Ok, this is sad, y’all.
She wore these Sunglasses at Night…
Dad bring Carrie to her dead Mother’s walk-in closet. It is the first time the doors have been opened since the Mother died. Dad will allow Carrie to select something from her Mom’s closet. Carrie quickly chooses a green sundress. Uh… not so fast sticky fingers- you can’t have that one- Mom wore that on her last birthday and Carrie will probably spill a Cosmopolitan on it by 2nd period. Dad gives Carrie her mom’s sunglasses instead.
Carrie gets to school. What is normally exciting is something she is dreading. She is like “a virus that no one wants to catch. A freak whose mother died.” She is, however, faux consoled by Donna LaDonna. You know Donna. She’s the Donna of Donna LaDonna and the Jens. Donna, generously, offers Carrie a “shoulder to cry on, fashion tips or mascara.” Blech. We have our first nemesis- Donna LaDonna and her scrunci.
Hold onto your neon…
Luckily, Carries spies her REAL friends!!
It’s Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte
Mouse, Maggs and Walt (respectively Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda. I saw another recapper comparing Mouse to Miranda!?!?! Mouse is worried about finding a good boyfriend, whereas Walt is the more sexually confused one, just like Miranda. Right?) Walt is very excited because he is wearing the SAME sweater Rob Lowe wore in Interview Magazine!! (Note, said sweater is over a button down shirt AND a polo shirt!!! Whoever did this costumes, got that right on…although I might have tossed a turtle neck in there for good measure.)
Brenda and Kelly must be around here somewhere…
But wait, wait… here comes the new kid: Dylan McKay. Whoops! I mean Sebastian Kidd. He looks like a non-beat MacCauley Culkin. Sebastian has been kicked out of THREE boarding schools!! Omigod!!! All eyes are on Sebastian as he marches right over to Carrie and says hello. He offers her his condolences about her Mom and says he will see her around, unless he get kicked out of this school too.
Carrie’s posse wants to know HOW she knows that studmuffin??? Carrie informs them, Sebastian went to the same swim club as she did, so that how they know each other.
Next scene, Maggs, Mouse and Carrie hang out in the cafeteria (just like Brunch on SATC) and Mouse informs the girls she has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who is a freshman in college. His name is Seth Glassman. Sounds fake to me, Mouse. Mouse informs them that she lost her virginity to Seth and it was like pushing a hotdog through a keyhole. Ok, I did NOT need to hear that. Also, it hurt so bad!! Maggs disagrees- it wasn’t like this at all!! #highschoolho Carrie feels she is the last virgin on earth. While she was grieving, he friends were falling in love. Mouse suggests she ask Sebastian out.