Hello everyone! Sorry about my absence – last week was a bit of a disaster and I was out of town for a funeral for most of it. Anyway, I’m just going to start in on the episodes from Monday and Tuesday.
For everyone that needed to catch up (obviously me included), Carson fills us in on the current team standings. Adam and Christina both are at 11, Cee-lo is at 10 and Blake only has 7. We are filled in, yet again, how the whole thing works. For those of you that live in a cave, the coaches can’t see the person singing. Because we are down to the wire, and we just wasted 5 minutes filling people in on what has happened so far, we get right to the first audition.
Meet Michelle Brooks-Thompson. She is a mom and works at a bank. Her husband tried to get into the NFL and made the St. Louis Rams only to be released before the first game. She talks about how the Voice is her ‘St. Louis Rams’ and she needs to prove herself. Come on, Michelle, that’s all you’ve got? No childhood illness, no natural disaster? Not so sad story aside, Michelle heads on to the stage to sing ‘Proud Mary’. At this point in the show, my kids get excited. Not because they are fans of Tina Turner. No, they recognize the song from Just Dance 2 for the Wii. I tried to explain to my six year old that ‘Just Dance 2′ isn’t the one that made the song and it was actually popular a long time ago. Ah, the youth of today. She does a great job singing and Adam and Cee-lo turn around. At the last minute, Christina turns around. What in the hell is Christina wearing? I think she forgot to put pants on with her outfit. Adam tells Michelle that he would be blessed and honored to be chosen. Christina was waiting for a flaw, but never found one. Cee-lo says it was a flawless vocal. She sees through Cee-lo repeating what Christina said and Christina being kind of bitchy and ends up going with Adam.
Next up is Diego Val. This is what we were expecting! Diego got a disease when he was young that disintegrates your hip bone. After fighting through it, he now goes to hospitals to sing for sick kids. Take a lesson, Michelle. Diego is also from Peru and his family doesn’t seem to speak a word of English. Ah, bueno. Diego sings ‘Animal’, part of it in Spanish. Cee-lo is the only one to turn around. Oh no! It seems there are going to be twists and turns this season. Christina comments that she could still snatch him up later. Adam comments that he was a handsome man, which Christina strongly agrees with. Keep your non-pants on, Xtina.
Our third contestant is Lauren Brooke. She grew up with dyslexia. Shocker – she loves singing. That kind of is assumed what with you auditioning on a singing show, but whatever. She sings ‘Cowboy Cassanova’ and I’m sorry, but it was not good. Nobody turns around and her parents seem really hostile. When Cee-lo tells her she did a great job, here Dad mutters ‘Then why didn’t you turn around?’ Easy pops, it was because she sucked. And not in the way that’s going to get you a record contract.