The Voice Recap: F The Winner! It’s Blooper Time!!

The Voice

By TheNooch | Thursday, May 10, 2012 | 6:00 am | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Voice

Top 200 here we come!!!

It’s the finale of The Voice and Carson is here to let us know just how many singles they sold on itunes last night. Well, he doesn’t let us know the exact number, but he does know that all of the finalists made it into the itunes top 200. That’s a number right? That’s the number of hits Ryan Secrest counts down every weekend. With every hit he counts down, I die a little bit more inside.

Blake thinks that Jermaine really needs to figure out what he wants to do. I think he knows what he wants to do Blake. He’s cried about it every time there has been an elimination.

Christina loves the energy in the room and she keeps waiting for someone to yell “Christina I love you!” Why do people keep doing that? I understand they love her, but to yell while she is in the middle of saying something very important about how her former mouseketeer friend hates women and will never know what success feels like, is a bit rude.

Cee-Lo is wearing a shirt with the names of “The Eliminated” from his team on it. Cee-Lo is deep you guys.

Adam is “at peace and ok” with whoever wins the Voice, because honestly, it doesn’t affect his life in any way whatsoever.

Jermaine starts off the night singing with some of his “besties” that he met on the Voice; Pip, Jamar Rogers, James Massone. Yeah, I’m sure they’re all reaaaaaaal close. The blood brothers sing the Jackson 5 classic, I Want You Back and *shocker* Jame is NOT wearing a letterman jacket. He’s really grown up, but he still wears a headband, sooo….

Highlight of the performance? I would have to say it’s the bubbles that were being blasted into the air behind them. I feel like I’m watching the Wiggles. I hope they sing about the color Purple. That’s an awesome song.

You know what I want to watch more than I want to find out who the winner is? If you said Coach Blooper Reel, I would tell you to GET OUT OF MY HEAD! It’s crazy how well you know me.

If you missed it, here’s the recap: silly faces, eating, country-isms, me scratching my eyes out.

Juliet Simms did a duet with exactly the person I thought she would be paired up with: Flo Rida. Of course. I just can’t believe they didn’t do this any sooner. She is sooooo hip hop. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat on this couch and thought, “Will she just sing something besides hip hop for once? Geesh!”

Chris Mann decides to bring back some of his “friends” from the Voice to sing Bittersweet Symphony. It’s a Chris Mann sandwich with a Katrina and Lindsay bun.

The sandwich hits some pretty delicious harmonies.

ANOTHER BLOOPER REEL???? This one is about the “bro-mance” between Adam and Blake. Is there nothing else they can spend their time on? Like maybe about couple thousand more commercials?

HOLY SCHNIKES! HALL AND OATES!??? WHAT IS HAPPENING????? I feel like we’ve time warped! My night was just made.

I love that for their special performance with a celebrity, Jermaine, Tony and Chris are singing backup for Hall & Oates. This is a story they will be telling their grandkids about.

Oates is really rocking out back there with his little guitar. I did not think that was something Hall & Oates did, but I was proved wrong. I’m so proud of them.

This guy is very excited about Hall and Oates.

NOOOO! NOT ANOTHER COACH BLOOPER REEL!!! They really just need to do a spin-off with all these bloopers: AMERICA’S NEXT FUNNIEST TOP COACHES.

Pages: 1 2
About

The nooch is 5 foot 3.  She hates sushi and once she watched a movie on Lifetime from start to finish without making a sarcastic comment.  Once.  That's all.

Listen to her talk on her podcast here: www.megaboomradio.com

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Sierra
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 6:37 am

    you’re so hilarious.

  2. 2
    Sharona
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 7:54 am

    THANK YOU for calling out Xtina on her pants! No, not pants, not enough material for that… skivvies!

    Juliet was totally robbed, but I gotta say Jermaine killed it on Soul Man, and that’s probably what won it for him… I just would have been happier with him in 2nd… =D

  3. 3
    itchy itchy
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Jermaine got lucky because Jesus gave up on watching this lame Survivor season and changed the channel to the Voice instead. Otherwise Juliet would have won.

  4. 4
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Itchy, looking good!

  5. 5
    Viane Slice
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Being officially without cable, I’ve been tracking this show on Hulu. First most of the talent didn’t move me. I hate to say the last time I got shivers hearing an amateur sing for a reality show was Susan Boyle. But still the times I heard Jermaine I liked his voice. I liked Juliet’s voice too, it reminded me of Stevie Nicks – hoarse smokey yet somehow pure.

    Also I lost respect for Christina as a person. I always thought she should have been a bigger star than Britney Spears. Not any more. For this show, all her insecurities came out in aces and spades. If you’re already great, you don’t need to remind people over and over that you are. Christina tries too hard to be sexy (those skanky bejeweled panties ala LadyGaga and other fashion atrocities and the caked on make up). She tries too hard to remind people how talented she is (did she really have to pwn people who are trying for their shot at stardom? Stop running up on stage to sing all over them or sing all over them when you’re supposed to be coaching them.). In contrast, I notice that Jennifer Lopez doesn’t act like that. Yeah she may be just as big a diva but she appears secure enough not to try to put others down. At least on camera.

    All in all I enjoyed the show. But I think someone said earlier to replace Aguilera with Milian. One Christina for another – yeah that would work for me.

  6. 6
    leslilly
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    “Everybody is just using this show to plug their own shit. Does America not see what is happening here? This show is not entertainment, it is commercial after commercial after commercial disguised as “entertainment” after commercial.”

    ^TheNooch – I loved this comment you made! This is exactly how I feel about so many shows. Anyone watch Modern Family the other night? It wasn’t even funny – it was a 1/2 hr commercial for Disneyland. Maybe the fault was my own for expecting it to be funny in the first place.

    Now, back to The Voice. I was shocked by the winner…I tell you, SHOCKED! :) I seriously was. I figured he would come in 4th place. You know who else looked shocked? Tony Lucca. I think he was stunned that he finished in 3rd. He really expected to win the entire thing.

    I wound up really irked by all the shenanigans between Christina and Adam aka Enema-bag. Then I questioned myself for being irked…because after all, didn’t their stupid comments and actions make the show more exciting? I would hate to be a contestant on The Voice. I think the judge/mentor can cause definite backlash.

    Re: someone always yelling “I love you, Christina!”- I have decided that she plants several flunkies to yell that out each show.

  7. 7
    leslilly
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    One more thought: I hit rewind to be sure that I really saw Jermaine, Chris and Tony singing back-up for Hall & Oates. Once I made a positive ID, I started laughing. Jermaine was done with his back-up days! Kinda ironic.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.