LA’s team of old men (no women? that’s kinda lame) gets together to celebrate. Yay Over 25s!
We head over to Demi’s house in LA, where the folks in the Young Adults category await their fates. Demi’s wearing a stupid fedora, in an attempt to give the contestants something to laugh about even if they get bad news.
That’s so nice of you, Demi!
First to get her news is totes not as obnoxious as the spelling of her name suggests Jennel Garcia. Per my theory on the order of the reveals, Jennel is through to the live shows. Good for her.
Next up is country singer and walking aberration Willie Jones. I love Willie despite his Gordon Gartrelle shirt and bolo tie, and so I’m hoping that Demi has good news for the dude. He’s so likable! Demi tells Willie that he’s unique, but that his genre bending might work against him as an artist. Despite that major problem (which I’m sure the judges will use against him later on in the competition when they tire of him) Willie is through to the live shows. But, we’ll let the boy enjoy his charming confusion for a little while longer.
Fresh Prince of the Bayou.
If we’re playing our numbers game, one of the next 2 contestants will be receiving bad news, and I hope with everything in my soul it’s asshole Nick Youngerman, who has just been called to go before Demi. Nick interviews that he thinks he can win the show, and that he doesn’t want to be known as the rapping toilet cleaner the rest of his life. I mean… why deny who you are? BE YOURSELF!!! Demi tells Nick he has an ability to light up the room, but that the bar on talent is high. Nick hasn’t cleared the bar, though, and he’s going home.
My girl crush Paige Thomas is up, and she spends the better part of her screen time crying. It’s amusing, because we all know she’s through. I suppose I can understand the anxiety, because Demi’s poker face has actually been the best so far. Paige is ecstatic when she gets the good news, obvs. And I get a good chuckle too, because the Rihanna lookalike’s celebration soundtrack is “California King Bed.” Bitchy, X Factor producers. Bitchy and fucking hilarious.
Our final 2 contestants are Jillian Jensen, the least sympathetic bullying victim America’s got to offer, and CeCe the Terrible. I’m not excited about either. But hey, at least CeCe washed the leopard spots off her face.
But I still can’t make myself cry. Paige and Jillian used up all the spare tears!
As Demi explains the upsides and the downsides of the audition performance to Jillian, the latter begins to cry. At the exact moment that tears begin to fall, Chris Martin’s voice fades in with the lyric “When the tears start streaming down your face” from Coldplay’s “Fix You.” HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The X-Factor editors have just graduated to Real Housewives editor level bitchiness. Holy fuckballs that was mean.