The Taste Recap: And so it begins . . .

The Taste

Meanwhile, Nigella sweetly encourages her kids to dance with a chimney sweep. 

Malarkey and Ludo are really going after each other at one point, Malarkey starts mocking Ludo for being French – which really?  That’s not funny unless I do it.  Ludo goes right back at him and calls him lazy for standing around with his arms crossed.  Damn!  I would have made fun of his weird playdo face, but whatever. 

Tony is as laid back as those two are pumped up.  He’s making suggestions, gently guiding his cooks regarding choices of flavor, etc.  He declares himself above it all, which I think is his general state of being. 

Malarkey chooses Jeff’s dish for the tasting, and Micah is pissed off about it.  On Tony’s team, Diane is being her typical self, which is awful.  If she was a flavor, she’d be epecac.  She’s saying that Nina’s food is horrible, so you know they’re going to pick Nina as the magic dish.   Which they do!  Diane is unhappy – SURPRISE!

Diane’s true self slowly revealed – anybody see The Ring? 

Lauren the country bumpkin’s dish is Nigella’s spoonful of sugar, and Ludo’s team chooses (together, mind you) Sarah’s Mac and Cheese dish.  And guess who else had Mac & Cheese for their spoon – that’s right Malarkey!  Mwah ha ha ha ha!  Awesome.

So Gabrielle tastes the first spoonful, which is Sarah’s from Team Ludo.  She says there is a chemical taste and it’s kind of plastic.  Ludo’s team is freaking out and confused.  Sarah says the whole team tasted her dish and nobody caught that flavor.  Ludo is pissed at himself for not catching that.  

Sarah’s very original idea of Mac & Cheese 

Next up is Jeff from Team Malarkey, who also has the Mac and Cheese.  Gabrielle declares it lighter and not as dense.

Jeff’s Mac & Cheese, unlike anything else being served today 

Lauren’s dish is well received, and Gabrielle likes the fried egg and says it was a pleasant finish.  Lauren’s freaking out she’s so happy.

Lauren’s spoonful 

Tony’s team is next, and Tony is really confident that Ninamarie’s Israeli couscous really stands out.

Ninamarie’s confusing spoonful

And it kind of does, but it also confuses as well.  Gabrielle is confounded and says “what is going on here?”

And the winning team is Nigella!  Score one for the ladies!  Of course Diane talks shit about Lauren, man. She takes every opportunity to just be a horrible person, doesn’t she?  You think her future employers will google her and be impresed with her performance here?  Yeah, I thought so.  

Seriously, hating on Lauren would be like hating on Easter bunny, or chocolate, or girl scout cookies.  She’s so sweet.  And she’ s got immunity.  So nyah.

eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

11 Comments

  1. 1
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    I just don’t know. I’ve enjoyed it, but like I said in the minicap, it really threw me for a loop when the broke from the name of the damn show, THE TASTE, to decide final judging. I would have enjoyed your alternative eyediosmio, or if they decided who was going home but didn’t reveal the decision till after they talked to them. Either way, I’m going to give it anotherepisode or two and see how I feel.

    Diane is a complete and total toolbitchdouchenozzlecanoe. Cannot stand her!

  2. 2
    Chelsea
    Posted February 8, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    I absolutely love Kristianne. I loved that she stood up for Michah and told the rest of her team \you are not a good person\ I thought of all of the places tvgasm would have caught the Hills reference.

  3. 3
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 4:46 am

    @Chelsea: I love Khristianne, too! And ESP the way she stood up for Micah.
    It was weird the way ponytail and tattoo Jeff were smirking
    The Hills reference totally escaped me, truth a certain couple burned a hole in my brain where
    My memory of that show should be. Sad face.

    @ TVKimmy: if they do thus show again, they rally should change the format. BUT, truth b told I thought they let the right people go based on their initial tastes/reactions.

    I also have a feeling people are gonna get nasty.

  4. 4
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 8:05 am

    @eyediosmio, I actually kind of enjoyed this show and I’m glad you’re recapping it, I love your take on things and I plan on watching it until the very bitter end.

  5. 5
    moonshine
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 8:56 am

    I’m not surprised Ludo did not return the high five – no other nationality hi fives, it was something one taught a toddler to do, similar to ‘peek a boo’ but one morphed into an adult behavior whilst the other remained in the nursery. It would be fun to reverse them and have adults peekaboo each other!

