The Choice is pretty much the worst “dating” show ever and I will bet money that it has even fewer lasting relationships than The Bachelor (hey they had one successful marriage right?). The show has the most basic premise in that you have your horny contestants trying to hook up with pseudo celebrities. It’s like watching a real live version of Plenty of Fish. Let’s introduce our 4 bachelors competing for love:
During the first round, each girl has 30 seconds to sell herself and make one or more of the guys turn around to pick her based off her voice alone. I’m going to say this shit is rigged because the guys are facing the audience who hoot and holler loudly when more attractive girls are on stage. While we are on the subject of rigging, how come there are no fat chicks on this show? The girls are all mildly attractive (though some previously may or may not have been men) so where is the fun in that? Get a really fat chick with a hot voice up there because you know what, fat chicks need love too. Before each girl comes out they do a little shadow dance which is totally misleading. Every so often the shadow would be some girl with huge thighs and I would get excited for a fatty and then get let down once she actually walked out.
The shadow is a lie.
Once each guy has 3 girls on his team, the round ends. Pauly was the last one to select a girl on his team so his last choice was between two girls who had 15 seconds each to sell herself. He of course picks Alyssa who tells him that she installed a stripper pole in her living room and was a former calendar girl while Asia doesn’t really tell him anything. So with that the teams are all filled up and are as follows:
Romeo’s team consists of Lisa, Vanessa and Angeliese.
Jeremy’s team consists of Amber, Elizabeth and Rachael.
Jason’s team consists of Lisa, Nia and Annapurna.
Pauly’s team consists of Elyse, Donna and Alyssa.
Pauly’s girls and Alyssa (still not sure she is 100% one)
The next round is a Quickfire round where each girl has about 15 seconds with each guy. I think the guys are supposed to ask the girls questions but it is so hectic that it ends up with questions back and forth between the two. Some of them are stupid like favorite colors and things they like to do. I say stupid because does the answer really affect the outcome of whether you want to date that person or not? Honestly has anyone ever been dumped because they liked blue? Didn’t think so. Jeremy, being that he’s kind of a pervert, has Amber demonstrate how to milk a cow which she actually does…on national television. It’s bad enough that you are a contestant but now everyone knows how you milk the one legged sock and you didn’t even do a good job at it. Annapurna is so blitzed on Xanax or weed that she asks Jason if he feels like he is in a spaceship or maybe she asked when hers was picking her up. At the end of the round each guy eliminates the ugliest girl from his team that he regretted picking in the first place. Romeo sends home the hottest girl on his team, Vanessa, and even his sister tweeted him that he’s an idiot for doing so. Jeremy sends home Amber because she doesn’t know how to yank on it properly. Jason sends home Lisa who tells him “Next time, baby!” and Pauly sends home stripper pole Alyssa. I think it’s because she wasn’t tan enough and had man face.
Speed Round, totally useless…