The X Factor Recap: Party at Simon’s House

X Factor

By RaeRae | Thursday, October 18, 2012 | 6:47 pm | 12 Comments
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Posted in: Recaps, X Factor

The next set of cuts will be made in the Groups category. Simon calls the name of the group Sister C and, meh, I don’t really care. They are followed by a duo called Dope Crisis, whose terrible fashion sense seems every bit the result of the drug induced psychosis their name suggests. 

This is just one example of the effect of the crack epidemic on the Black community.

The last group selected is Emblem 3, who look like the kind of toolbags I used to bang at my college sorority parties (Theta Love!). There’s more crying and anger from the rejects, and we move on. 
 
The final category to be picked is the Teens, and I brace myself to cry. There’s nothing more depressing than watching people dash the hopes of kids whose terrible parents have subjected them to the emotional thrashing of such an intense process on such a public stage. Simon interviews that none of the judges are looking forward to giving these kids bad news, but like, aren’t you the creator and producer of the show? Couldn’t you just not have wee ones on? No? You actually like the added drama of crying children to spike the ratings? Cool.

“The Rachel Crow Affair was no accident, my pretties.” 

The Teens chosen are the darling Beatrice Miller, Justin Bieber swoop haver James Tanner, the incredibly talented Carly Rose Sonenclar, Diamond White–who I totes wanna be when I grow up–, precocious little Reed Demming, and every girl’s middle school crush Arin Ray. Arin’s crying so hard he can hardly breathe, he’s so happy, and it’s really rather sweet. But then we’re treated to shots of the kids crying because they weren’t chosen and I’m heartbroken. The producers try to soften the blow by including footage of Demi crying and talking about the pain of being similarly rejected in her Disney years. 

“I still have nightmares of Mickey Mouse chasing me with a knife around the Epcot Center that time I missed a note.”

But wait– a twist! The judges have decided that there are too many talented singers in the competition to let go of, and the producers call back a number of performers and split them up into 3 acts to be included as part of the Groups category, and I’m genuinely happy for them all. 
 
So, the judges each will mentor one category of acts, and host those contestants at their homes for mentoring session and performance. The producers will assign the judges their mentees, and Simon does a great job of pretending that he has no say in the assignments. LA is pretty adamant about not wanting to work with the Groups and the Over 25s. Demi wants to work with the Young Adults, and Britney wants to mentor the Teens. Britney is in the studio when she receives a call from the producers. And Britney is going to work with… the Teens! I think this is the right fit. Britney’s soft, slow talking will probably be very calming for high-strung young’ns, and if that doesn’t work, she can always slip them some of the Xanax bars she has hidden in her bra. 

“Remember when I shaved my head and attacked the paparazzi with an umbrella? LULZ. Now I don’t even feel things.”

The producers call their boss Simon and tell him that he will be managing the Groups. This is also a good match, as Simon is intimidating enough an asshole to corral large egos and manage personalities. Demi is given the Young Adults, because, like, why not? And LA has a major titty attack when he learns he’s been asked to mentor the Over 25s. Really, LA? This can’t possibly be the worst thing to happen to you on this show. My mom thought you were Randy Jackson when she saw you. Your server at Starbucks wrote “Randy, dawg” on your chai latte this morning. Surely, that was more upsetting.

“I have no clue where Paula Abdul is, stop calling this number!”

The Groups category arrives at Simon’s house in Miami and they’re stoked to discover that he is their mentor, given his success with One Direction from the British version of the show. After a brief speech, Simon introduces the Groups to their celebrity mentor, Mark Anthony. The contestants, especially the younger girls, do a great job of feigning enthusiasm. 

“It’s OK, guys. I wish J-Lo was here too.”

Out in Los Angeles, the Young Adults arrive at Demi’s house and they’re happy to be working with her. Demi introduces them to their celebrity mentor, Nick Jonas, who is sporting a please-take-me-seriously-I’m-a-grownup-now buzz cut. 

“I’m an adult now. I swear! I even fingered a girl one time!” “It totes wasn’t me…”

The Teens arrive at Britney’s house in Malibu, and of course they’re super excited. She’s a legend in their young eyes. And when Britney introduces Will-I-Am (I can’t believe I actually just had to type that silly fucking name out) the kids are even more excited. It’s sweet. Okay guys, real talk, I’m super glad Britney is no longer a danger to the people around her, but why haven’t her caretakers addressed the danger she poses to her eyebrows? Let up on the eyebrow bleach, Brit Brit. You’re one Sun-In application away from looking like Goro from Mortal Kombat.

Hit me, baby, one more time.

Finally, the Over 25s arrive at LA’s Beverly Hills home, and he introduces them to Justin Bieber and his legal guardian manager Scooter Braun. Isn’t the Biebs a little young to be mentoring folks old enough to remember the 80′s? This feels weird. LA is a total asshole and tells the group that he didn’t want to work with them, and Justin tries to give them some inspiration. It’s nice of him, I guess. I dunno, I’m just not a Belieber, so this’ll likely be the least exciting part of the episode for me. 
 
