Ptynn is pissing and moaning about her flipper and B-man says Ptynn has had several fits this morning. By several, I bet she means THOUSANDS. “I’ve worked so hard for this pageant, and it’s not fair!” she says. Oh my God, YOU worked for this pageant? I mean, I know Ptynn didn’t, but if you really wanted to win, YOU should enter a pageant. Also, “it’s not fair!” makes you sound like a teenager who didn’t get her way. Kind of like Ptynn in about 8 years.
No, what’s not fair is that we’re going to have to put up with your daughter when she leaves your home and goes out in public.
First up is Ptynn’s group. She gets her hair sprayed and screams bloody murder. She won’t put her teeth in and B-man says if a girl doesn’t wear her flipper, you can pretty much give it up. Good, go home now then, dumbass, and take that whiny little brat of yours with you. Hope the ride home is loooong.
Fighting with a kid is fun!
“I just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk out of the ballroom,” B-man says. NO ONE IS STOPPING YOU. Stupid people really need to stop breeding. B-man, please clip your tubes!
Oh, yeah, this was well-worth the effort. Horsemouth!
Finally, Daddy jams the flipper into her bitch-ass mouth and she looks like she’s wearing horse teeth, and her bottom jaw juts forward. B-man says it “tickles” Ptynn to follow her mother since her mother is acting like an idiot. Unfortunately, one of the judges loved Ptynn, mostly because she doesn’t have to spend any time with her.
Also, this judge looks like a Barbie I would have cherished, she’s so glam!
Beth is in the ballroom and she interviews that she feels really good about how Elesha is going to do. Get your popcorn, people, the car crash is moments away from happening.
Beth says, without realizing the irony, “Elesha doesn’t look like any of the other girls. They’ve done their hair the same way, they’ve got flippers in, they’ve got the fake tans. But Elesha’s gold and black gown, I think that’s really going to stand out and kick booty.” Oh, Beth. Oh, oh, oh Beth.
And man does she stand out. Elesha walks out onstage on her tippy toes, ducking her head and attempting to be graceful. She’s kind of like a baby giraffe just learning how to walk but without the coordination of an animal only 30 minutes old.
Don’t leave the tape line or you will FALL TO YOUR DEATH!
Elesha keeps her head down as her feet EXACTLY follow the taped lines like she’s on a tightwire, she turns on the Xs, doesn’t smile big, looks totally frightened, only blows kisses when her mother does it, steps her foot out like she’s going to pee, almost topples over, then exits the stage before Mr. Tonya is done talking about her. Basically, she’s a hot mess.
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