!!  

It’s Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte

Mouse, Maggs and Walt (respectively Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda. I saw another recapper comparing Mouse to Miranda!?!?!  Mouse is worried about finding a good boyfriend, whereas Walt is the more sexually confused one, just like Miranda.  Right?)  Walt is very excited because he is wearing the SAME sweater Rob Lowe wore in Interview Magazine!!  (Note, said sweater is over a button down shirt AND a polo shirt!!! Whoever did this costumes, got that right on…although I might have tossed a turtle neck in there for good measure.)

Brenda and Kelly must be around here somewhere…

But wait, wait… here comes the new kid:  Dylan McKay.  Whoops!  I mean Sebastian Kidd.  He looks like a non-beat MacCauley Culkin.  Sebastian has been kicked out of THREE boarding schools!!  Omigod!!! All eyes are on Sebastian as he marches right over to Carrie and says hello.  He offers her his condolences about her Mom and says he will see her around, unless he get kicked out of this school too.

Carrie’s posse wants to know HOW she knows that studmuffin???  Carrie informs them, Sebastian went to the same swim club as she did, so that how they know each other.

Next scene, Maggs, Mouse and Carrie hang out in the cafeteria (just like Brunch on SATC) and Mouse informs the girls she has a boyfriend.  A boyfriend who is a freshman in college.  His name is Seth Glassman.  Sounds fake to me, Mouse.  Mouse informs them that she lost her virginity to Seth and it was like pushing a hotdog through a keyhole.  Ok, I did NOT need to hear that.  Also, it hurt so bad!!  Maggs disagrees- it wasn’t like this at all!!  #highschoolho  Carrie feels she is the last virgin on earth.  While she was grieving, he friends were falling in love.  Mouse suggests she ask Sebastian out.

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MisRed
About

Misred is an East Coast Gal and a jack of all trades.  Project Manager, Trained Chef, Amateur Writer, Professional Mocker, Devoted Wife and Mother of Furry Kids (dogs, not werewolves).  I spend my time doing all of the above, as well as making the necessary preparations for my eventual and eternal damnation in the fiery pits of hell.  I take comfort in knowing I'll have friends there... like Satan.

Check out my blog www.meabritapitandanitwit.wordpress.com

7 Comments

  1. 1
    ellemenop
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 8:20 am

    i never watched sex and the city because the concept annoyed me, but i watched this for some reason. nice advertising job with century 21 there — i live a few blocks away and damned if i didn’t have an itch to go buy some off-price designer brands. slick.

    i’m with you on this “dorrit” name — wtf?! is dorritos also a sponsor?

  2. 2
    ellemenop
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 8:25 am

    oh, and the hotdog being pushed into the keyhole? i would imagine that would be MUCH more painful for the hotdog than the keyhole.

  3. 3
    labowner
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 9:56 am

    Why isn’t SJP doing the voice over? The girls voice annoys me to no end.

    Was Carrie interested in law ever? Oh and no law firm would let her wear that god awful shiny silver dress into their offices.

  4. 4
    crankymom
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 11:06 am

    The name Dorrit comes from a Charles Dickens novel… But it’s a last name. Definitely a weird choice here.

  5. 5
    Clair Clair
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Thanks for recapping this show (which I probably won’t watch). Yes, Carrie said her dad left when she was young. I think it was on the episode where she starts working for Vogue. I was thinking maaaaybe he came back when the mom died but after reading the entire recap, it seems he was there all along. Apparently the writers went to the Desperate Housewives School of Continuity.

  6. 6
    TurtleGirl93 TurtleGirl93
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Okay, I’ve actually read Candace Bushnell’s books that this series is based on (yes, I even read the original SatC which inspired that show). TCD is trying to stay true(ish) to the books in that Carrie’s mom did die before the book began, but in the first book, Carrie was totally a Midwesterner and a senior in high school. I think this show is going to try to mesh the book-universe with the TV-universe. So far the characters seem pretty true to their literary counterparts, minus the cornfields and such.

  7. 7
    MisRed MisRed
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Thanks for the comments, guys! And thanks for the good insight. I think The Carrie Diaries were written after SATC so maybe Candace Bushnell wanted to give Carrie more of a fleshed out background. Although Carrie in SATC certainly seemed to have some Daddy issues, but maybe that was convenient for the direction of the series, and obviously, SATC nor The Carrie Diaries are not a page by page recreation of the books.

    Thanks Crankymom for the info on the possible origin of “Dorrit.” Although I’m glad Dickens wasn’t the inspiration for both Bradshaw daughters, otherwise we might be reading “The Chuzzlewit Diaries.” Clearly I should have spent more time reading the classics and less time hanging with those groovy Bradys!!!

    At any rate, thanks for reading and thanks for taking the time to comment.

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