The Taste: Episode 2 – It’s all about the what?

The Taste

By eyediosmio | Monday, February 4, 2013 | 11:28 pm | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Taste

We have a contestant who sings as good as he cooks, which is BADLY.  He’s out. NEXT!

Our next contestant is a former anchor who is married to a former baseball player and ohmygod the hate.  THE HATE! Not really, but yeah.  You know they don’t need $100k.  She’s “writing a cookbook” and wants her own cooking show.  Surprise surprise.

 

It was either this, or try out for the relaunch of “Murphy Brown,” but I dont think my sleeves are poofy enough. 

This pink nightmare has some tricks up her sleeve though, and the judges are intrigued. 

Erika’s dish 

All the guys shoot her down, but Nigella takes her and they officially have a woman’s team of four.  Now she can just hang out and munch away.  Smart woman. 

Next up we have a trio of vegan/vegetarian/raw chefs.  On a side note, why the hell do these people audition for these things?  Proteins, especially meat, is very important to most culinary endeavors and ARE YOU KIDDING ME-  it’s Anthony Bourdain, people!  Stop it.   Just stop!  He will not like you, ever.  So stop.  Yeesh.

This friggin idiot is not helping her case either. There’s a homeless woman by my office who walks around covered in her own urine rocking a tutu.  In other words lady – you look crazy.  stop it.

What’s really funny is that the screen just closes on her before everyone gets to say no, it’s really wonderful and I have to think the producers were behind that or God is good.

Needless to say, the vegan/vegetarian/raw food is not accepted well and they all call the vegetarians out right away.  Everyone gets a good laugh at the moron with the tutu, but other than that forget it.  They’re over it.  Tony says he wants to vomit with terror.

 Our next dude, is just that.  A dude.  He’s Gregg from NY and he’s a total guy’s guy.  BUT he says he plans on bringing a sexy spoon to the table, and impressing the judges with his flavors.

Gregg is bringing sexy back, but just a spoonful.  Maybe a tablespoon

Gregg’s sexy spoonful

The judges are all impressed, and OF COURSE both Ludo and Malarkey want him on their team, and I am giggling because this guy picks Ludo.  You just know that Malarkey is losing sleep over it.  

Of course, Gregg celebrates classily, as you do.

There is nothing sexy about this weird dry humping of the air, not even a teaspoon of sexy.

Our next dude is the ponytail with the scallops.  Actually what is up with the scallops? I love scallops though, it just seems that people are crazy about cooking them on this show – a LOT.

Nigella thinks the flavors are fab and Ludo’s team is full but Tony is holding out for his last team member.  Sorry ponytail dude.

Is it me, or does he look like the singer to a nineties rock band?

Adam’s sexy scallop spoonful  (Dammit Gregg!) 

Malarkey has one more space, and he picks the ponytail!  What is really great about it though, is that the ponytail seems kind of disappointed.  Or he’s high, it’s anybody’s guess.

They try and up the ante with Tony being the last one to fill his team, but seriously.  Once they introduce us to Uno and she asks to drink all the sake, I am an instant fan.  AND once she tells us she is making an Asian dish using gizzards?  You just know the freak who loves the organ meat is going to choose her.

She’s a single Mom, of course, and loves to cook.  What do you think Tony will say?

Uno promises to make Tony orgasm with one bite, and I say “It’s only 8:00 - watch your language!”

The producers pair her audition up against a total pompous ass who is so self aware and bragging to the camera the whole time and 1) I am not going to use his name because I won’t give him the pleasure of googling himself and 2) he’s a total waste of space.  He really bugs me and creeps me out at once.  It’s kind of like if the controlling evil husband from every single Lifetime movie auditioned for a cooking show – he would be THAT GUY.  Ugh.

And drum roll please!  Tony chooses Uno!  He totally recognizees the flavors and their complexity and was very impressed, he was practically giddy.  It was a great ending, and I am excited to see who is going to take this thing and to see Malarkey go toe to toe with Ludo.  

We are all set with our teams and ready for the real competition to get going – Are you all ready?  Watch with me, and let’s predict who you think will take it!

I have no idea, but I don’t know if a home cook can advance in this thing, but it’s anybody’s game!

And for your viewing pleasure, a gallery of our chefs chowing down . .  .

Slurp

ROWR!

Gulp

Le nom nom nom 

 

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Wendy
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 9:40 am

    Great recap! I giggled at the “Le nom nom nom” at the end :)

  2. 2
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    Great recap. Agreed with everything you said regarding the contestants. Now I’m looking forward to seeing how this will work. We’ve seen clips of the judges in the kitchen, but they can’t know whos dish is whos. How’s that going to work? Will they all be making the same dish? Is there a “teach” with the team leaders that somehow ties in? I’m perplexed, but eager to see what they’ve come up with.

  3. 3
    Madani Madani
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    “le nom nom” ha ha! Good one! :-)

  4. 4
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 7:07 am

    Thanks guys! I am working on last night’s show’s recap, which proved to be really good. Man, I hate that Diane sooo much!

  5. 5
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 7:39 am

    Diane is such an arrogant bitch! I was pissed her food turned out well. lol

    I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about how the final judging was handled. I agreed with their decisions, but they really screwed the pooch on the “entirely blind tasting” thing.

  6. 6
    micat
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 9:21 am

    Did anyone else think that Jeff Mahin looked like Ben Wyatt from Parks & Rec had put in dark contacts in order to disguise himself?

    I’ve decided the show is not for me because of the way the vegetarian segment was handled, but I will be sure to enjoy your recaps! :)

  7. 7
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    @micat: oh no – the veggie segment offended? Are you a vegetarian? Anyway, I thought that by grouping the loon with the other two did the other two chefs a disservice. I have to say, that she was an idiot. BUT Tony did give the blond probably the best compliment he’s ever given a vegetarian chef. Which is HUGE! I also thought they were very nice to them, but saved the nastier comments for behind their backs.

    And honestly, I really don’t understand why a vegetarian chef would audition for such a show when you KNOW they’ll have to cook with meat. The first challenge last night was with bacon, so yeah. How do you cook with bacon when you are opposed to it? You have to be able to taste your dish before sending it out. It’s just odd to me, they knew they were going home. And tutu girl just got on screen because of her befrigged stupid tutu. MOron couldn’t even hula hoop right. Yeesh!

  8. 8
    JimbobJones JimbobJones
    Posted February 6, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    I thought the vegetarian segment was hilarious! That they were able to tell that it was a vegetarian each time was awesome. (And keep in mind that not every “non-vegetarian-made” dish had meat in it).

    Do I think vegetarians can be good cooks? Of course. My wife is Indian, and there is a LOT of great veg Indian food.

    However, I agree with Eyediosmio — there is no way that a vegetarian chef could ever win a cooking competition (and I’m a bit baffled why they even try out). Even if they make the best veg food in the world, if you need to cook with meat in a challenge, it makes it that much harder. Even if they don’t need to cook with meat, there are a whole range of flavors that you just can’t get without meat products (that judges will be looking for).

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