The Voice Recap: Promises, Promises

As the next contestant is shown walking into the building, I am struck by a thought.  Every time a contestant walks in with their parents, it looks like they have been set up to walk across the football field on senior night.  I kind of wonder if they all have a special meeting place down the street and then parade in, as the camera films them ‘au natural’.  Sorry, I digress.

Next we get to Brandon Mahone.  Brandon likes classic music like The Temptations and sings ‘I Wish It Would Rain’.  Adam, Christina and Cee-lo all turn around.  I really think Blake thought that he didn’t have a chance in hell of getting picked by this guy.  Christina told him that he was smooth and soulful.  Adam said that he was a real soul singer, not just an imitation.  Cee-lo rambled about wanting to see him act out the song so he turned around.  Adam is the final choice and one more person for team Adam.

Don’t you like how even when nobody turns around, the contestants are all nice and polite?  Well, meet Jeffrey James.  He sings ‘A Little Less Conversation’ and doesn’t get anybody to turn around, despite Carson praying backstage.  All four coaches tell him that he was great, but the guy is blatantly pissed.  Even to the point that Christina tells him ‘I know you’re pissed off, but you are good’.  At least he didn’t give the judges the finger and storm off…

We need a little time to recover from a not-so-gracious loser, so let’s cue tonight’s montage of failure!

Jordan Pruitt is up next.  She toured with the Cheetah Girls and Miley Cyrus.  She is the epitome of a Disney singer.  She goes out and sings ‘The One That Got Away’.  Her performance is very reminiscent of Tiffany or Debbie Gibson performing at a mall.  Christina is the only one that turns around, but tells Jordan that ‘I have been waiting for you’.

Our final performer of the night is a perfect note to end the show on.  She’s a big, sassy black woman who is here to succeed.  Terisa Grifffin sings ‘Someone Like You’ and kills it.  Blake convinces Christina to turn around and then turns around himself.  Christina tells her that she soared and she would have to be an idiot not to push her button.  Blake comes out with ‘Screw Christina, I’m the one that got her to turn around’.  Terisa ends up going with Blake, who is completely shocked.  After she goes off-stage, Cee-lo tells Blake that he has his hands full.  

Well, that brings our sixth night of blind auditions to a close.  The final count is Adam – 14; Blake – 12; Cee-lo – 13 and Christina – 13.

With Monday done, let’s move on to Tuesday!

Our first contestant is Sylvia Yacoub.  She grew up in Egypt, her mother wasn’t allowed to sing, she is doing this for both herself and her mother.  She sings ‘Only Girl In The World’.  Meanwhile, her family is backstage, screaming every Christina almost pushes her button.  Ok – why in the hell does Christina make such a production of ‘maybe I’ll push it…oh wait, no I won’t’.  She so has to be the center of attention.  Christina, Blake and Cee-lo all turn around.  Christina’s let’s Sylvia know that ‘You’re a singer, I’m a singer, but you also have a voice’.  That is either very deep or complete bullshit.  I’m going to go with the latter.  Blake says that she is the first singer to get stronger every time a chair turned around.  Cee-lo felt like Sylvia was the only girl in the world.  Thanks for the lame pun, Cee-lo.  Sylvia ends up picking Christina, or she was hypnotized by Christina’s ridiculous cleavage.