  6. 6
    zerocool
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I’m liking the show so far; I agree the final elimination goes against the format, but at that point I understand why they’re doing it (so all the judges will still compete as much as possible?).

    Can I tell a little story about kids drinking in Europe? My sister (a teacher here in U.S.) was visiting relatives in Wales; she went to a PTA meeting out of curiousity. They served hard cider to the kids at the meeting. A PTA MEETING – hard cider – unbelievable!!

  7. 7
    Just Ducky
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 8:16 am

    Although I agree that Gregg is easy on the eyes, I think he may be at best a narcissist and at worst the next Ted Bundy?

  8. 8
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted February 10, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    I’ll start off by saying that while I still think Bourdain is a pompous ass, he was actually quite pleasant while guiding his team during the immunity challenge. It surprised me.

    Diane definitely took her loss on Chopped hard, becase he was never even near this level of bitchiness. I get why she’d be upset, the judges told her her dick was absolutely perfect but still eliminated her because she totally forgot a basket ingredient. Still no excuse for breaking the Bitch Meter here.

    The elimination bothered me on many levels. For starters, they broke the show’s premise by knowing who cooked what for elimination. Second, I hate double eliminations on the first day of competition. Third, because they eliminated Renatta for making a dessert. I fucking hate how so many chefs think so slowly of desserts, despite them being staples of a full meal. It reminds me of when Lauren auditioned and the male judges said they weren’t looking for “a dessert cook”. Fuck you, you pisswads! Desserts are just as valid as any other meal, and I respect any non-baker or non-pastry chef who can make a great dessert, because I sure have seen pastry chefs making savory dishes with no problem. Methinks so many chefs are just so scared about making desserts (see so many of them on Top Chef) that they automatically dismiss desserts.

    Seriously, Renatta’s dessert can’t have been bad to get her eliminated, seeing as how Malarkey loved it. Nobody liked Shawn’s dish, he should have gone home. At least one judge loved Renatta’s dish, Shawn’s was pretty unanimous in that it lacked seasoning. Seriously, why would you not kick out the guy who didn’t season his food? It’s cooking 101, the most basic stuff about cooking! Salt and pepper! I’m not a good cook and even I know to season my food and taste it as I cook to adjust it! Man, it pisses me off that they let lack of seasoning slide!

  9. 9
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 7:24 am

    @Chris: I totally agree regarding the dessert issue on these shows, what is more comforting than sugar? SERIOUSLY! Although I wonder if it was the way it was presented on the spoon, or perhaps the flavors weren’t complex enough. I think you can get more complex flavors out of a savory dish than a simple apple crumble, that could have been the issue.

    And Shawn, what a derp. I find lack of salt is always an issue, in restaurants and on these shows. Tsk Tsk! Hopefully he keeps that in mind next time, but on these cooking shows people get in their own way all the time.
    @JustDucky: Gregg is a harmless doof, he really tries too hard. My husband says he seems like the kind of guy to drink too many beers then smash them on his forehead before he passes out on your couch. Ha!

    @Derek: Thanks my friend! HOpefully this show gets a little more amusing, right now it’s kind of cruising.

    @zerocool: My husband’s family is Old World, he tells me they used to give the kids a little sambucca for a tummyache

    @moonshine: Honestly, I can never FATHOM Ludo ever having high fived anyone. And she wanted a high five over something simple. Grrrrrrrl, do not insult the Ludo with your childish antics! Also, she needs to get her head on straight before she burns down the whole building. Yeesh!
    And LOL at the peekaboo, I can see Sarah doing that – hee!

  10. 10
    Pegalicious
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    @moonshine, I would LOVE it if adult “peek-a-booed” instead of high-fiving. Makes me giggle to think about it.

    And @eyediosmio, I’m loving your Mary Poppins references for Nigella. I was thinking of unicorns and rainbows, and perhaps Care Bears, but Mary Poppins is much better. Thanks for your great recaps. (BTW, I, too, cry all too easily. Even if I could cook I’d never make it on one of these shows.)

  11. 11
    JimbobJones JimbobJones
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    So far, this show has been a bit dull (I’ll ignore the idiotic ending that goes against the whole show concept). Hopefully it’ll pick up, because I really WANT to like it.

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