The Walking Dead Recap: The Bizarro Jerry

The Walking Dead

By Pillania | Monday, February 25, 2013 | 6:12 pm | 42 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Walking Dead

“Name’s Phil. With an ‘i’.”

Welcome to another installment of TWD! I somehow managed to tear myself away during the most riveting hour of the Oscar telecast to watch last night. What the heck is the difference between sound editing and sound mixing? Even the winners, who moonlight as co-presidents of the Lucius Malfoy Fan Club, looked exactly alike! I was disgusted that the Academy didn’t bother to stop patting itself on its collective back for 5 minutes to acknowledge the many people who were killed/injured WHILE AT A SHOWING OF THE BIGGEST FILMS OF THE YEAR. Truly shameful. **Stepping off soapbox…**

(If you should’ve learned anything about me by now, it’s that I get off topic easily.) Without further adieu… I totally forgot about the Ghost Lori soap opera until the “previously on…” segment. Selective amnesia. I come down with that a lot, mainly when someone asks me about my romantic history, so I’m very familiar with the signs and symptoms. We last left the Rickettes in the wake of Gov’s rampage. Dude went apeshit and sent in an old van filled with walkers (and a mysterious chickadee in combat gear) to attack our band of merry men. We also saw the return of Daryl and Merle, and the unceremonious dumping of Tyrese and friends from the show…the latter of which was unusual because normally all characters, backstories, and and plot lines are thoroughly fleshed out.

Post attack, the crew’s holed up in Shawshank. Merle’s locked up in a cell but that doesn’t stop him from putting in his 2 cents. I must admit he seems to be the voice of reason here. The Rickettes are not taking the Gov’s threats seriously, and are acting like he’s just your average Tom-Cruise-yelling-at-Matt-Lauer bag of nuts, when Merle and the rest of us know he’s practically surpassed Mel-Gibson’s-voicemails/DUI levels of cray.

Merle says Gov’s for sure got guys on the road, and rightfully points out they should have gotten the hell out of there last night while Gov. was most likely regrouping. The zombie truck through the fence shenangigan was simply a calling card. Listen, Merle may be a douche to the 19th power (though it’s no secret I’ve been hoping he’ll redeem himself), but he is the ONLY one with inside info on Gov/STD, so I suggest the Rickettes start taking his advice. Ignoring him for the sake of being stubborn or holding a grudge is going to get people killed.

Maggie says this is all Merle’s fault, he started it, I know you are but what am I, I’m rubber you’re glue, and so forth. Rick, meanwhile, is still acting dazed and confused. Hershel says Rick’s losing his grip on reality, and as he strides away rather than deal with the situation at hand, Hershel screams at him to get his ghost-humpin’ ask BACK HERE. 

YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS.

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Pillania
About

Picture the most luxurious lifestyle you could imagine, then multiply that by 50.

Now you have begun to understand Pillania, a hypochondriac/grad student/waitress/TV watcher who recently moved back in with her parents while she completes her degree program. She is constantly getting into jams, including but not limited to being "trapped" in the garage of people for whom she was housesitting, causing an accident inside of a car wash, and spilling soda all over her state representative's head whilst serving him at the restaurant.

42 Comments

  1. 1
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    Everything seems so bleak for Rick and Co. That makes me really sad.

    I really hope Tyrese and his wife/girlfriend don’t join the Guv’na. I could careless about the father/son duo, although Rick’s crew needs all the people they can get.

    I thought Guv was def. going to wake up when Andrea was about to stabby stab him. She’s the worst.

    I don’t think Guv loves anyone but himself.

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 1:18 am

    First off, with the everpresent threat of Woodbury being run over by walkers, wouldn’t you think that they’d've ALREADY trained EVERYONE in the fucking town to defend themselves?

    And I get that Woodbury is all about maintaining the status quo (and keeping women as pets). But it’s completely absurd that asthma boy — who’s at least 14 — wouldn’t be jumping at the chance to grab a gun. And instead of standing there meekly, he’d at least be stamping his foot and slamming doors and sniveling about how much he hates his mother (you can tell I’m the father of a 14 year old?).

