Christina won’t let Tony have the last word on this feud they’re having! She brings up how the lyrics of the song were derogatory against women. Since when are you worried about songs making women appear a certain way Christina? Did you forget Genie in a Bottle? Rub me the right way? Come on! And what about Lady Marmalade?? You must not have put two and two together to figure out that you, Christina Aguilera, were singing about prostitutes who will do anything for the “bling”. Not exactly the height of female empowerment Xtina.
Cee-Lo likes it because he thinks “b*tch” is the proper terminology for female. Adam defends Tony’s song choice and assures Christina that she’s stupid, reminding her what a metaphor is. The look on her face after she used a word she didn’t know, priceless. He then strips off his lumberjack costume to reveal a glittery “Team Xtina” shirt, which I don’t understand. But it shuts Xtina up, so now I get it.
Chris Mann: A REAL Mann. Zing!
Chris Mann is a very smart man, singing The Voice Within for Christina’s tribute. See Juliet, that’s what you’re SUPPOSED to do, sing you coach a song that they wrote, or at least sang in the past.
Christina, never one to stop once she has a bee in her bonnet about something, gets up on stage with Chris after his performance and keeps going on and on about how Chris “is a REAL MAN! A REAL MAN who respects women!” Christina REALLY doesn’t like 99 Problems.
Don’t rest you tiny head on those shoulder Cee-Lo!
Now it’s time for Juliet and Cee-Lo’s duet; Born to Be Wild. There are people in cages all over the stage. If there’s anything to get upset about Christina…At least lobby for a cage-free environment for these people.
There’s still three more hours to fill so on to more duets!
Do you love the Beatles? You know, I DO love the Beatles. I think we are the only two people on Earth who LOVE the Beatles.
Tony and Adam sing Yesterday because they love the Beatles so very much. Did you know that Tony was the ONLY Mouseketeer that played a live instrument while taping on The Mickey Mouse Club? Take that Christina!
Jermaine sings God Gave Me You, because he knows how to thank his coach properly. I believe I even saw a tear from Blake. He loves how his song sounds, plus he’s thinking about all the residual checks he’ll be getting from this performance.
Chris Mann sings You Raise Me Up like a beautiful little angel real man that he is. He’s such a real man, that he has reduced Christina to tears.
Cee-Lo asks Chris to sing at his wedding, assuming he ever has one. Christina can’t get it together, she is overwhelmed by how much man he is. Ironically, Cee-Lo is wearing a shirt that says “No Problems.” Wonder if she caught that?
Once they mop up Christina’s Real Man tears, Blake and Jermaine take the stage singing Soul Man. It’s adorable. Blake is really trying to live out his dream of becoming a Blues Brother.
So it seems that Juliet was the only one who missed the memo about using her coach’s song in the tribute. Tony sings Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5 and Adam couldn’t be any prouder.
Finally it’s time for Juliet to sing! She sings Free Bird and sweeps up the whole stage with her cape-thingy. Juliet rocks it out, as per usual, and I really hope this means that epic rock songs are making a comeback. I’m getting really Bieber-ed out these days.
Adam says that she has all the grit in her voice that he doesn’t have. Thank you? Christina reminds everyone that she had to perform tonight WHILE she was sick. Cee-Lo reminds everyone that he is wearing a shirt that says No Problems. It’s up to you America! Who will you deem worthy of a career in music?
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