We return to Demi’s house, where the Young Adults are getting ready to perform for her and Nick Jonas. First, Jennel has a pre-performance meet with Demi and Nick, who both advise her to be mindful of nervous ticks when she’s performing. Jennel goes on to perform a pretty solid rendition of Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl.” Demi and Nick don’t directly give Jennel any feedback after she’s done–nor will they be giving it to any of the contestants–and the poor girl’s confidence is completely shot. Once Jennel leaves the room, Nick comments that Jennel is “very good.” Demi recognizes her advice may have ruffled Jennel a little bit, but Nick hopes that Jennel will process it and really deliver at a later date. 
 
It’s Willie’s turn next. I love the kid, but why is he wearing a bolo tie with a denim suit and Nikes?!

Fresh Prince of … the rodeo?

Willie performs The Tony Rich Project’s “Nobody Knows,” the song he butchered during boot camp last week. R&B and country cross over well with each other, and I’m excited to see what Willie does with it. Well, Willie sounds pretty good singing the song, though his version is as genre bending as his outfit. To me it sounds like Willie might be an R&B singer who likes country, and his performance sounds more like an unplugged performance of the original than a country cover. Nick comments that Willie is a star, but that he needs to define exactly type of artist he wants to be. Demi agrees.
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RaeRae
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Stand up comic. Saving for a boob job. 

12 Comments

  1. 1
    DJ
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    Hello RaeRae, welcome to tvgasm. Great recap, I like everyone you said and I’m glad I’m not the only one not feeling Jillian.

    My favorite line was “Then there’s Darryl Black, who, though chocolate, is easily the most vanilla person on the show.” LOL

  2. 2
    keebler elf
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    i thought i was the only one not feeling jillian. im also not a fan on ene- whatever that name is- 3, they are a bit too cocky

    im rooting for jennel, willie, & diamond. carly & beatrice are good though too!

  3. 3
    Lauren
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    Ok first of all, i had absolutely NO idea that Rich Cronin had died. So thank you for that tidbit, and now I’m sad after looking up the how on wikipedia. Emblem 3 really are a wannabe LFO.
    I did not like Jillian at first, but she has grown on me. Probably because girls like Cece have such terrible personalities, that someone like Jillian seems normal in comparison. I think her performances have gotten better and better.
    The only person I really disagre with you on is Paige. I like her personality, but her voice isnt great, especially when she sings songs way out of her range.
    I was very surprised by LYLAS, the only weak singer was whoever was on the far left during the performance. Bjt thy were great for 5 girls who had like 3 days to get it together. Funny how the 3 manufactured groups did better than the 2 groups who had been together awhile.
    Great recap, excited for more.

  4. 4
    Lauren
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Also, thank u for pinpointing exactly why I like Vino Allen so much. SOA is like my crack, and If you put Vino in some SAMCRO gear, and had him bang Gemma, he’d be one of the crew

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 1:55 am

    CeCe is awesome. Let’s face it — this is a television show, and we NEED CeCe to keep this interesting.

    She’s especially great because she knows she not quite pretty enough to make it (compared to that Rihanna-type vision of beauty they keep pitting her up against), doesn’t sing quite well enough (compared to say, that Carly Rose teenybopper), and isn’t nearly cute enough (if cuteness were bullets, that Beatrice Miller would have shot down every single one of these clowns, including Simon and LAndy and that creepy judgette with the cross tattoo on her fucking hand. Britney’s bulletproof, of course).

    But all of that clearly fuels her drive to do this anyway. And I bet as the weeks go on, she’ll get stronger and stronger, drinking off the fading energy of all the others. Hopefully the producers will back off on the bitch edit they’ve been given her (apparently, she’s actually the opposite of that in real life). And she’s got the VFTW vote, too, so don’t count her out yet.

    But in terms of the competition, it’s already clear that the real competition will be between the two teenybopper girls (well, Diamond –is that a real name? – is amazingly cute too, but she’s not nearly as prepared for this as the other two).

    It’s just that, they’ll be so damn boring to watch.

  6. 6
    RaeRae RaeRae
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 8:09 am

    Aww you guys, thanks for reading and commenting. I’m super glad you’re reading! The next 2 recaps are forthcoming. Gimme a couple hours.

    @DJ! I’ll be working on making you guys laugh as much as possible.

    @Keebler watching the next episode, i fell all the way in love with beatrice. i’m not sure who my favorite is, but u’ve definitely listed some of the ones i’m in support of. i feel a lot like willie could be my little brother, so i wanna take care of him, though i’m pretty confident he doesn’t win.

    @lauren paige isn’t great, but she has this powerful weakness that draws me in. i didn’t like her initial audition, but everything else she did before the judge’s house was beautiful to me. it might also just be that she’s super gorgeous and humble, like u said. i dunno, if she’s not talented, i’ll tire of her. we’ll see.

    @itchy u’re absolutely right. i really enjoy not liking CeCe, although, if it’s at the machinations of the producers, i’m gonna be super upset. i like to think i don’t fall for those kinds of edits. thanks for putting me on to VFTW, that is fucking hilarious! i haven’t a clue who will win nor who i want to, but i’m not sure i can stomach CeCe for much longer.