    But yeah, at this point, the most fun of this show is to watch how poorly written and poorly acted and poorly directed it is — I’m beginning to HATE the constant one-scene-in-the-prison, one-scene-in-Woodbury back in forth. Once in a while, sure, why not. But every single fucking episode?

    Even worse, this episode was all about… Andrea. The most useless fucking character of all time. She’s almost as annoying as Lori — and lord knows, Lori nearly singlehandely destroyed season two. She might have redeemed herself by at least trying to stab the Guv. But no… what a fucking wimp. Remember when she used to call out Dale on his incessant moralistic yapping? What happened to that hardass gal?

    I also enjoyed how, despite Axel getting shot in the head just the day before, they’re still going out to the yard to have their little discussions.

    And the idea that, in this huge wooded area, this other group just happens to stumble upon Andrea and Milton prepping her pet zombie.

    Speaking of which: Why hasn’t Michonne told them about this technique? Why haven’t they all adopted it? They could strap a few zombies to their vehicles and basically have safe passage to whereever they want to go?

    Which, if I was in a zombie apocalypse, would be straight to the nearest fucking island. It’d be relatively easy to kill off the limited zombie population on the island. The rest would be easy street. Although of course, who’d want to watch a show about me sitting back on my ass bitching and moaning and whining about some television show about a guy sitting on his ass bitching and moaning and whining about some television show about some guy…

  3. 3
    Cindy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 8:01 am

    The recap was great, it did flow better, as you said.

    How many times do they need to show Andrea walking? Even in a scene where she’s just talking to someone, she has to walk. And she walks like a complete doofus, like there’s a stick up her ass, her left arm is in a sling, and she’s trying to keep her boobs as far away from herself as possible. Gah, I can’t stand watching her.

    How exactly does that \hobbled zombie\ trick work, anyway? It’s not like they have manners and think, \oh, that zombie over there already has his dinner with him, so I won’t intrude on his space.\ That’s not really how they roll, er, shamble. I’m not getting it.

  4. 4
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 8:01 am

    Itchy – I think the reason the people of Woodbury weren’t properly trained w/ weapons was to maintain the illusion of safety in the town.

    But I am not denying the plot holes. I really love this show, so I always try to see the bright side of things.

    I am assuming that all of this shiz is a giant build up to a battle royale between the prison and the town. The writers better bring it because we have a Hershel/farm/first half of season 2 situation on our hands.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 8:32 am

    Yeah, I don’t want to give the wrong idea — I do like this show. A lot. Partly because of the plot holes — it’s so much more fun to make fun of that way! But especially because of the special effects and watching things like a zombie getting its arms hacked off and its jaw “neutralized.”

  6. 6
    PacoSauce
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 10:15 am

    I loved it when Carol told Andrea to fuck the Governor, then kill him when he’s relaxed. It was so damn candid that I had to applaud her for it.

    Also, that’s some pretty outstanding parenting skills there, Rick. Let’s take Carl to sneak into Woodbury, which is filled with angry citizens and a crazy-ass leader. Perfect time to do some bonding with your son.

  7. 7
    Mimo
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 10:34 am

    I could have misunderstood, but I thought the mission that Rick was going to take Michonne and Carl on was to try to secure more weapons and ammo.

  8. 8
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:03 am

    I thought he just said he was going “on a run.” In any event, in the preview they’re not in Woodbury but some other town. Who wants to bet that’s where they’ll discover allies to help them take on the Guv? Because there’s no way they’ll be able to take out the Woodbury army — even with their record of perfect headshots.

  9. 9
    yeknom
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:17 am

    @Plockness…. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels sad for Rick & Co. Things just look so grim for them. I’m also hoping Tyrese & Sasha dont join the Gov. Didnt any of them notice the Gov was rushing them out (you can rest then be on your way) until the mentioned the prison? Then he was all hey take your time…tell me what you know. And really, can they not see that the Gov totally outnumbers Rick?

