Liz is next with her Saturday Night Fever prop that loses a light bulb while they are putting it onstage. Hope someone sweeps up that glass. “Who’s the star? I’m the staaaar!” Liz says. Yeah, with one less bulb. Then Liz dances and she’s okay but clearly she doesn’t know the routine and she’s kind of sloppy. That star ain’t shining so bright now, is it?
Still better than Eden’s overpropped stage.
Way to blind the audience with your staaardom.
Judge Pam loves Liz’s edge, “But there was no eye contact with the judges.” Unclench, Pam, unclench.
Luau Wear is next…hope we see grass skirts! That would be really different, wouldn’t it? At least everyone is getting laid.
And this Pageant Grandma likes her grandsons flaming!
Hope says, “Is she going to look like deer in headlights when she gets up there or is she going to blow everybody’s mind and rock it out?” Have you been dipping into the Pixie Stix? Those are for the little teeth, not yours.
Speaking of teeth, why do you need a flipper?
Emma gets onstage and they start playing music she doesn’t know and she freezes. Hope tries to coach her – loudly – and she’s totally confused. Just tell them that wasn’t the music! Emma pulls part of her costume so it opens and you can see her swimsuit but she is frozen solid. It totally threw her and she went blank.
Maybe now would be the time to re-negotiate the horse?
They tell Linda it wasn’t the right music, so they let her go again and she does an amazing job. I actually really liked the surfboard with tissue paper as waves idea. But way to freak out, Hope.
Judge Pam says she did like Emma’s enthusiasm but she did take points off for “no eye contact with the judges.” Pam is really full of herself and wants the attention focused on her, doesn’t she? God, I bet she’s a pill in day-to-day life. You know she’s the one bitching about how people moved too slowly during a fire drill, not realizing that if there were an actual fire, people would trample over her to get out.
I’m turning this bus around NOW and there won’t be a field trip for ANYONE.
McKenzie gets onstage and once again is very aggressive in her dance moves, face and overall performance. In fact, I’m starting to think she’s a man trapped in a little girl’s body.
God, doesn’t that hurt? Also, I’m starting to think the issue is the fade in the lipstick.
Also? This is not helping.
Judge Pam says she loved McKenzie’s luau outfit but she took off, “Because she would not look at the judges.”
Well points off to you for not making eye contact with THE CAMERA.
Liz is having her flipper put back in but the glue is gross and it tastes nasty. So they wipe the excess from her mouth and hand her a French fry…which is going to be the same story on prom night.
Liz gets onstage and dances but she also lip-syncs and it’s very distracting. Let’s go to Clenchy.
Judge Pam says she took of a tenth of a point, “Because you’re not supposed to lip-sync onstage.” I bet Pam eats coal and shits diamonds.
You will write 1000 times, “I will make eye contact with the judges.”
And you will use my special pen to do it.