Sloan offers Don an out by saying she might be wrong, she usually is, but Don’s all out of quips and just asks why she’s single. Sloan jokes that men are intimidated by her intelligence but with the slightest push admits it’s because Don never asked her out. I ignore the fact that she just as easily could have asked him out and bask in the very brief moment that I like this episode because while Don’s speechless, Jim and his potato face come in to cockblock.
Sloan tells Jim that Don and Maggie are moving in together and Jim acts like the right asshole he is, stuttering and hemming about how “great” it is. This gives Don time to gather his dickishness and quip that they’ll probably live among the hill people and Jim, duly embarrassed, leaves. Then, in the moment where he becomes dead to me, Don tells Sloan she’s wrong. He does want to commit to Maggie. Sloan and I are disgusted with him but after she leaves he looks like he might be reconsidering the whole Maggie thing. Hope springs eternal.
Back at the hospital and 40-year-old Mackenzie decides she has to play with Will’s IV (Why is he on an IV?) and knocks out the tube connecting to the bag. While Mackenzie acts like an asshole Will calls for the nurse then wonders why he’s wearing pajamas. Who cares. As the nurse comes in and Mackenzie blames Will Jim shows up and it’s all so…fussy.
Mackenzie keeps bleating questions at Jim who has no reason to be there but to rehash everything we already know about him and Maggie and Don and Lisa and didn’t care about the first time it all happened. Then Mackenzie gives Jim some hokum speech where she preens while shit-talking Will and Jim takes a moment to polish Will’s knob and tell him that the piece was “bullshit.” Well, now I know why the show had to go two minutes over, because that was vital.
This was completely irrelevant.
We continue down rerun lane as Will and Mackenzie talk about Don Quixote and how the story was supposed to be Will’s ending to Camelot before Mackenzie finally lowers the hammer that Nina Howard knows Will was high on May 1. As soon as she has a second source, she’ll publish the story and his career will end in disgrace. Will then poorly paraphrases my favorite quote from The World According to Garp and says he’s already disgraced so he’s pre-disgraced which means he’s disgrace-proof and goes back to eating his Jell-O. Not to be outdone, Mackenzie mangles her Cher line and tells Will to “snap out of it.”
In case this episode wasn’t maudlin and nonsensical enough, Jim goes to Charlie’s office to let him know Solomon killed himself. Jumped off the Queensboro Bridge. Charlie, for his part, just says “All right” but barks at Jim to call his parents once in a while and Jim’s all “Whatever.”
Wait, what did you just say? I’m piss drunk.