  7. 7
    yeknom
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Cece Frey is more annoying than anything. Anyone who takes that much time to paint leopard spots on their face (& leg) every damned day is too TOO high maintenance and must be stopped.

    I love Willie Jones. It’s like he was raised country but somehow got his hands on Kid and Play movies.

    Paige. Meh….sure she’s pretty, but she seems almost as gimmicky as Cece to me. I want to know if she bought a whole new wardrobe for the show or are these the outfits she wears in eher very day single mom life?

    The kid who sang Tik Tok Sucked. ‘Nuff said.

    I kinda like Jillian and I kinda don’t. Good singer though.

    Jennel. I like her voice, but someone has got to tell her there are other things she can wear aside from short shorts.

    The groups? I could not stand Emblem 3 even when they weren’t singing…and even less after they did.

    Loved Playback. I hope they go far, but I thought Rich Girl was by Hall & Oates.

    I agree with Britney, those three sisters are annoying, but man can one of them Sing.

    I can’t remember Dope Crisis. At all.

    I’m torn on Lylas. Not sure if I like them all that much, but they could grow on me.

    The group w/Lyric? Love. Them. Her more than the boys. So much that I’ll stop calling her a wannabe-Left Eye. But I am a little ticked that they made me like a Miley Cyrus song a little.

  8. 8
    Pari
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 6:42 pm

    Great recap of a great episode! I really feel like the talent lies in the teens and groups this year. I LOVE the Lylas and Lyric 143. Both of those groups are better than the ones that already existed. I found it kind of odd though that there were 6 groups to make it through to the top 60(?), they kept 3, cut 3, and then put together 3 more from scratch. If I were one of the groups that got cut I wouldn’t know how to feel! But I guess that’s just how the show works. I missed the auditions last season but I guess that’s probably how they did it then too.

  9. 9
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    Rae Rae you are a godsend, though I love baseball, the playoffs on the East Coast are disrupting my X Factor viewing…so pissed! I am SO happy at least I will know what the hell is going on because of you…I heart you….

    That being said, I saw nothing this week because of said baseball, but I will tell you:

    Hate Tara- hope she’s gone

    Bieber mentoring the old folks- Seriously how stupid is that?

    Paige is a Rhianna wanna be, not too crazy about her…

    CeCe..douchebag.. nuff said

    I love Marc Anthony, is that wrong? Jlo’s an idiot, just put a bag over his face, Girl, Casper is SUCH a loser!
    Looking forward to your fab recaps!

  10. 10
    itchy itchy
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 10:28 am

    The fact is, CeCe got picked out of the crowd because 1) the stupid dots on her face, and 2) her willingness to play along with the show’s creep-edit of her.

    And be honest: did you really remember any other contestant before the judges’ houses thing?

    So kudoes to her for finding a schtick — and if it’s true that she’s actually a big sweetheart (and the show lets us see this), then she might actually make something of herself.

    At any rate, I’d much rather root for a grown woman than a teenybopper (even if this year’s crop is much less annoying than last year’s).

  11. 11
    XxinnocentexX
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Team Jennel and Vino for me!!! I can’t choose on the young’uns. I feel too guilty. :(

  12. 12
    juddfan
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 11:23 am

    @yeknom, don’t hate yourself for liking the Miley song, it’s definitely addictive, I even liked her version, but agree with all that the version they did was awesome!!!!

    @itchy, I’m with you liking Cece more than hating her. I found her a little fun in the early rounds when she was talking people up, ala Seacrest. I really felt like the producers knew her then and put her up to it, knowing she would go through. I think the throw down with her and Paige is interesting, and frankly, Cece is killing her vocals. I especially enjoy it when they can sing well. Also, her gimmick was smart for something like this, it IS hard to be memorable in such a crowd.

    Feel bad for the oldies . . . the cowboy is meh, tara does not nail her vocal anytime, Vino is hot tho, in a seriously bad boy way. I’m afraid the chances of anyone but a teen, or group of teens winning are slim tho. It’s about who votes.

    And I do like Paige, and I do like her outfits, for the most part, but she should embrace some Toni Braxton and stop trying for the Mariah notes, they’re just not in her wheelhouse, and I want to totally enjoy a whole performance without having to cringe on straining. Even her initial audition was out of her range. And Cece slaughtered her on the dueling Whitney song.

    I can’t tell what happened to the next episode after, I saw some total recap of this episode, and FF’d the whole thing, and there was no reveal. I heard Simon say it’s on Tues (tomorrow) but then I’ve seen some video clips of cuts on-line.

    I really liked the contestants in the back watching and listening to the auditions, the tension was palpable!!!

    LA continues to be a super douche, I think he can only recognize “hot girl” artists as stars. His attitude toward the oldies makes the whole premise of including them a joke. What an insult the bring in the Beibs . . . sigh . . . for both parties!!! The chances of LA getting Vino as an artist are slim, so I hope he puts him through.

    In the words of Pink, “LA told me, you’ll be a pop star, all you have to change, is everything you are”

    I so love that she showed him!!!!

    @ RaeRae, loved the cap doll, and you look adorable in your avatar!!! Mwah!

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