I’m dyslexic! I thought she said 71!
Carol warns Axel him to stay away from “her” aka Hershel’s blonde/bland daughter. The fact that even Carol doesn’t know her name makes me feel less bad about that one. Axel didn’t mean any harm, he’s just been locked up for so long. How do any of these people still have a sex drive?! They all must stink, and I don’t even want to think about the body hair situations.
Axel explains he hit on blondie/blandie by default – Maggie was with Glenn, Judith Light is like 4 hours old, Lori sucked, and Carol’s a lesbian, sooo…. Hahahah! Carol confirms she is not, in fact, a lesbian. Axel is shocked because her hair screams lesbian. The bigger Q here is why this woman’s hair has not grown a millimeter in three seasons when Carl’s is practically knee-length now.
Just as the Rickettes finally breach the Woodbury walls, Glenn attacks Merle with his wishbone. Maggie gets hold of Merle’s gun, but unfortunately the random mute dude we keep seeing hanging with Merle and Gov. at STD meetings shows up and kind of screws everything up for Glenn and Maggie. Oh, our gang’s luck went south. What a highly unexpected plot twist.
The Rickettes bust into the holding room just as Maggie and Glenn are about to be executed. Okay no way both of these two are dying, right? RIGHT?!!?!??
They set off a smoke bomb from their seemingly unlimited arsenal and get their friends out. It’s too smoky for Daryl to see Merle. Meanwhile, Gov. has learned of the breach but doesn’t want Andrea getting involved. They talk with the Woodbury resident Rick tied up, so Gov. learns there are intruders without valid Woodbury passports afoot.
Gov. tells everyone to go home, lock their doors, and turn off their lights. Okay—1. who is running the electric company? // 2. Locks?? Do those even matter anymore? How antiquated!
Gov. tells a few members of STD they’re under attack, and they best start shooting to kill. Meanwhile, the Rickettes find an abandoned building, but wherefore art thou, Michonne? Hopefully gone to deliver a Girl with the Dragon Tattoo style ass-kicking the governor deserves.
Glenn politely informs Daryl that all of this is Merle’s fucking fault. Daryl is confused at first, thinking his brother is the governor. Ha! Glenn also apologizes for giving up the prison. Rick says it totes not a big deal (???? I respectfully disagree), but seems convinced that since the prison is under the care of Judith Light, everything will be fine.
Daryl would like to see Merle, but all requests must be submitted in writing and notarized before Rick can take them under advisement. It remains to be seen if blood will be thicker than water.
Milton takes a break from wasting taxpayer dollars on useless research studies to get an update from STD. The governor refers to the Rickettes as terrorists (if looking at this from a propaganda standpoint: well played) and sends Andrea on her way to do some women’s work. Lover’s quarrel! PS: all the townspeople have got to know about these two, am I right? Think about how much your average person gossips. Now multiply that by 17,000 since these people have literally nothing else to do. I wonder what the Real Housewives of Woodbury would have to say about Andrea’s sluttiness.