The Taste: The Earl of Sammich

The Taste

By eyediosmio | Thursday, February 21, 2013 | 9:44 am | 6 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Taste

So here’s an interesting twist, Diane opens up.  She starts off by saying that she’s never going backwards and that she was in a dark place due to a divorce ten years ago.  She was penniless and at rock bottom, and that is why she has a tough veneer to keep the hurt and pain from getting near her again.  Interesting.  She even CRIES people!  I have to say, I know people like this and have had close friends who were similar. 

Whoa, there’s a tear there.  Do you think it’s like that creature from Alien, and the tear will land on the floor and sizzle through the linoleum?

So here’s some advice Diane, if you keep that wall up all the time you keep out all of the good stuff, too.  And you end up missing out on so much because you are always on the defensive.  Plus, being bitchy is no way to make friends.  Just saying.  ;)

It’s down to the wire, and everyone is scrambling.  Gregg is even helping Sarah and her unhygenic hair plate her tacos. 

Time’s up!  Khristianne does a funny little dance and Mia proclaims “I made the bread bitches!” and Paul is nervous.  Of course.

First sandwich up is Ponytail’s, and again he says he’s serving them Cubano.  That is so gross, man. That poor Cuban man.  (tsk tsk tsk).  Also, dumbass should know there is NO JALAPENO on a Cuban sandwich.  That’s NOT a Cuban sandwich, and something you made up. Sorry, but in Miami, this is serious business.  So is cannibalism. 

Ponytail’s cannibal sandwich 

The judges are not very impressed, and apparently misidentifying most of the ingredients.  He’s middle of the road, no gold star for you Fine Young Cannibal!

Khristianne’s up next and everyone really likes it.  Ludo especially likes the apple component and Malarkey Jugghead Playdo-face gives her a point for risk.  You all notice how he’s very intense with his notebook?  I’d be so happy if it had a unicorn on it. 

Khristianne’s sandwich makes he HUNGRY! 

Gregg’s dish is up next and as usual he is super, super confident.  However, the judges really dislike it.  They don’t understand it, they identify the lamb correctly but the flavor is too intense and the bread tastes like a pastry.  Gregg is really upset, and everyone is happy to see him squirm. 

I would like to say that this is not a sandwich but more like an appetizer at a Chilli’s 

Lauren’s up and she reiterates her earlier statement that she made this sandwich just for Tony.  He takes one bite and declares he loves it.  Everyone agrees, and Ludo comments that this is not the food you eat before kissing someone and Tony says it’s so good he would change his plans just so he could enjoy another bite.  Wait, did Ludo just tell us he wants to make out with Tony?   Interesting.  Canibalism and gay sex in one episode.  They need to advertise these shows differently if they want to up the ratings!  Lead with that, guys.

 

Lauren’s Bourdain Seduction 

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

6 Comments

  1. 1
    LAC LAC
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Danke for the recap! And for the quick education on the cuban sandwich. I have eaten and loved them (especially one made in Miami’s cuban section) but I called them cubanos. Doh!!

    While we may get the name of a sandwich wrong, people of all stripes should agree that Malarkey needs a good slapping. From the opening sequence on, that permafrost hamster on crack is at it. There is no live studio audience – why is he jumping up and down like he is on “The Price is Right”? I know that there is a good chef under all the botox and borrowed clothes from “It’s a Brad, Brad World”, but I wish he would not feel the need to fill up the hour with his braying.

    I don’t have any real hate with the contestants. I am a little sick of the bitchy Diane show. Yeah, people go through rough times, but not everyone feels the need to spit poison like a puffadder whenever the opportunity arises.

    Didn’t Ginger Gregg come into this competion will some swagger? Now, if Ludo tapped him on his shoulder, I think he would faint dead away.

  2. 2
    wcsdancer
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    I’m always complaining about these women with long hair not pulling their hair back when they cook! Aren’t there health codes? Even the demo guys with facial hair at Costco have to wear little beard hairnets!

    Right there with you, eyediosmio, on Malarkey’s pants. WTF? I personally don’t really even care for that look on a woman, but on a man?

    Has anyone watched Restaurant Stakeout? The restaurant expert, Willie Degel, is SO over the top!

  3. 3
    Miss Molly
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I didn’t think there was anyone as vainglorious as Ludo but …. Drusinsky.

  4. 4
    Erik
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    I just learned that Sarah and Gregg are actually dating – gross! Ditzy and Arrogant together unified in one horrible twist of fate.

  5. 5
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Thanks for the excellent recaps. Now, I have to go catch up, since I do prefer zipping through the ads. I must say that Malarkey has an apt surname. I think I’ll make a sammich first.

  6. 6
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 6:37 am

    Thanks for the comments everyone!

    @LAC: Diane seems to be realizing (in real time, mind you) that she comes off really hateful on the show. If you follow her tweets, she seems somewhat regretful of the way she acted on the show.

    @Erik: Those two are dating?!! Makes so much sense! You know if this was Top Chef, we’d have to suffer thru 20 minutes of behind the scenes flirting – barf! For now, I’ll watch Gregg eagerly trying to help Sarah differently. Honestly, those two are the perfect couple, he’s kind of a jock, and she’s the pretty blond. Damnit, that’s funny

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