The Taste: The Earl of Sammich

The Taste

By eyediosmio | Thursday, February 21, 2013 | 9:44 am | 6 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Taste

Okay, so our sandwiches are Khristianne, Gregg, Huda and Diane.  They love Khristianne’s sammich, and they like Gregg’s untoasted bread and the taste of the tuna, Huda’s they deem bland and too acidic (which Niella rightly calls out) and Diane’s is too wet.  Hee hee!

So who’s the winner?  GREGG!  And everyone is PISSED!  Sour grapes, I say. Just start cooking better, people.  Show him up.  Stop whining. 

The individual challenge is a Sandwich challenge – just make the best sandwich you can. That’s it, should be easy right?  Wrong.  Watch how wonderfully everyone messes this up. 

So Gregg is doing a Naan, and the judges are giving him very good instruction and he’s actually listening.  Imagine that?  Sarah has decided to make a fried oyster taco, and the guest judge is like “I applaud your creativeness,” which is code for, “you are sooooo effed.”

So while the chefs are cooking, we get some great behind the scenes of the mentors hanging out, drinking beer and talking shit about the contestants.

Okay seriously, Malarkey.  What is UP with the shorty pants?  Are you one of the Rascals?  And Nigella can’t dial down the sexy if she tried. It’s impossible. 

They don’t want to see an openfaced sandwich, apparently Khristianne does NOT work near the boys on her team (I think we all caught that from the beginning, amiright) and cooks on her side of the kitchen, all of the judges really like her cooking and are looking forward to seeing what she’s going to bring to the table.

Khristianne will DOMINATE YOU! 

Khristianne describes her sandwich and I friggin start drooling. One word:  Chicharrones.  This latina is in deep passionate love with chicharrones.  Good call, Khristianne.  Especially because if you consider she’s also adding some chicken liver mousse, so the chicharrones would give it a nice crunch and contrast in texture.  Nom nom nom.

Ponytail says he’s making a “Cubano” sandwich and man, his pronunciation is just horrible and it makes me giggle.  It’s called a simple Cuban sandwich, there’s no such thing as a “Cubano.”  A “Cubano” is a person, dumbass.  And that would be very gross and illegal.  But would it make this contest more interesting?  That is the final frontier in reality TV folks:  Cannibalism.

Theres’ a lot of talk from from the competitors about not having the time to make bread and only one contestant is trying to make it and that is Mia on Tony’s team.  Uno is making a steamed bun, but is using premade dough because she doesnt have the time to let it sit or rise, and Diane is using a ciabbatta bread? 

Lauren cracks me up when she says she knows Tony loves ethnic food, so she’s making an armenian sandwich.  I am so intrigued as to how this is going to turn out.  Hrmmmmmm.  Cooking to one particular judge’s tastes is NOT a bad move.

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

6 Comments

  1. 1
    LAC LAC
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Danke for the recap! And for the quick education on the cuban sandwich. I have eaten and loved them (especially one made in Miami’s cuban section) but I called them cubanos. Doh!!

    While we may get the name of a sandwich wrong, people of all stripes should agree that Malarkey needs a good slapping. From the opening sequence on, that permafrost hamster on crack is at it. There is no live studio audience – why is he jumping up and down like he is on “The Price is Right”? I know that there is a good chef under all the botox and borrowed clothes from “It’s a Brad, Brad World”, but I wish he would not feel the need to fill up the hour with his braying.

    I don’t have any real hate with the contestants. I am a little sick of the bitchy Diane show. Yeah, people go through rough times, but not everyone feels the need to spit poison like a puffadder whenever the opportunity arises.

    Didn’t Ginger Gregg come into this competion will some swagger? Now, if Ludo tapped him on his shoulder, I think he would faint dead away.

  2. 2
    wcsdancer
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    I’m always complaining about these women with long hair not pulling their hair back when they cook! Aren’t there health codes? Even the demo guys with facial hair at Costco have to wear little beard hairnets!

    Right there with you, eyediosmio, on Malarkey’s pants. WTF? I personally don’t really even care for that look on a woman, but on a man?

    Has anyone watched Restaurant Stakeout? The restaurant expert, Willie Degel, is SO over the top!

  3. 3
    Miss Molly
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I didn’t think there was anyone as vainglorious as Ludo but …. Drusinsky.

  4. 4
    Erik
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    I just learned that Sarah and Gregg are actually dating – gross! Ditzy and Arrogant together unified in one horrible twist of fate.

  5. 5
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Thanks for the excellent recaps. Now, I have to go catch up, since I do prefer zipping through the ads. I must say that Malarkey has an apt surname. I think I’ll make a sammich first.

  6. 6
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 6:37 am

    Thanks for the comments everyone!

    @LAC: Diane seems to be realizing (in real time, mind you) that she comes off really hateful on the show. If you follow her tweets, she seems somewhat regretful of the way she acted on the show.

    @Erik: Those two are dating?!! Makes so much sense! You know if this was Top Chef, we’d have to suffer thru 20 minutes of behind the scenes flirting – barf! For now, I’ll watch Gregg eagerly trying to help Sarah differently. Honestly, those two are the perfect couple, he’s kind of a jock, and she’s the pretty blond. Damnit, that’s funny

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