    @Cindy, I thought the same thing! Why do they always show Andrea walking? She walks like the stick up her ass is too big. I honestly didnt hink I could dislike anyone as much as I disliked Lorie, but I was wrong.

    @Mimo I though I heard Rick say they were going on a run.

    I’m hoping that Carl & Hershel helped him get his head a little straighter. It is not the time to go cuckoo & search for your skanky dead wife.

    I do like how Hershel is trying to keep the peace in their group by going to chat up Merle. Maybe Hershel will help make Merle a little more tolerable. I was kind of surprised when Merle went to apologize with Michonne. That doesnt seem to be his nature. The funny thing is, I find Merle WAY more tolerable than Andrea. At least Merle makes me laugh sometimes.

  10. 10
    annie annie
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:38 am

    @cindy….you description of Andrea’s walk is brilliant! Lmao…..spot on!

    That’s pretty much all I have to say, cuz jack shit happened in this episode.

  11. 11
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:48 am

    Don’t laugh at me, y’all, but when Maggie’s sister started singing, I started crying. It was just that bleak for Rick and Co. Something good has to happen.

    Itchy – Totes know that you like TWD!! You wouldn’t, like me, discuss the show so much if you didn’t. That’s why I love this comment section. Everyone here is really into the show.

    Did anyone has flashes of American History X when Andrea was “curbing” the zombie??? I had to close my eyes.

    yeknom – I think the Guv’na is going to use Tyrese and his crew, then lose them. I agree that he didn’t give 2 shits about them until he found out that they had special knowledge of the prison and Rick’s crew. It was the one time I have really wanted to punch Rick (for making them leave). And, ugh, Lori is still fucking things up in the afterlife. HATE. HER.

    IMO, I think that it is awesome that Rick is taking Carl w/ him on the next run. Towards the end of season 2, Rick had that talk w/ Carl in the barn – it’s time to grow up, your childhood was cut short, sorry because that’s not fair, blahhhhhhh. I mean, he shot his mother!!!!!!!!!!! Let him go into the closest town to find some food and ammo. He deserves a little adventure.

  12. 12
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:49 am

    yeknom – I was surprised that Merle knew a Bible verse!!!!!!!

  13. 13
    lindaw205
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:54 am

    They do look to be a pretty grim group or maybe it’s because Woodbury has sunshine and flowers and they have…..prison walls. Speaking of which, I can’t help but think they all have to have horrible lung infections from the mold, mildew and dust in that prison. They need to bring up some water and at least clean the area where they’re living.

    Andrea does annoy me as much as Lori did. It’s the combination of smug, superiority, and gotta have my boobs pushed forward like I’m walking the corner. And watching her struggle with her facial expressions through a truck load of botox.

  14. 14
    lindaw205
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 11:57 am

    Oh, and I wasn’t surprised that he knew the bible verse. It’s verboten that the physically abused hilljack was beaten by a parent who yelled bible passages at them the whole time.

  15. 15
    yeknom
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    Plockness. I completely agree! The gov will get rid of them once he gets what he needs. Same goes for Andrea. I have a feeling he only let her stay after she came back from the prison so that he can try to get as much information from her as possible. She’s just too dumb to realize it.
    Ha! I told Mr Yeknom the same thing. Lorie is still f*cking chit up even after she’s dead!

    I wasn’t too surprised that Merle knew the bible verse. I imagine quite a few self-righteous bigots can quote the bible. Makes all their wrongness ok. And also what Lindlaw said.

    And I’ll say what I say every week. They’d better not kill off Hershel anytime soon. I will bawl like a baby.

  16. 16
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Hersel is getting waaaaaaaaaaay to much screen time. I fear he’s a goner.

  17. 17
    yeknom
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    *gasp* Don’t say such things!!!

  18. 18
    lindaw205
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    I feel the same way, plockness and yeknom. I love Hershel and Scott Wilson does such a good job. Old Hershey is the real leader of this group.

  19. 19
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    Sorry, kids, but the writing’s on the wall. There’s no way they’ll be able to stay in the Prison. And I don’t like Hershel’s chances of running away from a zombie. He’s turned out to be a pretty good character – I didn’t like him at first.

