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IJ Quinn is up next. IJ has obviously spent his pre-audition time inhaling helium. No, wait, that’s just his voice. He even interviews that he sounds like a girl. The thing is, I’m not so much hearing a girl, but a chipmunk. His family is hoping for Adam, who I guess has experience with having a high-pitched voice. During his performance, nobody even looks like they are considering pushing their button. Once the song is over, all the judges are shocked that it is a guy. They ask IJ about himself and he tells them that he works on a pig farm. Christina condescendingly says ‘how cute’, like that will make everything better. After IJ walks out, Blake comments that when IJ said ‘pig farm’ he pointed at him, like he rolls around in pig shit.
I’m going to take a few minutes to make some random observations/questions. First, what is up with Adam. His hair looks disheveled and he kind of has crazy eyes. It kind of seems like he is exhausted, but slap-happy. Or drunk, take your pick. Also – who keeps Cee-lo’s pink parrot during the performances? Is that an actual job that someone does? I wonder what the pay scale is for that…
Those pressing issues aside, back to auditions! Carson is taking his Kia to see Charlie Ray, who is a smog technician in Long Beach. I’m not sure of the point of the road trip, because it’s over pretty quickly. Back at the studio, Charlie sings ‘Home’ and gets Blake and Adam to turn around. Adam says that Charlie has a refined quality and that he is obviously a better coach than Blake. He takes it back, but Blake says it’s too late. Despite this bromance tiff, Charlie chooses Blake. Carson greets him backstage and tells him that he is going to take over his job at the smog shop. Sadly, I’m not sure if that was a joke or not.
Amanda Brown used to sing background for singers like Adele. She is now focusing on herself. She sings ‘Valerie’ and Cee-lo turns around. All the coaches tell her they loved it. Sorry – there wasn’t a whole lot to go on with this audition and was pretty boring. I want more fighting between the judges.
Our second to last contestant is Yolanda Barber. She has been in the music business for 40 years. She sings ‘Get here’. Nobody turns around, but they all think she is amazing. Christina tries to make it all better by telling her that they are trying to find very specific types to fill in the last spots on their teams. I’m sure that makes everything better when she is driving her school bus on Monday morning, Christina. Carson is at a loss for what to say and finally decides on ‘How did it feel to be on stage?’. Gee, Carson, why didn’t you go with ‘Weren’t the light pretty?’
Our final contestant is Cassadee Pope. She was in a band and had Pete Wentz as a mentor. She wants a solo career. Carson shows her a video from Pete wishing her luck. She sings ‘Torn’ and all the judges turn around. Adam, Cee-lo and Christina all kiss ass, while Blake tells her that the other three coaches are wonderful. In a shocking turn of events, she chooses Blake.
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Thanks for the recap, Pollyanna. A funeral is a complete acceptable reason to skip a week of recaps, so the fact that you made an effort to catchup is doubly appreciated (unless Flipit has started paying you or something….)
Why is it that I find Ceelo’s weird self-indulgent pet accessories to be tolerable, and if I admit it to myself, even slightly charming, but I find Christina’s weird self-indulgent cleavage accessory to be down-right obnoxious? I think it wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t have to show them every damn week! But then, the girl is not known for subtlety, in her vocals or in her fashion choices. The sad thing is, she’s not really that old (I say that because she’s younger than me!) but she makes herself appear to be older by desperately trying to clinging to her youth. Much like Madonna. Someone needs to do an intervention on them both.
And speaking of Christina’s ego, I think she was relieved when Terisa Grifffin (big sassy black lady) wound up picking Blake. I don’t think Christina’s ego could have handled trying to corral that much confidence. She had such a sour face on when Terisa was doing her schtick, like “Bitch! I’m the only diva allowed in here! You should be licking my boots.” I think Blake will have fun with her though — assuming he doesn’t dump her in the battle rounds…although I suspect that he might be too afraid of her to do that!
I also suspect that the judges get a preview of the singers before the blind auditions. Like maybe they get to watch at least some of the audition tapes and so they may have a clue to who they’re listening to before they turn around. Sometimes it seems as though they all turn around for pretty but mediocre contestants, and then there are other contestants who are obviously amazing but turn out to be big fans of one of the judges (like Jamar from last year) but only get that one judge to turn around for them. And like the Disney chick from this year. She wasn’t amazing, but I find it interesting that Christina was the only one to turn around for her and then called her by name and commented “I’ve been waiting for you”. Of course, it could be that some connection from Disney or the girl herself gave Christina the headsup, but it seems to me like Christina turned for due to the prior connection rather than the girl’s actual talent. In any case, that Christina will hold onto her as long as she can, but she won’t win the audience votes (unless she can drop the bland Disney-style of musical performance, or the voting audience is stacked with tweens and teens who are familiar with her).
Did anyone catch the look from Blake when Christina said her patronizing “how cute” about the pig farm, it was total “You are a complete asshole thinking there is anything cute about a pig farm!!” What a twit. I bet that guy could do the pig call really good with that high voice!