And so the individual cooking competition portion begins! Everyone has one hour to cook a “comfort food” dish, and the judges will be choosing blind their favorite and least favorite.
Renatta is making an apple butter crumble, and Erika asks Gabrielle whether she should make a beef stew or pasta dish – Gabrielle urges her towards the stew.
Trying to start conversation, Uno asks Diane if she’s making a Korean dish. Diane OF COURSE takes this opportunity to try and create a blood feud with Uno over it and says, “do you really want to start?” Uno is honeybadger and couldn’t give a shit and says, “why do you have to fight about it? I’m just asking.” Diane declares herself an a-hole and everyone at home collectively shouts “DUH!”
So yes, Diane is making korean food. Yeesh.
Anyway, unlike Diane, on Malarkey’s team, Ponytail and Tattooed Jeff are getting along famously and giggling. It’s nice to see chefs cooexisting and not spitting in each other’s dishes or accidentally tipping a jar of sziracha into a dish. Or just being a general bitch to everybody. Refreshing
On Ludo’s team, Sarah is LITERALLY having a meltdown. This poor girl is so clueless and Ginger Paul calls her damsel in distress, I call her a nitwit. She starts lighting paper towels on fire and just standing there like a moron saying, “What do I do with this?” Ummm, how about you PUT THE FIRE OUT DUMBASS! Gregg the Sexy Spoonful runs over and extinguishes the flame not once, but twice! What I found hilarious about it is that the first time I chalked it up to nerves, but the second time she does it I have to wonder if she’s a little slow and I worry she may light her hair on fire next. Put that mane in a ponytail lady!
Like, um, what do I do with this?
Stop drop and roll, bitch!
Gregg interviews that he’s trying to put a positive energy into the group and he’s kind of stepping up as the leader when Ludo’s not there. It kind of makes sense, he seems very knowledgable and also very likeable. He genuinely wants everyone to do well, and is interested in what his teammates are up to. He kindly tells Shawn he may want to put a little more salt on his dish, and Shawn is like “whatever, leave me alone.” Hrmmmmm, you know, this may come back to bite him later. (It totally does.)
Lauren the country bumpkin decides to make Shepherd’s pie but she’s never made it before. Gabrielle warns her that may not be such a good idea, but Lauren’s like, “Bitch pleeze, I got immunity aright?” Which, good point but also, you will make yourself look like an ass if you mess this up horribly with a bad dish right after you make the winning dish. (It totally does.).
Everyone is just sweating and scrambling to deliver for this first challenge: Micah’s making a mediterranean chicken dish that reminds him of his dead Dad (nobody can hear your sob story Micah!), Uno is making sticky chicken wings, Diane is making an ass of herself, Khristianne is making a seafood and coconut milk dish and yummm that sounds good.