    Here’s the original Tom Waits version of the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPnOEiehONQ

  20. 20
    juddfan
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    @Plockness:

    \they’re all gonna laugh at you!\

    kidding. I get weepy at all kinds of stuff. I was struck by how pretty Luna’s voice was, and I loved the sound of the echoes.

    We all had to know they weren’t gonna kill off the gov, so it was no surprise to me that Andrea didn’t off him. Funny that they show so much horror and gore in this show, and nary a glimpse of sexy times. That Gov’s got to be odd in bed, right!? Not that I want to see . . . I did think Andrea looked pretty hot naked, stick in ass or not . . . hee . . .

    And I thought the making a zombie pet scene was awesome!

    Why don’t that have a stick with a blade on it they can shove through the fence to off the zombie herds. Seems like if they go out there daily and kill the perimeter, it would have to make a dent in the population in the area . . .

    I’m looking forward to some more Michonne next week. I can’t imagine Tyrese and Sasha wont see through the Gov, and switch sides, maybe even mid-battle . . . I just don’t like the white guys with them. They can get killed. I wont mind.

  21. 21
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Stick with a blade: definitely! Beats sitting around looking all gloomy at any rate.

    I like Luna’s version of the song too. Maybe even better than Waits’.

  22. 22
    yeknom
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    @juddfan… Yup. The white dad and his assy son can get killed off and I wouldnt bat an eye. As a matter of fact they can make it a trifecta and throw Andrea into that killing.

    @itchy. You might be right, but I’m still gonna hold onto some hope that he’ll be around for a while longer.

  23. 23
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    Oh yeah, and it sounds like he says “I’m going on a run to Atlanta tomorrow”

  24. 24
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Hmmmm, Atlanta? They know what waits for them there!!! I still feel bad that Rick’s horse got eaten…

  25. 25
    lindaw205
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    I liked Luna’s version, too. Although your link wouldn’t play for me…..something about copyright or some such nonsense.

    @juddfan – I think your idea about the stick with the blade is great. They should be taking turns at stick duty for real. Maybe Andrea could wander up again with one of her jawless wonders and there could be an oopsy!

  26. 26
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Weird. The video shows up embedded here (I didn’t do it!) and plays fine — but it looks like it comes from outside the States (well, the titles and other crap youtube puts on the screen are in Spanish), so maybe it’s being blocked over there.

  27. 27
    Dashley Dashley
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Amazing, Pillania, how much you made me laugh about an hour-long episode with enough content to fill about 10 min on any other show. That guy in the hat is a real go-getter!
    Luna’s voice was REALLY pretty, and it injected a lot of emotion into scenes that otherwise would have fallen completely flat.
    Andrea’s stupid. She should have killed the governor. I have ZERO violent tendencies, I have a hard time justifying killing anyone for any reason, but I have to say – if I had been in her position, he’d be dead. And her character loves control, and loves having a gun in her hand, so I think it was totally out of character for her to not kill him. I have a feeling (and I hope I’m right) that she’s the next major character to get killed. There’s not much else they can do with her. Hopefully we won’t have to deal with her ghost hanging around though.

  28. 28
    lindaw205
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    I also wondered where in the hell they got that eye patch. I mean, really, they just happen to have eye patches lying around in the ZA? At least it’s more functional than Andrea’s white thongs.

    I forgot to mention that earlier. But seriously, where the hell did they get that?

  29. 29
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    I decided not to question the patch because it looks so cool and evil.

  30. 30
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 12:49 am

    I can accept that they have a pharmacy somewhere in the town or close enough to it, where they could an eyepatch. Or that Andrea sewed him one for Valentine’s Day.

