The group performs Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA.” Remember what I said about rappers in this competition being nothing but glorified Bar Mitzvah DJ’s? What I meant was Nick Youngerman is a glorified Bar Mitzvah DJ, and these kids are awesome. The boys were good, but man is Lyric incredible to watch! Their version of “Party in the USA” sounded nothing like the original, in a great way. It was fresh and super entertaining. But I’m a little frustrated because now all I want is to hear Lyric rap her own stuff. Like, she’s the bees knees! Simon and Mark completely agree with me about her.
Next, Dope Crisis performs a very mediocre cover of Nicki Minaj’s “Superbass,” complete with awkward 90s R&B dance moves. The boys are convinced they just killed it, but Mark and Simon think otherwise. Simon believes the duo has just given the best performance they possibly could, and for this competition, that probably won’t be good enough.
Finally we have LYLAS, a group of 5 teenaged girls who were put together as part of the 2nd chancers saved at boot camp. They’re all so beautiful and poised and mature, and they seem to mesh together very well. I like them a lot. They seem so very focused, and considering how long it took me to get this recap up (sorry folks! won’t happen again), I could learn a thing or two from these gals. The girls sing Shontelle’s “Impossible,” and holy fuckballs they’re good! Each of them is very strong in her solo, but the collective is incredible. Simon and Mark are in disbelief at how amazing the girls sound.
“Maybe the sweet voices of these angels will move Jennifer’s cold heart and bring her back to me.”
Ugh, this is making me sad. I’m 24 years old, and my only real accomplishment is never having been pregnant. Maybe I should go read Anna Karenina or something so I can feel like I’m not wasting oxygen. Le sigh. Obvi Simon and Mark Anthony are blown away by LYLAS’s performance. They begin to try to narrow down the Groups category, but we won’t get to see who moves on until next week.
Tomorrow, Britney and the Teens and LA Reid and the Old Bastards.
What’d you all think of the episode? Who are you rooting for? Drop me a line in the comments, y’all.
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