Hello Everyone! It’s that time of year again – Fall Season Premiers! We are back with The Voice for the third season and starting in on the blind auditions. Remember – the judges can’t see the people. In case you forget, they will remind you every five minutes.
This season is a new battle; it will be shocking and edgy. We know this because they are all in a circle with their backs to each other. In case you didn’t realize the premise of the show, Blake interviews that at any moment they could be hearing the next superstar. But it’s not just shocking and edgy – this season the teams will be bigger. Each coach will get 16 team members. Christina tells us that for season 3, you have to be ready for anything and everything. From her outfit, I’m guessing that anything and everything may include one of her tits popping out. Also – the talent will be better than ever. Tough luck seasons 1 and 2 – evidently you sucked. In a surprising twist, Cee-lo has gotten rid of his white pussy and now has a pink parrot. It’s best not to question it, just go with it.
Don’t get too excited, though. It’s not just wardrobe malfunctions, parrots and promises – there will also be heartbreak. Cue the clips of people sobbing. Before we get to all that, we are going to see why the judges are superstars. They will perform ‘Start Me Up’ by the Rolling Stones. Adam seems to be channeling Bruce Springsteen, Cee-lo is trying to be Elvis and Christina is wearing a corset onesie that makes her ass look huge.
Do not look directly into the light
Now that you have been reminded of who the real stars of the show are, it’s time for the first audition!
We have Scottish rocker, Terry McDermott. He has an awesome accent but seems like he may be stuck in the early 90′s. We need to take a quick break for some shameless product placement, so Carson has a video of Terry’s family in Scotland on a Sprint tablet.
The haircut is just awful
Terry is singing ‘Baba O’Reily’ and does a great job.
Adam, Blake and Cee-lo turn around.
Adam: You have a pristine, beautiful voice
Blake: I love your accent
Cee-lo: I want you to rock
Terry ends up joining team Blake!
Next up is De’Borah. She grew up in the church world. The church didn’t approve of who she was. She says that she is into love, not gender. Her parents want her to succeed. She sings ‘Hey Soul Sister’ and wins over Christina and Cee-lo.
She is also into some rocking 80′s color schemes
Christina: You are poppy and fun. (This kind of makes her sound like someone’s Jewish Grandfather)