Finally, we reach the insufferable CeCe. CeCe’s interview voices over footage of her actually painting on those idiotic leopard spots, and my hatred for the broad has just swelled by about 2000%. Demi and Nick meet with CeCe and delicately explain to her that she’s an arrogant prick. CeCe forces tears in an attempt to win Demi over, and her demeanor suddenly completely changes to that of an insecure little girl in need of guidance. I ain’t buyin’ it, CeCe! In the waiting area, CeCe asks Nick Youngerman as fake sincerely as she can if she thinks her overconfidence makes her unrelatable. Nick likes the smell of vagina, so he says, “No, not at all!”
“I mean, you’re an awful human being, but that don’t mean I don’t wanna get it in.”
CeCe, now fully committing to this insecure girl persona, goes before Nick Jonas and Demi. She gives a speech about not wanting to disappoint them, and Nick asks her what she’s singing. “I’m Sexy and I Know It’ by LMFAO,” she replies. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAH. Wait, stop. I can’t breathe. AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. HA. HA. This broad just got told her overconfidence was unlikable, and now she’s stuck performing arrogance’s theme song as sung by the most obnoxious duo in music history. Demi and Nick both make disapproving faces at her, but CeCe insists that she chose the song “just for fun.” LULZ. Sure, CeCe. Sure you did. CeCe begins to sing, and the arrogant version of herself takes over again. I’d call her a sociopath, she so easily shifts personas, but she’s too transparent for that moniker. Man, she’s an awful human being. Too bad she isn’t an awful singer. CeCe turns out a pretty good vocal performance. Nick seems to think that CeCe took Demi’s advice to heart, and says that had she held onto the overconfidence, she’d be cut. CeCe tries her darnedest to force tears as she interviews that she just wants to show Demi who she really is, and she promises that we won’t see the animal print if she makes the cut. Whatever, bitch.
We get snippets of Nick and Demi’s narrowing down the contestants, and then…cut to commercial. Wait, what? What a cocktease! It looks like we won’t know who moves on from Demi’s group until next week. That’s annoying.
We now rejoin Simon, that dude who was married to J-Lo, and the acts in the Groups category at Simon’s house. Simon and Mark Anthony sit down for a pre-performance meet with Playback. This group is made up of the 5 boys who were part of the round of folks the judges gave a second chance after cutting them initially. They’re all so adorable, and I’m hoping they do well.
Playback is just so dreamy!
The boys start their performance of Down with Webster’s “Rich Girl,” and I can’t help but smile. The boys are so sweet, and fun and carefree. I’m totes on board. But, hmmmm, for some reason Mark Anthony is not. “I found myself looking around for planes or something…” he says, before trailing off. Really, Mark? Simon completely disagrees. Simon finds them naive and likable and fun. “I just can’t agree with you” is Mark Anthony’s haterrific response. Whatever, Skeletor. Youthful and likable and fun are all words J-Lo used to describe her new boy toy, and you just can’t get past your resentment of all things young and handsome. Dude, loosen up! They’re like 15. They’re not gonna boink your old lady!
And Jesus Christ, dude, take off the wedding ring. She ain’t coming back!