  31. 31
    ohralphie
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:04 am

    I hated Carl for the first two seasons, and actively wished he would just wander off for good while on the farm. But honestly Carl is turning out to be the most fascinating charector on the show, and it really does make me wonder what the other kids who survived the apocolyps are turning into (with the exception of the 14 year old asthmatic wussy boy). Imagine an entire generation of cold, detached killers with no ties to the ‘old world’ and it’s mores and structures. All thats left is tribalism and …. that is really it.
    The Rickettes should just send Carl into Mayberry to assinate the Gov and be done with the problem. Andrea saw it and of all the things she observed at Shawshank, the change in Carl is the one thing that weirded her out the most.
    And speaking of Madame Mao-ronic, she has thrown in 100% with the Gov. She has a soft bed and people grovelling at her feet and there is no way she is going back to living in a cave and washing dishes for the menfolk again. Although if Carl were a little older I’ve no doubt she would be sleeping with him.
    I also wonder why the Rickettes have not cleaned the prison a tad – sure its secure, but the individual cells they sleep in look the same as the day the moved in.

  32. 32
    April
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:38 am

    All I really have to say about this episode is OMG Michonne speaks!

    Daryl gets so hot every episode I fully expect Carol to just jump him at some point because I know I would. Damn. So sexy and he has definitely become the dominant brother.

    Rick is cray cray and needs to let Hershel and Daryl take over. Andrea is dumb as hell.

  33. 33
    April
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:48 am

    I don’t know what to think about Tyreese and company joining the Gov. That is way off comic storyline. Kinda upsets me but whatever.

  34. 34
    April
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 6:58 am

    In the comic they do try to devise a way to kill zombies through the fence like the stick thing and it kinda works. Definitely should be doing that.

    I don’t think a 14 year old needs to be in the army, but everyone in that town should be armed and taught to defend themselves against intruders and zombies. Duh. I guess part of it has to do with the Gov not wanting everyone armed because then they can override him.

    I feel the writers are trying to pull a comparison thing between that kid and Carl. Watch Carl end up killing that asthmatic kid or something in some battle and oohhhh all compared! woooooahhhh! Blew my mind!

  35. 35
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:05 am

    ohralphie – “Although if Carl were a little older I’ve no doubt she would be sleeping with him.”

    AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. 36
    yeknom
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:32 am

    @itchy, you made me spit out my coffee! lol

    @ohralphie- I agree. I couldnt stand Carl the first 2 seasons so much that I thought he shoudl have been used as zombie bait, but now he’s one of my favorites and I cant wait to see him play an even bigger role. I still say let him and Daryl be in charge. Hershel can be the consultant or mediator.

    @April, right? How the hell can Carol control herself? I’d be making the most blatant passes at Daryl. Like my top would ‘accidentally’ fall off while I was talking to him! lol

    When Andrea was defending the Gov to Rick & Co, is it wrong that I wanted someone to tell her what he did to Maggie? Just so she’s know what kind of low life he really is?

  37. 37
    itchy itchy
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:59 am

    You know, this happens to me all the time. I’ll be talking with some gal when all of a sudden -bam! – her top falls off. It’s distracting, to say the least.

    I’ve always attributed that to cheapshit clothing made in China. But, hmm….

  38. 38
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 8:52 am

    My top is falling off right now.

  39. 39
    April
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 9:24 am

    Yeah gotta do the bend and flip from “Legally Blonde” . Daryl would be like “April, why do you keep dropping stuff right in front of me?”

  40. 40
    juddfan
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    @ yeknom . . . since she didn’t turn away from him after the tank and zombie daughter, I’m not sure how she would have reacted to the deets on Maggie . . . but great point!

    Thanks @lindaw205 for liking my idea, and thanks @April for confirming it is actually in the comics.

    : )

  41. 41
    maryedith
    Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    The reason Andrea annoys me so much is that she’s one of those ladies who looks to men to tell her who she is. As long as she’s got a Shane or a Governor to screw she’ll think of herself as a badass, powerful woman. I’m not sure if the writers are aware of this, or if she is just a fantasy woman to them. It doesn’t help that she says things like, “Don’t shut me out!” to the Governor, as if she’s in General Hospital and not a zombie apocalypse. And I will never, no matter what she does, forgive her for the lacy white thong.

  42. 42
    BlueCanary
    Posted March 2, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    “Between Gov, Merle, and Hersh, all they need is a parrot and a plank.”

    Perfect.

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