Mackenzie’s about to go into what “News Night 2.0” is but Maggie reminds her she has to
ethnic stereotype Neal read a memo from IT about Outlook but she’s just a girl so she doesn’t understand what it means. The whole room turns to Neal because he’s Indian so, of course, he can explain it. Wow.
I hate you all right now.
Sadly, Neal does explain that their Outlook was upgraded to Windows ‘95 and they now have such cutting edge features as aliases and auto complete. Will continues down his obnoxious path to recite Neal’s full name before preening about it. For her part, Mackenzie, the “brilliant” and intrepid field producer, still doesn’t grasp the most basic features of Outlook. Rather than facepalm, Neal tells her to send an email, which she does…to the entire staff, calling Will racist, because I guess she’s also illiterate and didn’t realize she sent it to “Staff” instead of “Will.” Will pompously informs the staff that no one will lose his or her job to an undocumented worker while Mackenzie “adorably” knocks her white board off the easel.
Meanwhile, upstairs Charlie is forgoing drinking in favor of playing online poker with some 12-year-old. Ah, it’s good to be the king. Some snake slithers up to his office door. Charlie doesn’t even pretend he wasn’t just dicking around corrupting a minor, who still beats him. Heh. Charlie wants to meet with the snake, Reese, to discuss his daily “private” meetings with Will. Reese initially denies but course-corrects with each tidbit Charlie throws out.
Meetings? What meetings? Oh those meetings. They’re great, except they’re not.
Although good in theory, Charlie needs for the meetings to stop because they’re trying something new with News Night and Will’s such a pampered, spoiled baby that if he doesn’t get the exact news he wants to hear, he’ll hold his breath until he turns blue and run out of Charlie’s office screaming “You’re not my real dad,” and no one wants that to happen again.
Reese keeps arguing his point while customizing it to Charlie’s concerns, agreeing that they don’t want ratings to drive content, but what about telling Will that he’s seen a 10% increase since breaking the BP story, let alone how his ratings spiked after he lost his shit on Jenny the sorority girl. This gets Charlie’s back up but Reese is on a roll explaining all the ways the higher ratings are beneficial to ACN, including charging more for advertising, but Charlie just wants him to stop meeting with Will.
Reese throws out one more pitch that Will would hunt him down wherever he hid because Will’s the biggest ratings whore in ever. Charlie’s had it and just demands the meeting stop and not to call Will a whore again (well…) or he’ll punch out all of Reese’s teeth. Then he smiles which is even scarier because he looks deranged. Which might explain why he’s so irrationally loyal to Will.
Don’t let the bow tie fool you, Mister.
Mackenzie’s still fumbling through the pitch meeting which hints at why she values inexperience. She gives the staff three questions to ask themselves when developing a story that should be obvious to any first year communications major then “cleverly” suggests a mnemonic device that makes no sense. Oh, I see. It’s to, once again, establish Don’s asshole bona fides.
Gary then asks about the oil spill so Will can pad his own jerk CV by pitting the two African American staffers against each other to explain their animosity then pats himself on the back for knowing this information. How does this guy not get punched on a daily basis? Jim runs down what SB 1070 is so Maggie can get righteously indignant about how jacked up conservative Arizona politics are and Will can smarm at her condescendingly.
Mackenzie continues that they have Gov. Brewer for nine minutes while Jim pats her on the back about the interview being an exclusive, because Sorkin has never seen Brewer in action. Mackenzie speechifies via a tortured and utterly wrong analogy, that the governor was persuaded to appear on the new News Night because it will function like a courtroom, with Will presiding as the attorney for both sides, and they’ll only call expert witnesses. She does understand attorneys are not objective bystanders in court, right? Whatever, she’s preening that it’s so revolutionary in its common sense and she’s just so awesome for implementing it.
Who is more awesome than me?