Well, all the teams are full so it’s time to go to our first night of the battle rounds!
Our first battle – we know it’s a battle because of the boxing ring-like stage – is for team Blake. Blake has chosen Michael Buble as his helper and I think that it’s perfect. I love Michael Buble and he is actually hilarious. Is Dave Grohl from Foo Fighters playing piano? Blake has teamed up Casey Meusigmann and Terry McDermott. To refresh your memories, Casey is the overweight wrestler who smacks his own ass and Terry is the one that looks like a British 80’s rocker. They are singing ‘Carry On Wayward Son’ by Kansas. Michael tells Terry that he reminds him of an 80’s rock anthem singer. You and everyone else, Michael. Terry tells us that he intends to claim his part of the American Dream. Casey counters with the fact that Terry might have to be a casualty on his way to success. It’s time for the performance and our fighters are introduced. Seriously – Casey smacked his own ass again while walking to the stage. I would pick another claim to fame if I were him. They both do an awesome job, by Terry was way more comfortable with the song. Blake chooses him and then the judges are told by Carson that they have the opportunity to steal Casey. Nobody does, so Carson may as well have just kicked him in the nuts.
Team Adam is up next. He has picked Bryan Keith and Colin McLoughlin to sing ‘Santeria’. Bryan was the first 4 chair turn, while Colin left grad school to follow his dreams. Adam is being helped by Mary J Blige, who tells Colin that he needs to ‘crackle’. I really don’t know what the hell that means, but I hope it has to do with him loosening up. Bryan is having some issues with the nuances of the song, but Colin needs to get dirtier. When it’s time for the battle, they head in. Ok – either Bryan is incredibly short or Colin is like 10 feet tall. During the performance, Colin only seems to know one ‘dance’ move. If I had to describe it, I would compare it to LL Cool J in his ‘Mama Said Knock You Out’ video. Once it’s over, the judges get to weigh in. Blake thought it was fun, but would go with Colin. Cee-lo and Christina both say they would pick Bryan. Adam picks Bryan and Blake swoops in to steal Colin.
Cee-lo and his helper, Rob Thomas, are coaching Diego Val and JR Aquino. Diego had a childhood illness and now sings to sick kids in the hospital. JR had three chairs turn around and is a YouTube sensation. They are singing ‘Jesse’s Girl’. Diego is all over the place during rehearsals. He doesn’t know the song, doesn’t know the tempo. He is just a hot mess. He tells us that he is going to study the song and be ready. When it’s time for the battle, I’m a little confused as to what in the hell he is wearing. Capri pants and a tight t-shirt with a scarf? I find myself really not caring about the performance. I guess I would go with JR. When it’s time to pick, Cee-lo goes with Diego because he can do something stranger with Diego. Nobody steals JR, so it’s back to YouTube he goes.