The Newsroom Recap: Springtime for Cairo and Madison

Sloan leaves and Mackenzie looks at a mock-up of the ethics story set to run in TMIand is perplexed. As she disconnects a call from Wade I look at the headline and WHAT. THE. FUCK?

It’s BOUNDARY you halfwits.

How can I take this show seriously if they haven’t even mastered spell check? Mackenzie’s equally offended, and she’s not even smarter than a fifth grader, and throws it away.

It’s the next morning and we’re with the morning hosts who are every Good Day host only 35% more attractive because they’re actors. It’s the entertainment and pop culture segment. They’re talking about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Bieber so the female host can “admit” she has Bieber Fever because girls are frivolous and then, out of the blue and for no reason, since no one really cares about cable news, anyway, the empty suit starts recapping the whole Will/Mackenzie/Wade dramz and gives the backstory about the email so Will can get all butthurt again. He’s very sensitive for someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone else’s feelings.

Realizing they have no b-roll of the Burger King headquarters to distract the suit the female host just hems and haws while trying to get him to shut up until Charlie calls down to their control room and gets patched directly into the suit’s monitor. While suit keeps explaining shit no one in his audience cares about, Charlie tells him he has ten seconds to throw it to commercial as gracefully as possible or he’s fired…and he doesn’t even need the ten seconds.

Science.

Mackenzie goes to Will’s office because everyone has to make sure Baby Fuckin’ Huey isn’t about to have a fit and he’s fine because it’s just dayside and she wasn’t ashamed to say she has Bieber Fever. God, he’s awful. Mackenzie smurfs over his feewings but he’s feeling magnanimous and tells her it’s okay. He’s berated her enough times that everyone at all the news shows at ACN knows it’s always her fault.

Out in the newsroom, it’s Maggie’s turn to be insufferable. She plops some gifts on Jim’s desk and loudly proclaims…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY. Since only Don and Charlie (and I’m not sure about Charlie) have lived a normal human existence, Jim’s all “Humina, humina…I had no idea it was Valentine’s Day. You shouldn’t have.” Maggie has to remind him that Valentine’s Day is on Monday and the gifts aren’t for him, they’re from him because Don planned a romantic evening for them. Oh geez. This is so stupid. Jim gets “confused” and asks if she means for Jim and Maggie and, really, Sorkin? Is there no other way to get them to banter?

Even Maggie, who’s not exactly Mensa, thinks this is moronic and tells him the evening’s for Don and Maggie but if Lisa doesn’t have a date she’ll ruin it. Why? Oh, I see. Because she’s a girl and doesn’t understand boundaries and ruined Maggie and Don’s Valentine’s Day last year. Blerg. So this year, Maggie’s engineering the “perfect” date for Lisa and all Jim has to do is let her pimp him out. Wasn’t she all scowly with Don about this last week? She confounds me.